They'll None Of 'em Be Missed Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis


As some day it may happen that a victim must be foundA
I've got a little list I've got a little listB
Of social offenders who might well be undergroundA
And who never would be missed who never would be missedB
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographsC
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughsC
All children who are up in dates and floor you with 'em flatD
All persons who in shaking hands shake hands with you like THATD
And all third persons who on spoiling TETE E TETES insistB
They'd none of 'em be missed they'd none of 'em be missedB
There's the nigger serenader and the others of his raceE
And the piano organist I've got him on the listB
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your faceE
They never would be missed they never would be missedB
Then the idiot who praises with enthusiastic toneF
All centuries but this and every country but his ownF
And the lady from the provinces who dresses like a guyG
And who doesn't think she waltzes but would rather like to tryG
And that FIN DE SIECLE anomaly the scorching motoristB
I don't think he'd be missed I'm SURE he'd not be missedB
And that NISI PRIUS nuisance who just now is rather rifeH
The Judicial humorist I've got HIM on the listB
All funny fellows comic men and clowns of private lifeH
They'd none of 'em be missed they'd none of 'em be missedB
And apologetic statesmen of the compromising kindI
Such as What d'ye call him Thing'em Bob and likewise NeverJ
And 'St 'st 'st and What's his name and also You know whoK
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to YOUK
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the listB
For they'd none of 'em be missed they'd none of 'em be missedB

William Schwenck Gilbert


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