The Editor's Guests Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFGGHHIIJK LMNN OOPPQQRRSSTTUUVVBB WWXXYYEEZZHH A2A2B2B2C2C2D2D2E2E2 HH F2F2G2G2H2H2I2I2J2J2 HH K2K2EEL2L2M2M2N2N2HH GGO2O2P2P2N2N2Q2Q2R2 R2H R2R2 R2R2 R2R2S2T2U2U2EED2D2V2 V2 W2W2 X2X2R2R2N2N2R2R2

The Editor sat in his sanctum his countenance furrowed with careA
His mind at the bottom of business his feet at the top of a chairA
His chair arm an elbow supporting his right hand upholding his headB
His eyes on his dusty old table with different documents spreadB
There were thirty long pages from Howler with underlined capitals toppedC
And a short disquisition from Growler requesting his newspaper stoppedC
There were lyrics from Gusher the poet concerning sweet flow'rets and zephyrsD
And a stray gem from Plodder the farmer describing a couple of heifersD
There were billets from beautiful maidens and bills from a grocer or twoE
And his best leader hitched to a letter which inquired if he wrote it or whoE
There were raptures of praises from writers of the weakly mellifluous schoolF
And one of his rival's last papers informing him he was a foolF
There were several long resolutions with names telling whom they were byG
Canonizing some harmless old brother who had done nothing worse than to dieG
There were traps on that table to catch him and serpents to sting and to smite himH
There were gift enterprises to sell him and bitters attempting to bite himH
There were long staring ads from the city and money with never a oneI
Which added Please give this insertion and send in your bill when you're doneI
There were letters from organizations their meetings their wants and their lawsJ
Which said Can you print this announcement for the good of our glorious causeK
There were tickets inviting his presence to festivals parties and showsL
Wrapped in notes with Please give us a notice demurely slipped in at the closeM
In short as his eye took the table and ran o'er its ink spattered trashN
There was nothing it did not encounter excepting perhaps it was cashN
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The Editor dreamily pondered on several ponderous thingsO
On different lines of action and the pulling of different stringsO
Upon some equivocal doings and some unequivocal dunsP
On how few of his numerous patrons were quietly prompt paying onesP
On friends who subscribed just to help him and wordy encouragement lentQ
And had given him plenty of counsel but never had paid him a centQ
On vinegar kind hearted people were feeding him every hourR
Who saw not the work they were doing but wondered that printers are sourR
On several intelligent townsmen whose kindness was so without stintS
That they kept an eye out on his business and told him just what he should printS
On men who had rendered him favors and never pushed forward their claimsT
So long as the paper was crowded with locals containing their namesT
On various other small matters sufficient his temper to roilU
And finely contrived to be making the blood of an editor boilU
And so one may see that his feelings could hardly be said to be smoothV
And he needed some pleasant occurrence his ruffled emotions to sootheV
He had it for lo on the threshold a slow and reliable treadB
And a farmer invaded the sanctum and these are the words that he saidB
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Good mornin' sir Mr Printer how is your body to dayW
I'm glad you're to home for you fellers is al'ays a runnin' awayW
Your paper last week wa'n't so spicy nor sharp as the one week beforeX
But I s'pose when the campaign is opened you'll be whoopin' it up to 'em moreX
That feller that's printin' The Smasher is goin' for you perty smartY
And our folks said this mornin' at breakfast they thought he was gettin' the startY
But I hushed 'em right up in a minute and said a good word for youE
I told 'em I b'lieved you was tryin' to do just as well as you knewE
And I told 'em that some one was sayin' and whoever 'twas it is soZ
That you can't expect much of no one man nor blame him for what he don't knowZ
But layin' aside pleasure for business I've brought you my little boy JimH
And I thought I would see if you couldn't make an editor outen of himH
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My family stock is increasin' while other folks' seems to run shortA2
I've got a right smart of a family it's one of the old fashioned sortA2
There's Ichabod Isaac and Israel a workin' away on the farmB2
They do 'bout as much as one good boy and make things go off like a charmB2
There's Moses and Aaron are sly ones and slip like a couple of eelsC2
But they're tol'able steady in one thing they al'ays git round to their mealsC2
There's Peter is busy inventin' though what he invents I can't seeD2
And Joseph is studyin' medicine and both of 'em boardin' with meD2
There's Abram and Albert is married each workin' my farm for myselfE2
And Sam smashed his nose at a shootin' and so he is laid on the shelfE2
The rest of the boys are all growin' 'cept this little runt which is JimH
