Baines Carew, Gentleman Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Of all the good attorneys who	A
Have placed their names upon the roll	B
But few could equal BAINES CAREW	A
For tender heartedness and soul	B
	-
Whene'er he heard a tale of woe	C
From client A or client B	D
His grief would overcome him so	C
He'd scarce have strength to take his fee	D
	-
It laid him up for many days	E
When duty led him to distrain	F
And serving writs although it pays	E
Gave him excruciating pain	F
	-
He made out costs distrained for rent	G
Foreclosed and sued with moistened eye	H
No bill of costs could represent	G
The value of such sympathy	D
	-
No charges can approximate	I
The worth of sympathy with woe	C
Although I think I ought to state	J
He did his best to make them so	C
	-
Of all the many clients who	A
Had mustered round his legal flag	K
No single client of the crew	A
Was half so dear as CAPTAIN BAGG	K
	-
Now CAPTAIN BAGG had bowed him to	A
A heavy matrimonial yoke	L
His wifey had of faults a few	A
She never could resist a joke	L
	-
Her chaff at first he meekly bore	M
Till unendurable it grew	A
To stop this persecution sore	M
I will consult my friend CAREW	A
	-
And when CAREW'S advice I've got	N
Divorce a mensa I shall try	H
A legal separation not	N
A vinculo conjugii	O
	-
Oh BAINES CAREW my woe I've kept	P
A secret hitherto you know	C
And BAINES CAREW ESQUIRE he wept	P
To hear that BAGG HAD any woe	C
	-
My case indeed is passing sad	Q
My wife whom I considered true	A
With brutal conduct drives me mad	Q
I am appalled said BAINES CAREW	A
	-
What sound the matrimonial knell	R
Of worthy people such as these	S
Why was I an attorney Well	R
Go on to the saevitia please	S
	-
Domestic bliss has proved my bane	F
A harder case you never heard	T
My wife in other matters sane	F
Pretends that I'm a Dicky bird	T
	-
She makes me sing 'Too whit too wee '	-
And stand upon a rounded stick	U
And always introduces me	D
To every one as 'Pretty Dick'	U
	-
Oh dear said weeping BAINES CAREW	A
This is the direst case I know	C
I'm grieved said BAGG at paining you	A
To COBB and POLTHERTHWAITE I'll go	C
	-
To COBB'S cold calculating ear	V
My gruesome sorrows I'll impart	W
No stop said BAINES I'll dry my tear	X
And steel my sympathetic heart	W
	-
She makes me perch upon a tree	D
Rewarding me with 'Sweety nice '	-
And threatens to exhibit me	D
With four or five performing mice	Y
	-
Restrain my tears I wish I could	Z
Said BAINES I don't know what to do	A
Said CAPTAIN BAGG You're very good	Z
Oh not at all said BAINES CAREW	A
	-
She makes me fire a gun said BAGG	U
And at a preconcerted word	T
Climb up a ladder with a flag	U
Like any street performing bird	T
	-
She places sugar in my way	A2
In public places calls me 'Sweet '	-
She gives me groundsel every day	A2
And hard canary seed to eat	B2
	-
Oh woe oh sad oh dire to tell	R
Said BAINES Be good enough to stop	C2
And senseless on the floor he fell	R
With unpremeditated flop	C2
	-
Said CAPTAIN BAGG Well really I	H
Am grieved to think it pains you so	C
I thank you for your sympathy	D
But hang it come I say you know	C
	-
But BAINES lay flat upon the floor	M
Convulsed with sympathetic sob	D2
The Captain toddled off next door	M
And gave the case to MR COBB	D2

William Schwenck Gilbert

Baines Carew, Gentleman Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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