To The Glasgow Magistrates Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A ABACDEFAAGHAIJKLMAAA NMOMPQRAMSMTMUMVUWOI XYZAUAA2B2EC2A2AUUAM A2PMPWAD2EAAE2AEAF2E G2F2H2E EEEOn their Proposal to Banish Barmaids | A |
- | |
May it please your Worships | A |
For years past Glasgow has stood in the forefront | B |
As a city given over to the small pox | A |
And magisterial reform | C |
It is I believe | D |
An exceedingly well managed city | E |
In fact it appears to be managed | F |
Out of all reasonable existence | A |
Hence no doubt it comes to pass | A |
That it was lately visited | G |
By a smart sample of the plague | H |
I have not the smallest doubt that your Worships | A |
Are sincere and clean thinking men | I |
I believe that you do what you do do so to speak | J |
Out of sheer public spirit | K |
And with a view to bettering the condition | L |
Of the city over which you preside | M |
In other words I impute no motives | A |
That is to say no base motives | A |
But my dear Worships | A |
Why in the name of Heaven would you abolish | N |
The harmless necessary barmaid | M |
Have you never been young | O |
Have you never known the tender delight | M |
Of whiling away a morning | P |
With your elbow on the zinc | Q |
And threepennyworth of Bass before you | R |
What may I ask your Worships | A |
Is Bass without a barmaid | M |
I grant that taking them all in all | S |
The barmaids of Scotland | M |
Are not what you might term | T |
An altogether bewitching lot | M |
Years ago when I was young and callow | U |
Fate threw me into the propinquity | M |
Of a lady of this ilk | V |
She hailed from Glasgow | U |
And she was not beautiful | W |
On the other hand I was young | O |
And out of an income which was even slenderer then | I |
Than it is now | X |
I purchased for that dear lady of the North | Y |
Many bottles of perfume | Z |
Many pairs of kid gloves | A |
And a Prayer Book or so | U |
And when I had consumed innumerable Basses | A |
At her altar | A2 |
And the time had as I thought become ripe | B2 |
I offered her matrimony | E |
To which she replied in limpid Doric | C2 |
Gang awa hame to yer mither | A2 |
That my dear Worships | A |
Is Glasgow | U |
If you can weed out of Glasgow | U |
All young females | A |
Possessed of this particular kind of temperament | M |
I am not so sure | A2 |
But that you would have my blessing | P |
On the other hand I am free to admit | M |
That I hae my doots as to your capacity for so doing | P |
The perfume bottle | W |
The kid gloves | A |
The Prayer Book | D2 |
And Na na na I winna | E |
Will always remain the prerogatives | A |
Of the Glasgae lassies | A |
If I know anything of them | E2 |
Also my dear Worships | A |
One thing is absolutely certain | E |
That if the magistrates of all the cities | A |
In the United Kingdom | F2 |
Would take the step you have taken | E |
We should have gone a very considerable way | G2 |
Towards solving the drink problem | F2 |
And putting Sir Michael Hicks Beach | H2 |
Into a fearful hole for money | E |
- | |
P S I hate Scotch men | E |
But I sometimes think that Scotch women | E |
Are rather bonnie | E |
Thomas William Hodgson Crosland
(1)
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