The Reverend Simon Magus Poem Rhyme Scheme

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A rich advowson highly prized	A
For private sale was advertised	A
And many a parson made a bid	B
The REVEREND SIMON MAGUS did	B
	-
He sought the agent's Agent I	C
Have come prepared at once to buy	C
If your demand is not too big	D
The Cure of Otium cum Digge	D
	-
Ah said the agent THERE'S a berth	E
The snuggest vicarage on earth	E
No sort of duty so I hear	F
And fifteen hundred pounds a year	G
	-
If on the price we should agree	H
The living soon will vacant be	H
The good incumbent's ninety five	I
And cannot very long survive	I
	-
See here's his photograph you see	H
He's in his dotage Ah dear me	H
Poor soul said SIMON His decease	J
Would be a merciful release	J
	-
The agent laughed the agent blinked	K
The agent blew his nose and winked	K
And poked the parson's ribs in play	L
It was that agent's vulgar way	L
	-
The REVEREND SIMON frowned I grieve	M
This light demeanour to perceive	M
It's scarcely COMME IL FAUT I think	D
Now pray oblige me do not wink	D
	-
Don't dig my waistcoat into holes	N
Your mission is to sell the souls	N
Of human sheep and human kids	O
To that divine who highest bids	O
	-
Do well in this and on your head	P
Unnumbered honours will be shed	P
The agent said Well truth to tell	Q
I HAVE been doing very well	Q
	-
You should said SIMON at your age	R
But now about the parsonage	S
How many rooms does it contain	T
Show me the photograph again	U
	-
A poor apostle's humble house	V
Must not be too luxurious	W
No stately halls with oaken floor	X
It should be decent and no more	X
	-
No billiard rooms no stately trees	Y
No croquet grounds or pineries	Y
Ah sighed the agent very true	Z
This property won't do for you	Z
	-
All these about the house you'll find	A2
Well said the parson never mind	A2
I'll manage to submit to these	Y
Luxurious superfluities	Y
	-
A clergyman who does not shirk	D
The various calls of Christian work	D
Will have no leisure to employ	B2
These 'common forms' of worldly joy	B2
	-
To preach three times on Sabbath days	Y
To wean the lost from wicked ways	Y
The sick to soothe the sane to wed	P
The poor to feed with meat and bread	P
	-
These are the various wholesome ways	Y
In which I'll spend my nights and days	Y
My zeal will have no time to cool	C2
At croquet archery or pool	C2
	-
The agent said From what I hear	F
This living will not suit I fear	G
There are no poor no sick at all	D2
For services there is no call	D2
	-
The reverend gent looked grave Dear me	H
Then there is NO 'society'	P
I mean of course no sinners there	E2
Whose souls will be my special care	E2
	-
The cunning agent shook his head	P
No none except the agent said	P
The DUKE OF A the EARL OF B	H
The MARQUIS C and VISCOUNT D	H
	-
But you will not be quite alone	F2
For though they've chaplains of their own	F2
Of course this noble well bred clan	G2
Receive the parish clergyman	H2
	-
Oh silence sir said SIMON M	I2
Dukes Earls What should I care for them	I2
These worldly ranks I scorn and flout	P
Of course the agent said no doubt	P
	-
Yet I might show these men of birth	E
The hollowness of rank on earth	E
The agent answered Very true	Z
But I should not if I were you	Z
	-
Who sells this rich advowson pray	L
The agent winked it was his way	L
His name is HART 'twixt me and you	Z
He is I'm grieved to say a Jew	Z
	-
A Jew said SIMON happy find	P
I purchase this advowson mind	P
My life shall be devoted to	Z
Converting that unhappy Jew	Z

William Schwenck Gilbert

The Reverend Simon Magus Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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