To The Chancellor Of The Exchequer Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Before his Retirement	A
	-
My dear Sir Michael Hicks Beach	B
The devotion of one's life	C
To the service of the Muses	D
And the neglect of golden opportunities	E
Is not without its compensations	F
One of the chief of them being	G
That the devotee can look into the eyes	H
Of the most rapacious of Chancellors of the Exchequer	I
And smile	J
For my own part dear Sir Michael	K
By the writing of Odes	L
And general inattention to business	M
I am able to knock up a precarious one hundred and seventy five pounds per annum	N
On one hundred and sixty pounds of that sum	N
I am always careful to claim exemption	O
Which leaves a taxable balance of fifteen pounds	P
Out of this balance my dear old friend you are welcome to take fifteen shillings	Q
Or twenty three and fourpence ha'penny	R
Or twenty seven and sixpence farthing	G
Or any other sum that you think might come in handy	R
Indeed in all the circumstances	D
And without prejudice	S
I should not be greatly upset	T
If you took the lot	U
For well I wot	U
That the late War	V
Has cost more than the price of a row of houses	D
And that it is my duty as a full blooded patriot	U
To pay and pay cheerfully	R
And particularly so	W
Since it is not due for a month or so	W
Ah my dear Chancellor	I
Who fears Black Michael	K
Must himself be black	X
They call you Black because you want a lot of money	R
I call them black because they've got it	U
However this is not a Ruskinian oration	O
But an Ode	U
And I shall therefore proceed to give you a few tips	Y
As to legitimate methods of raising the wind	U
Judging by your recent efforts	Z
You appear to be short of ideas	D
Here you are	A2
Put sixpence a hundred on cigars	B2
See What You Save	C2
Will see me through somehow	D2
Besides I never smoke cigars	B2
Put a bit more on all sorts of wines and liqueurs	E2
Excepting Sauterne and Benedictine	F2
Of which I am particularly fond	U
Put a bit more on beer	G2
And sixpence a pound on arsenic	H2
As a rule I do not take either	I
Tax railway tickets	I2
I invariably travel on passes	D
Tax perambulators	D
My sons and heirs can all walk	J2
Tax sky signs	D
Like the Omar Khayyam Club	K2
I never advertise	D
Tax bicycles	D
I abhor exertion	O
Tax gold and gem jewellery	I
I never keep it	U
Tax fiction	O
And Fourth enormous editions	D
We shall then hear less about them	L2
Abolish the free breakfast table	K
I invariably begin the day with lunch	M2
Also tax ground rents	D
I am not the Duke of Bedford	U
And seize all the unclaimed bank balances	D
None of which by any possibility	R
Can be mine	N2
In fact my dear Sir Michael	K
Tax and seize whatever you like	O2
The opulent and the well to do	U
Not to mention the rascally working classes	D
Will have to put up with it	U

Thomas William Hodgson Crosland

To The Chancellor Of The Exchequer Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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