To The Common Golfer Poem Rhyme Scheme

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My dear Common Golfer	A
The game you affect	B
Is a great game	C
Played by yourself	D
And all the crowned heads of Europe	E
Not to mention all the fat persons who desire to bant	B
All the thin persons who desire to become	F
Vigorous and muscular as it were	A
All the clerks who desire to pass for dukes	G
And all the dukes who relish the society of clerks	H
It is a great game	C
The people who play it are not the fault of the game	C
It is also a good game	C
If I am not mistaken	I
It is a game that originally came out of Scotland	B
Therefore it must be a good game	C
For everything that comes out of Scotland is good	B
Even the Scot	B
And golf being a great and good game	C
I do not see any tremendous reason	I
Why you my dear Common Golfer	A
Should not engage in it if you so choose	J
On the other hand I wish from the bottom of my heart	B
That you did not engage in it	B
I know a bank	K
Whereon the wild thyme blows	L
Or ought to blow	M
Oft of a pleasant summer morn	N
Have I taken a cheap ticket	B
To a station which is not far from that bank	K
And there on the bank that is to say reclined me	O
What time I looked up into the blue dome	P
And watched the lazy pacing clouds	Q
And flicked away the midges	R
And wished my name was Corydon	N
And remembered bits of Keats	S
And bits of Herrick	T
And bits of business	U
And so forth	V
Oft I say have I done these things	W
But of late I no longer do them	X
Inasmuch as my bank	K
Has become if I may so term it	B
Golf ridden	N
The other day I repaired to the said bank	K
On rural musings bent	B
What did I find	B
Why my dear old thymy bank	K
Was in the possession	N
Of half a dozen gross fellows in red coats	Y
Thy had pipes in their mouths	Z
And a jar of beer in their midst	B
And they were actually talking and laughing	A2
In the most uproarious fashion	N
I heard one of them say	B2
Why did Arthur Bawl Fore	C2
And the others thought hard	B
And trifled with their brassies and things	W
And could not make answer	A
O my dear Common Golfer	A
You were of that party	O
You were	A
You are always of such parties	D2
You are always sitting	A2
On other people's thymy banks	E2
And saying Why did So and so so and so	M
And depleting village public houses of good beer	F2
And turning whole village populations into caddies	D2
And dotting the landscape with your red coats	Y
And generally appropriating the fair face of Nature	A
I cannot stop you my dear Common Golfer	A
I cannot O I cannot	B
Would that I could O would that I could	B
In which case perhaps I wouldn't	B
No my dear boy	G2
Rural England is yours	H2
Also the sea side	B
Take them old man take them	X
I hand them over to you with the best heart in the world	B
Take them they are yours	H2
And excuse these tears	I2

Thomas William Hodgson Crosland

To The Common Golfer Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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