Phrenology Poem Rhyme Scheme

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COME collar this bad man	A
Around the throat he knotted me	B
Till I to choke began	A
In point of fact garotted me	B
	-
So spake SIR HERBERT WRITE	C
To JAMES Policeman Thirty two	D
All ruffled with his fight	C
SIR HERBERT was and dirty too	D
	-
Policeman nothing said	E
Though he had much to say on it	F
But from the bad man's head	E
He took the cap that lay on it	F
	-
No great SIR HERBERT WHITE	C
Impossible to take him up	G
This man is honest quite	C
Wherever did you rake him up	G
	-
For Burglars Thieves and Co	H
Indeed I'm no apologist	I
But I some years ago	H
Assisted a Phrenologist	I
	-
Observe his various bumps	J
His head as I uncover it	I
His morals lie in lumps	J
All round about and over it	I
	-
Now take him said SIR WHITE	I
Or you will soon be rueing it	I
Bless me I must be right	I
I caught the fellow doing it	I
	-
Policeman calmly smiled	I
Indeed you are mistaken sir	K
You're agitated riled	I
And very badly shaken sir	K
	-
Sit down and I'll explain	L
My system of Phrenology	M
A second please remain	L
A second is horology	M
	-
Policeman left his beat	I
The Bart no longer furious	N
Sat down upon a seat	I
Observing This is curious	N
	-
Oh surely here are signs	O
Should soften your rigidity	I
This gentleman combines	O
Politeness with timidity	I
	-
Of Shyness here's a lump	P
A hole for Animosity	I
And like my fist his bump	P
Of Impecuniosity	I
	-
Just here the bump appears	Q
Of Innocent Hilarity	I
And just behind his ears	Q
Are Faith and Hope and Charity	I
	-
He of true Christian ways	R
As bright example sent us is	S
This maxim he obeys	R
'SORTE TUA CONTENTUS SIS '	-
	-
There let him go his ways	R
He needs no stern admonishing	T
The Bart in blank amaze	R
Exclaimed This is astonishing	T
	-
I MUST have made a mull	U
This matter I've been blind in it	I
Examine please MY skull	U
And tell me what you find in it	I
	-
That Crusher looked and said	I
With unimpaired urbanity	I
SIR HERBERT you've a head	I
That teems with inhumanity	I
	-
Here's Murder Envy Strife	V
Propensity to kill any	I
And Lies as large as life	V
And heaps of Social Villany	I
	-
Here's Love of Brand New Clothes	W
Embezzling Arson Deism	X
A taste for Slang and Oaths	W
And Fraudulent Trusteeism	X
	-
Here's Love of Groundless Charge	M
Here's Malice too and Trickery	I
Unusually large	M
Your bump of Pocket Pickery	I
	-
Stop said the Bart my cup	G
Is full I'm worse than him in all	Y
Policeman take me up	G
No doubt I am some criminal	U
	-
That Pleeceman's scorn grew large	M
Phrenology had nettled it	I
He took that Bart in charge	M
I don't know how they settled it	I

William Schwenck Gilbert

Phrenology Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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