A Discontented Sugar Broker Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABABCDEEB FGFGHHIIG BEBEJKLLE MEMENNMME OEOEPPQQE RPRPEERRP ESETPPUUT PEPEVVFFE WPWPFFXXP YZYZEEYYZ OEOEJJA2A2E B2JB2JJJEEJ C2 JD2JD2JJJJJJD2

A gentleman of City fameA
Now claims your kind attentionB
East India broking was his gameA
His name I shall not mentionB
No one of finely pointed senseC
Would violate a confidenceD
And shall I goE
And do it NoE
His name I shall not mentionB
-
He had a trusty wife and trueF
And very cosy quartersG
A manager a boy or twoF
Six clerks and seven portersG
A broker must be doing wellH
As any lunatic can tellH
Who can employI
An active boyI
Six clerks and seven portersG
-
His knocker advertised no dunB
No losses made him sulkyE
He had one sorrow only oneB
He was extremely bulkyE
A man must be I beg to stateJ
Exceptionally fortunateK
Who owns his chiefL
And only griefL
Is being very bulkyE
-
This load he'd say I cannot bearM
I'm nineteen stone or twentyE
Henceforward I'll go in for airM
And exercise in plentyE
Most people think that should it comeN
They can reduce a bulging tumN
To measures fairM
By taking airM
And exercise in plentyE
-
In every weather every dayO
Dry muddy wet or grittyE
He took to dancing all the wayO
From Brompton to the CityE
You do not often get the chanceP
Of seeing sugar brokers danceP
From their abodeQ
In Fulham RoadQ
Through Brompton to the CityE
-
He braved the gay and guileless laughR
Of children with their nussesP
The loud uneducated chaffR
Of clerks on omnibusesP
Against all minor things that rackE
A nicely balanced mind I'll backE
The noisy chaffR
And ill bred laughR
Of clerks on omnibusesP
-
His friends who heard his money chinkE
And saw the house he rentedS
And knew his wife could never thinkE
What made him discontentedT
It never entered their pure mindsP
That fads are of eccentric kindsP
Nor would they ownU
That fat aloneU
Could make one discontentedT
-
Your riches know no kind of pauseP
Your trade is fast advancingE
You dance but not for joy becauseP
You weep as you are dancingE
To dance implies that man is gladV
To weep implies that man is sadV
But here are youF
Who do the twoF
You weep as you are dancingE
-
His mania soon got noised aboutW
And into all the papersP
His size increased beyond a doubtW
For all his reckless capersP
It may seem singular to youF
But all his friends admit it trueF
The more he foundX
His figure roundX
The more he cut his capersP
-
His bulk increased no matter thatY
He tried the more to toss itZ
He never spoke of it as fatY
But adipose depositZ
Upon my word it seems to meE
Unpardonable vanityE
And worse than thatY
To call your fatY
An adipose depositZ
-
At length his brawny knees gave wayO
And on the carpet sinkingE
Upon his shapeless back he layO
And kicked away like winkingE
Instead of seeing in his stateJ
The finger of unswerving FateJ
He laboured stillA2
To work his willA2
And kicked away like winkingE
-
His friends disgusted with him nowB2
Away in silence wendedJ
I hardly like to tell you howB2
This dreadful story endedJ
The shocking sequel to impartJ
I must employ the limner's artJ
If you would knowE
This sketch will showE
How his exertions endedJ
-
MORALC2
-
I hate to preach I hate to prateJ
I'm no fanatic croakerD2
But learn contentment from the fateJ
Of this East India brokerD2
He'd everything a man of tasteJ
Could ever want except a waistJ
And discontentJ
His size anentJ
And bootless perseverance blindJ
Completely wrecked the peace of mindJ
Of this East India brokerD2

William Schwenck Gilbert



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