Mr. Fink's Debating Donkey Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFGGHH EEIICCJ KKLLMMNN BBOPJJHHQ RRSSTTUUM VVW NNXXYYXXZZA2 BBXXXXB2B2GG XXBBBOf a person known as Peters I will humbly crave your leave | A |
An unusual adventure into narrative to weave | A |
Mr William Perry Peters of the town of Muscatel | B |
A public educator and an orator as well | B |
Mr Peters had a weakness which 'tis painful to relate | C |
Was a strong predisposition to the pleasures of debate | C |
He would foster disputation wheresoever he might be | D |
In polygonal contention none so happy was as he | D |
'Twas observable however that the exercises ran | E |
Into monologue by Peters that rhetorical young man | E |
And the Muscatelian rustics who assisted at the show | F |
By involuntary silence testified their overthrow | F |
Mr Peters all unheedful of their silence and their grief | G |
Still effacing every vestige of erroneous belief | G |
O he was a sore affliction to all heretics so bold | H |
As to entertain opinions that he didn't care to hold | H |
- | |
One day 't was in pursuance of a pedagogic plan | E |
For the mental elevation of Uncultivated Man | E |
Mr Peters to his pupils in dismissing them explained | I |
That the Friday evening following unless indeed it rained | I |
Would be signalized by holding in the schoolhouse a debate | C |
Free to all who their opinions might desire to ventilate | C |
On the question 'Which is better as a serviceable gift | J |
Speech or hearing from barbarity the human mind to lift ' | - |
The pupils told their fathers who forehanded always met | K |
At the barroom to discuss it every evening dry or wet | K |
They argued it and argued it and spat upon the stove | L |
And the non committal 'barkeep' on their differences throve | L |
And I state it as a maxim in a loosish kind of way | M |
You'll have the more to back your word the less you have to say | M |
Public interest was lively but one Ebenezer Fink | N |
Of the Rancho del Jackrabbit only seemed to sit and think | N |
- | |
On the memorable evening all the men of Muscatel | B |
Came to listen to the logic and the eloquence as well | B |
All but William Perry Peters whose attendance there I fear | O |
Was to wreak his ready rhetoric upon the public ear | P |
And prove whichever side he took that hearing wouldn't lift | J |
The human mind as ably as the other greater gift | J |
The judges being chosen and the disputants enrolled | H |
The question he proceeded in extenso to unfold | H |
' Resolved The sense of hearing lifts the mind up out of reach | Q |
Of the fogs of error better than the faculty of speech ' | - |
This simple proposition he expounded word by word | R |
Until they best understood it who least perfectly had heard | R |
Even the judges comprehended as he ventured to explain | S |
The impact of a spit ball admonishing in vain | S |
Beginning at a period before Creation's morn | T |
He had reached the bounds of tolerance and Adam yet unborn | T |
As down the early centuries of pre historic time | U |
He tracked important principles and quoted striking rhyme | U |
And Whisky Bill prosaic soul proclaiming him a jay | M |
Had risen and like an earthquake 'reeled unheededly away ' | - |
And a late lamented cat when opportunity should serve | V |
Was preparing to embark upon her parabolic curve | V |
A noise arose outside the door was opened with a bang | W |
And old Ebenezer Fink was heard ejaculating 'G'lang ' | - |
Straight into that assembly gravely marched without a wink | N |
An ancient ass the property it was of Mr Fink | N |
Its ears depressed and beating time to its infestive tread | X |
Silent through silence moved amain that stately quadruped | X |
It stopped before the orator and in the lamplight thrown | Y |
Upon its tail they saw that member weighted with a stone | Y |
Then spake old Ebenezer 'Gents I heern o' this debate | X |
On w'ether v'ice or y'ears is best the mind to elevate | X |
Now 'yer's a bird ken throw some light uponto that tough theme | Z |
He has 'em both I'm free to say oncommonly extreme | Z |
He wa'n't invited for to speak but he will not refuse | A2 |
If t'other gentleman ken wait to exposay his views ' | - |
- | |
Ere merriment or anger o'er amazement could prevail | B |
He cut the string that held the stone on that canary's tail | B |
Freed from the weight that member made a gesture of delight | X |
Then rose until its rigid length was horizontal quite | X |
With lifted head and level ears along his withers laid | X |
Jack sighed refilled his lungs and then to put it mildly brayed | X |
He brayed until the stones were stirred in circumjacent hills | B2 |
And sleeping women rose and fled in divers kinds of frills | B2 |
'T is said that awful bugle blast to make the story brief | G |
Wafted William Perry Peters through the window like a leaf | G |
- | |
Such is the tale If anything additional occurred | X |
'Tis not set down though truly I remember to have heard | X |
That a gentleman named Peters now residing at Soquel | B |
A considerable distance from the town of Muscatel | B |
Is opposed to education and to rhetoric as well | B |
Ambrose Bierce
(1)
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