Baines Carew, Gentleman Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGD ICJC AKAK ALAL MAMA NHNO PCPC QAQA RSRS FTFT UDU ACAC VWXW D DY ZAZA UTUT A2 A2B2 RC2RC2 HCDC MD2MD2Of all the good attorneys who | A |
Have placed their names upon the roll | B |
But few could equal BAINES CAREW | A |
For tender heartedness and soul | B |
- | |
Whene'er he heard a tale of woe | C |
From client A or client B | D |
His grief would overcome him so | C |
He'd scarce have strength to take his fee | D |
- | |
It laid him up for many days | E |
When duty led him to distrain | F |
And serving writs although it pays | E |
Gave him excruciating pain | F |
- | |
He made out costs distrained for rent | G |
Foreclosed and sued with moistened eye | H |
No bill of costs could represent | G |
The value of such sympathy | D |
- | |
No charges can approximate | I |
The worth of sympathy with woe | C |
Although I think I ought to state | J |
He did his best to make them so | C |
- | |
Of all the many clients who | A |
Had mustered round his legal flag | K |
No single client of the crew | A |
Was half so dear as CAPTAIN BAGG | K |
- | |
Now CAPTAIN BAGG had bowed him to | A |
A heavy matrimonial yoke | L |
His wifey had of faults a few | A |
She never could resist a joke | L |
- | |
Her chaff at first he meekly bore | M |
Till unendurable it grew | A |
To stop this persecution sore | M |
I will consult my friend CAREW | A |
- | |
And when CAREW'S advice I've got | N |
Divorce a mensa I shall try | H |
A legal separation not | N |
A vinculo conjugii | O |
- | |
Oh BAINES CAREW my woe I've kept | P |
A secret hitherto you know | C |
And BAINES CAREW ESQUIRE he wept | P |
To hear that BAGG HAD any woe | C |
- | |
My case indeed is passing sad | Q |
My wife whom I considered true | A |
With brutal conduct drives me mad | Q |
I am appalled said BAINES CAREW | A |
- | |
What sound the matrimonial knell | R |
Of worthy people such as these | S |
Why was I an attorney Well | R |
Go on to the saevitia please | S |
- | |
Domestic bliss has proved my bane | F |
A harder case you never heard | T |
My wife in other matters sane | F |
Pretends that I'm a Dicky bird | T |
- | |
She makes me sing 'Too whit too wee ' | - |
And stand upon a rounded stick | U |
And always introduces me | D |
To every one as 'Pretty Dick' | U |
- | |
Oh dear said weeping BAINES CAREW | A |
This is the direst case I know | C |
I'm grieved said BAGG at paining you | A |
To COBB and POLTHERTHWAITE I'll go | C |
- | |
To COBB'S cold calculating ear | V |
My gruesome sorrows I'll impart | W |
No stop said BAINES I'll dry my tear | X |
And steel my sympathetic heart | W |
- | |
She makes me perch upon a tree | D |
Rewarding me with 'Sweety nice ' | - |
And threatens to exhibit me | D |
With four or five performing mice | Y |
- | |
Restrain my tears I wish I could | Z |
Said BAINES I don't know what to do | A |
Said CAPTAIN BAGG You're very good | Z |
Oh not at all said BAINES CAREW | A |
- | |
She makes me fire a gun said BAGG | U |
And at a preconcerted word | T |
Climb up a ladder with a flag | U |
Like any street performing bird | T |
- | |
She places sugar in my way | A2 |
In public places calls me 'Sweet ' | - |
She gives me groundsel every day | A2 |
And hard canary seed to eat | B2 |
- | |
Oh woe oh sad oh dire to tell | R |
Said BAINES Be good enough to stop | C2 |
And senseless on the floor he fell | R |
With unpremeditated flop | C2 |
- | |
Said CAPTAIN BAGG Well really I | H |
Am grieved to think it pains you so | C |
I thank you for your sympathy | D |
But hang it come I say you know | C |
- | |
But BAINES lay flat upon the floor | M |
Convulsed with sympathetic sob | D2 |
The Captain toddled off next door | M |
And gave the case to MR COBB | D2 |
William Schwenck Gilbert
(1)
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