Mr. Fink's Debating Donkey Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Of a person known as Peters I will humbly crave your leave	A
An unusual adventure into narrative to weave	A
Mr William Perry Peters of the town of Muscatel	B
A public educator and an orator as well	B
Mr Peters had a weakness which 'tis painful to relate	C
Was a strong predisposition to the pleasures of debate	C
He would foster disputation wheresoever he might be	D
In polygonal contention none so happy was as he	D
'Twas observable however that the exercises ran	E
Into monologue by Peters that rhetorical young man	E
And the Muscatelian rustics who assisted at the show	F
By involuntary silence testified their overthrow	F
Mr Peters all unheedful of their silence and their grief	G
Still effacing every vestige of erroneous belief	G
O he was a sore affliction to all heretics so bold	H
As to entertain opinions that he didn't care to hold	H
	-
One day 't was in pursuance of a pedagogic plan	E
For the mental elevation of Uncultivated Man	E
Mr Peters to his pupils in dismissing them explained	I
That the Friday evening following unless indeed it rained	I
Would be signalized by holding in the schoolhouse a debate	C
Free to all who their opinions might desire to ventilate	C
On the question 'Which is better as a serviceable gift	J
Speech or hearing from barbarity the human mind to lift '	-
The pupils told their fathers who forehanded always met	K
At the barroom to discuss it every evening dry or wet	K
They argued it and argued it and spat upon the stove	L
And the non committal 'barkeep' on their differences throve	L
And I state it as a maxim in a loosish kind of way	M
You'll have the more to back your word the less you have to say	M
Public interest was lively but one Ebenezer Fink	N
Of the Rancho del Jackrabbit only seemed to sit and think	N
	-
On the memorable evening all the men of Muscatel	B
Came to listen to the logic and the eloquence as well	B
All but William Perry Peters whose attendance there I fear	O
Was to wreak his ready rhetoric upon the public ear	P
And prove whichever side he took that hearing wouldn't lift	J
The human mind as ably as the other greater gift	J
The judges being chosen and the disputants enrolled	H
The question he proceeded in extenso to unfold	H
' Resolved The sense of hearing lifts the mind up out of reach	Q
Of the fogs of error better than the faculty of speech '	-
This simple proposition he expounded word by word	R
Until they best understood it who least perfectly had heard	R
Even the judges comprehended as he ventured to explain	S
The impact of a spit ball admonishing in vain	S
Beginning at a period before Creation's morn	T
He had reached the bounds of tolerance and Adam yet unborn	T
As down the early centuries of pre historic time	U
He tracked important principles and quoted striking rhyme	U
And Whisky Bill prosaic soul proclaiming him a jay	M
Had risen and like an earthquake 'reeled unheededly away '	-
And a late lamented cat when opportunity should serve	V
Was preparing to embark upon her parabolic curve	V
A noise arose outside the door was opened with a bang	W
And old Ebenezer Fink was heard ejaculating 'G'lang '	-
Straight into that assembly gravely marched without a wink	N
An ancient ass the property it was of Mr Fink	N
Its ears depressed and beating time to its infestive tread	X
Silent through silence moved amain that stately quadruped	X
It stopped before the orator and in the lamplight thrown	Y
Upon its tail they saw that member weighted with a stone	Y
Then spake old Ebenezer 'Gents I heern o' this debate	X
On w'ether v'ice or y'ears is best the mind to elevate	X
Now 'yer's a bird ken throw some light uponto that tough theme	Z
He has 'em both I'm free to say oncommonly extreme	Z
He wa'n't invited for to speak but he will not refuse	A2
If t'other gentleman ken wait to exposay his views '	-
	-
Ere merriment or anger o'er amazement could prevail	B
He cut the string that held the stone on that canary's tail	B
Freed from the weight that member made a gesture of delight	X
Then rose until its rigid length was horizontal quite	X
With lifted head and level ears along his withers laid	X
Jack sighed refilled his lungs and then to put it mildly brayed	X
He brayed until the stones were stirred in circumjacent hills	B2
And sleeping women rose and fled in divers kinds of frills	B2
'T is said that awful bugle blast to make the story brief	G
Wafted William Perry Peters through the window like a leaf	G
	-
Such is the tale If anything additional occurred	X
'Tis not set down though truly I remember to have heard	X
That a gentleman named Peters now residing at Soquel	B
A considerable distance from the town of Muscatel	B
Is opposed to education and to rhetoric as well	B

Ambrose Bierce

Mr. Fink's Debating Donkey Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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