Etiquette. {1} Poem Rhyme Scheme

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The Ballyshannon foundered off the coast of Cariboo	A
And down in fathoms many went the captain and the crew	B
Down went the owners greedy men whom hope of gain allured	C
Oh dry the starting tear for they were heavily insured	C
	-
Besides the captain and the mate the owners and the crew	B
The passengers were also drowned excepting only two	B
Young Peter GRAY who tasted teas for BAKER CROOP AND CO	D
And SOMERS who from Eastern shores imported indigo	D
	-
These passengers by reason of their clinging to a mast	E
Upon a desert island were eventually cast	E
They hunted for their meals as ALEXANDER SELKIRK used	F
But they couldn't chat together they had not been introduced	G
	-
For Peter GRAY and SOMERS too though certainly in trade	H
Were properly particular about the friends they made	H
And somehow thus they settled it without a word of mouth	I
That GRAY should take the northern half while SOMERS took the south	I
	-
On Peter'S portion oysters grew a delicacy rare	J
But oysters were a delicacy Peter couldn't bear	J
On SOMERS' side was turtle on the shingle lying thick	K
Which SOMERS couldn't eat because it always made him sick	K
	-
GRAY gnashed his teeth with envy as he saw a mighty store	L
Of turtle unmolested on his fellow creature's shore	L
The oysters at his feet aside impatiently he shoved	M
For turtle and his mother were the only things he loved	M
	-
And SOMERS sighed in sorrow as he settled in the south	I
For the thought of Peter'S oysters brought the water to his mouth	I
He longed to lay him down upon the shelly bed and stuff	N
He had often eaten oysters but had never had enough	N
	-
How they wished an introduction to each other they had had	O
When on board the Ballyshannon And it drove them nearly mad	O
To think how very friendly with each other they might get	P
If it wasn't for the arbitrary rule of etiquette	Q
	-
One day when out a hunting for the mus ridiculus	R
GRAY overheard his fellow man soliloquizing thus	R
I wonder how the playmates of my youth are getting on	S
M'CONNELL S B WALTERS PADDY BYLES and ROBINSON	T
	-
These simple words made Peter as delighted as could be	A
Old chummies at the Charterhouse were ROBINSON and he	A
He walked straight up to SOMERS then he turned extremely red	U
Hesitated hummed and hawed a bit then cleared his throat and said	U
	-
I beg your pardon pray forgive me if I seem too bold	V
But you have breathed a name I knew familiarly of old	V
You spoke aloud of ROBINSON I happened to be by	A
You know him Yes extremely well Allow me so do I	A
	-
It was enough they felt they could more pleasantly get on	S
For ah the magic of the fact they each knew ROBINSON	T
And Mr SOMERS' turtle was at Peter'S service quite	W
And Mr SOMERS punished Peter'S oyster beds all night	W
	-
They soon became like brothers from community of wrongs	R
They wrote each other little odes and sang each other songs	R
They told each other anecdotes disparaging their wives	R
On several occasions too they saved each other's lives	R
	-
They felt quite melancholy when they parted for the night	W
And got up in the morning soon as ever it was light	W
Each other's pleasant company they reckoned so upon	S
And all because it happened that they both knew ROBINSON	T
	-
They lived for many years on that inhospitable shore	L
And day by day they learned to love each other more and more	L
At last to their astonishment on getting up one day	X
They saw a frigate anchored in the offing of the bay	X
	-
To Peter an idea occurred Suppose we cross the main	Y
So good an opportunity may not be found again	Z
And SOMERS thought a minute then ejaculated Done	T
I wonder how my business in the City's getting on	S
	-
But stay said Mr Peter when in England as you know	D
I earned a living tasting teas for BAKER CROOP AND CO	D
I may be superseded my employers think me dead	U
Then come with me said SOMERS and taste indigo instead	U
	-
But all their plans were scattered in a moment when they found	A2
The vessel was a convict ship from Portland outward bound	A2
When a boat came off to fetch them though they felt it very kind	B2
To go on board they firmly but respectfully declined	B2
	-
As both the happy settlers roared with laughter at the joke	C2
They recognized a gentlemanly fellow pulling stroke	C2
'Twas ROBINSON a convict in an unbecoming frock	D2
Condemned to seven years for misappropriating stock	D2
	-
They laughed no more for SOMERS thought he had been rather rash	E2
In knowing one whose friend had misappropriated cash	E2
And Peter thought a foolish tack he must have gone upon	S
In making the acquaintance of a friend of ROBINSON	T
	-
At first they didn't quarrel very openly I've heard	F2
They nodded when they met and now and then exchanged a word	F2
The word grew rare and rarer still the nodding of the head	U
And when they meet each other now they cut each other dead	U
	-
To allocate the island they agreed by word of mouth	I
And Peter takes the north again and SOMERS takes the south	I
And Peter has the oysters which he hates in layers thick	K
And SOMERS has the turtle turtle always makes him sick	K

William Schwenck Gilbert

Etiquette. {1} Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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