Phrenology Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABAB CDCD EFEF CGCG HIHI JIJI IIII IKIK LMLM ININ OIOI PIPI QIQI RSR RTRT UIUI IIII VIVI WXWX MIMI GYGU MIMICOME collar this bad man | A |
Around the throat he knotted me | B |
Till I to choke began | A |
In point of fact garotted me | B |
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So spake SIR HERBERT WRITE | C |
To JAMES Policeman Thirty two | D |
All ruffled with his fight | C |
SIR HERBERT was and dirty too | D |
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Policeman nothing said | E |
Though he had much to say on it | F |
But from the bad man's head | E |
He took the cap that lay on it | F |
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No great SIR HERBERT WHITE | C |
Impossible to take him up | G |
This man is honest quite | C |
Wherever did you rake him up | G |
- | |
For Burglars Thieves and Co | H |
Indeed I'm no apologist | I |
But I some years ago | H |
Assisted a Phrenologist | I |
- | |
Observe his various bumps | J |
His head as I uncover it | I |
His morals lie in lumps | J |
All round about and over it | I |
- | |
Now take him said SIR WHITE | I |
Or you will soon be rueing it | I |
Bless me I must be right | I |
I caught the fellow doing it | I |
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Policeman calmly smiled | I |
Indeed you are mistaken sir | K |
You're agitated riled | I |
And very badly shaken sir | K |
- | |
Sit down and I'll explain | L |
My system of Phrenology | M |
A second please remain | L |
A second is horology | M |
- | |
Policeman left his beat | I |
The Bart no longer furious | N |
Sat down upon a seat | I |
Observing This is curious | N |
- | |
Oh surely here are signs | O |
Should soften your rigidity | I |
This gentleman combines | O |
Politeness with timidity | I |
- | |
Of Shyness here's a lump | P |
A hole for Animosity | I |
And like my fist his bump | P |
Of Impecuniosity | I |
- | |
Just here the bump appears | Q |
Of Innocent Hilarity | I |
And just behind his ears | Q |
Are Faith and Hope and Charity | I |
- | |
He of true Christian ways | R |
As bright example sent us is | S |
This maxim he obeys | R |
'SORTE TUA CONTENTUS SIS ' | - |
- | |
There let him go his ways | R |
He needs no stern admonishing | T |
The Bart in blank amaze | R |
Exclaimed This is astonishing | T |
- | |
I MUST have made a mull | U |
This matter I've been blind in it | I |
Examine please MY skull | U |
And tell me what you find in it | I |
- | |
That Crusher looked and said | I |
With unimpaired urbanity | I |
SIR HERBERT you've a head | I |
That teems with inhumanity | I |
- | |
Here's Murder Envy Strife | V |
Propensity to kill any | I |
And Lies as large as life | V |
And heaps of Social Villany | I |
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Here's Love of Brand New Clothes | W |
Embezzling Arson Deism | X |
A taste for Slang and Oaths | W |
And Fraudulent Trusteeism | X |
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Here's Love of Groundless Charge | M |
Here's Malice too and Trickery | I |
Unusually large | M |
Your bump of Pocket Pickery | I |
- | |
Stop said the Bart my cup | G |
Is full I'm worse than him in all | Y |
Policeman take me up | G |
No doubt I am some criminal | U |
- | |
That Pleeceman's scorn grew large | M |
Phrenology had nettled it | I |
He took that Bart in charge | M |
I don't know how they settled it | I |
William Schwenck Gilbert
(1)
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