The Haughty Actor Poem Rhyme Scheme

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AN actor GIBBS of Drury Lane	A
Of very decent station	B
Once happened in a part to gain	A
Excessive approbation	B
It sometimes turns a fellow's brain	A
And makes him singularly vain	A
When he believes that he receives	C
Tremendous approbation	B
	-
His great success half drove him mad	D
But no one seemed to mind him	E
Well in another piece he had	D
Another part assigned him	E
This part was smaller by a bit	F
Than that in which he made a hit	F
So much ill used he straight refused	G
To play the part assigned him	E
	-
	-
	-
THAT NIGHT THAT ACTOR SLEPT AND I'LL ATTEMPT	H
TO TELL YOU OF THE VIVID DREAM HE DREAMT	I
	-
	-
THE DREAM	J
	-
	-
In fighting with a robber band	K
A thing he loved sincerely	L
A sword struck GIBBS upon the hand	K
And wounded it severely	L
At first he didn't heed it much	M
He thought it was a simple touch	M
But soon he found the weapon's bound	N
Had wounded him severely	L
	-
To Surgeon COBB he made a trip	O
Who'd just effected featly	L
An amputation at the hip	O
Particularly neatly	L
A rising man was Surgeon COBB	P
But this extremely ticklish job	P
He had achieved as he believed	Q
Particularly neatly	L
	-
The actor rang the surgeon's bell	L
Observe my wounded finger	R
Be good enough to strap it well	L
And prithee do not linger	R
That I dear sir may fill again	S
The Theatre Royal Drury Lane	A
This very night I have to fight	T
So prithee do not linger	R
	-
I don't strap fingers up for doles	U
Replied the haughty surgeon	B
To use your cant I don't play ROLES	U
Utility that verge on	V
First amputation nothing less	W
That is my line of business	X
We surgeon nobs despise all jobs	Y
Utility that verge on	V
	-
When in your hip there lurks disease	Z
So dreamt this lively dreamer	R
Or devastating CARIES	Z
In HUMERUS or FEMUR	R
If you can pay a handsome fee	L
Oh then you may remember me	L
With joy elate I'll amputate	A2
Your HUMERUS or FEMUR	R
	-
The disconcerted actor ceased	B2
The haughty leech to pester	R
But when the wound in size increased	B2
And then began to fester	R
He sought a learned Counsel's lair	C2
And told that Counsel then and there	C2
How COBB'S neglect of his defect	D2
Had made his finger fester	R
	-
Oh bring my action if you please	Z
The case I pray you urge on	V
And win me thumping damages	Z
From COBB that haughty surgeon	B
He culpably neglected me	L
Although I proffered him his fee	L
So pray come down in wig and gown	E2
On COBB that haughty surgeon	B
	-
That Counsel learned in the laws	Z
With passion almost trembled	F2
He just had gained a mighty cause	Z
Before the Peers assembled	F2
Said he How dare you have the face	Z
To come with Common Jury case	Z
To one who wings rhetoric flings	Z
Before the Peers assembled	F2
	-
Dispirited became our friend	G2
Depressed his moral pecker	R
But stay a thought I'll gain my end	G2
And save my poor exchequer	R
I won't be placed upon the shelf	H2
I'll take it into Court myself	H2
And legal lore display before	R
The Court of the Exchequer	R
	-
He found a Baron one of those	Z
Who with our laws supply us	Z
In wig and silken gown and hose	Z
As if at NISI PRIUS	Z
But he'd just given off the reel	L
A famous judgment on Appeal	L
It scarce became his heightened fame	I2
To sit at NISI PRIUS	Z
	-
Our friend began with easy wit	F
That half concealed his terror	R
Pooh said the Judge I only sit	F
In BANCO or in Error	R
Can you suppose my man that I'd	J2
O'er NISI PRIUS Courts preside	J2
Or condescend my time to spend	G2
On anything but Error	R
	-
Too bad said GIBBS my case to shirk	K2
You must be bad innately	L
To save your skill for mighty work	K2
Because it's valued greatly	L
But here he woke with sudden start	L2
	-
	-
	-
He wrote to say he'd play the part	L2
I've but to tell he played it well	L
The author's words his native wit	F
Combined achieved a perfect hit	F
The papers praised him greatly	L

William Schwenck Gilbert

The Haughty Actor Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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