Tom Was Goin' For A Poet. Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: A BBCDD EEFGG HHIJJ KKKLL MMCNN OPCQQ RRBSS TTCUU JJKVV MMBHH

The Farmer Discourses of his SonA
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Tom was goin' for a poet an' said he'd a poet beB
One of these long haired fellers a feller hates to seeB
One of these chaps forever fixin' things cute and cleverC
Makin' the world in gen'ral step 'long to tune an' timeD
An' cuttin' the earth into slices an' saltin' it down into rhymeD
-
Poets are good for somethin' so long as they stand at the headE
But poetry's worth whatever it fetches in butter an' breadE
An' many a time I've said it it don't do a fellow creditF
To starve with a hole in his elbow an' be considered a foolG
So after he's dead the young ones 'll speak his pieces in schoolG
-
An' Tom he had an opinion that Shakspeare an' all the restH
With all their winter clothin' couldn't make him a decent vestH
But that didn't ease my labors or help him among the neighborsI
Who watched him from a distance an' held his mind in doubtJ
An' wondered if Tom wasn't shaky or knew what he was aboutJ
-
Tom he went a sowin' to sow a field of grainK
But half of that 'ere sowin' was altogether in vainK
For he was al'ays a stoppin' and gems of poetry droppin'K
And metaphors they be pleasant but much too thin to eatL
And germs of thought be handy but never grow up to wheatL
-
Tom he went a mowin' one broilin' summer's dayM
An' spoke quite sweet concernin' the smell of the new mowed hayM
But all o' his useless chatter didn't go to help the matterC
Or make the grief less searchin' or the pain less hard to feelN
When he made a clip too suddent an' sliced his brother's heelN
-
Tom he went a drivin' the hills an' dales acrossO
But scannin' the lines of his poetry he dropped the lines of his hossP
The nag ran fleet and fleeter in quite irregular metreC
An' when we got Tom's leg set an' had fixed him so he could speakQ
He muttered that that adventur' would keep him a writin' a weekQ
-
Tom he went a ploughin' and couldn't have done it worseR
He sat down on the handles an' went to spinnin' verseR
He wrote it nice and pretty an agricultural dittyB
But all o' his pesky measures didn't measure an acre moreS
Nor his p'ints didn't turn a furrow that wasn't turned beforeS
-
Tom he went a courtin' she liked him I supposeT
But certain parts of courtin' a feller must do in proseT
He rhymed her each day a letter but that didn't serve to get herC
He waited so long she married another man from spiteU
An' sent him word she'd done it an' not to forget to writeU
-
Tom at last got married his wife was smart and stoutJ
An' she shoved up the window and slung his poetry outJ
An' at each new poem's creation she gave it circulationK
An' fast as he would write 'em she seen to their puttin' forthV
An' sent 'em east an westward an' also south an' northV
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Till Tom he struck the opinion that poetry didn't payM
An' turned the guns of his genius an' fired 'em another wayM
He settled himself down steady an' is quite well off alreadyB
An' all of his life is verses with his wife the first an' bestH
An' ten or a dozen childr'n to constitute the restH

Will Carleton



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