And I thought that perhaps I'd be makin' an editor outen o' himH
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He ain't no great shakes for to labor though I've labored with him a good dealF2
And give him some strappin' good arguments I know he couldn't help but to feelF2
But he's built out of second growth timber and nothin' about him is bigG2
Exceptin' his appetite only and there he's as good as a pigG2
I keep him a carryin' luncheons and fillin' and bringin' the jugsH2
And take him among the pertatoes and set him to pickin' the bugsH2
And then there is things to be doin' a helpin' the women indoorsI2
There's churnin' and washin' of dishes and other descriptions of choresI2
But he don't take to nothin' but victuals and he'll never be much I'm afraidJ2
So I thought it would be a good notion to larn him the editor's tradeJ2
His body's too small for a farmer his judgment is rather too slimH
But I thought we perhaps could be makin' an editor outen o' himH
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It ain't much to get up a paper it wouldn't take him long for to learnK2
He could feed the machine I'm thinkin' with a good strappin' fellow to turnK2
And things that was once hard in doin' is easy enough now to doE
Just keep your eye on your machinery and crack your arrangements right throughE
I used for to wonder at readin' and where it was got up and howL2
But 'tis most of it made by machinery I can see it all plain enough nowL2
And poetry too is constructed by machines of different designsM2
Each one with a gauge and a chopper to see to the length of the linesM2
And I hear a New York clairvoyant is runnin' one sleeker than greaseN2
And a rentin' her heaven born productions at a couple of dollars apieceN2
An' since the whole trade has growed easy 'twould be easy enough I've a whimH
If you was agreed to be makin' an editor outen of JimH
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The Editor sat in his sanctum and looked the old man in the eyeG
Then glanced at the grinning young hopeful and mournfully made his replyG
Is your son a small unbound edition of Moses and Solomon bothO2
Can he compass his spirit with meekness and strangle a natural oathO2
Can he leave all his wrongs to the future and carry his heart in his cheekP2
Can he do an hour's work in a minute and live on a sixpence a weekP2
Can he courteously talk to an equal and browbeat an impudent dunceN2
Can he keep things in apple pie order and do half a dozen at onceN2
Can he press all the springs of knowledge with quick and reliable touchQ2
And be sure that he knows how much to know and knows how to not know too muchQ2
Does he know how to spur up his virtue and put a check rein on his prideR2
Can he carry a gentleman's manners within a rhinoceros' hideR2
Can he know all and do all and be all with cheerfulness courage and vimH
If so we perhaps can be makin an editor 'outen of him '-
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The farmer stood curiously listening while wonder his visage o'erspreadR2
And he said Jim I guess we'll be goin' he's probably out of his headR2
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But lo on the rickety stair case another reliable treadR2
And entered another old farmer and these are the words that he saidR2
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Good morning sir Mr Editor how is the folks to dayR2
I owe you for next year's paper I thought I'd come in and payR2
And Jones is agoin' to take it and this is his money hereS2
I shut down on lendin' it to him and coaxed him to try it a yearT2
And here is a few little items that happened last week in our townU2
I thought they'd look good for the paper and so I just jotted 'em downU2
And here is a basket of cherries my wife picked expressly for youE
And a small bunch of flowers from Jennie she thought she must send somethin' tooE
You're doin' the politics bully as all of our family agreeD2
Just keep your old goose quill a floppin' and give 'em a good one for meD2
And now you are chuck full of business and I won't be takin' your timeV2
I've things of my own I must 'tend to good day sir I b'lieve I will climbV2
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The Editor sat in his sanctum and brought down his fist with a thumpW2
God bless that old farmer he muttered he's a regular Editor's trumpW2
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And 'tis thus with our noble profession and thus it will ever be stillX2
There are some who appreciate its labors and some who perhaps never willX2
But in the great time that is coming when loudly the trumpet shall soundR2
And they who have labored and rested shall come from the quivering groundR2
When they who have striven and suffered to teach and ennoble the raceN2
Shall march at the front of the column each one in his God given placeN2
As they pass through the gates of The City with proud and victorious treadR2
The editor printer and devil will travel not far from the headR2

Will Carleton



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