To The Chancellor Of The Exchequer Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: A BCDEFGHIJKLMNNOPQRGR DSTUUVDURWWIKXRUOUYU ZDA2B2C2D2B2E2F2UG2H 2II2DDJ2DK2DDOIUODL2 KM2DUDRN2KO2UDU

Before his RetirementA
-
My dear Sir Michael Hicks BeachB
The devotion of one's lifeC
To the service of the MusesD
And the neglect of golden opportunitiesE
Is not without its compensationsF
One of the chief of them beingG
That the devotee can look into the eyesH
Of the most rapacious of Chancellors of the ExchequerI
And smileJ
For my own part dear Sir MichaelK
By the writing of OdesL
And general inattention to businessM
I am able to knock up a precarious one hundred and seventy five pounds per annumN
On one hundred and sixty pounds of that sumN
I am always careful to claim exemptionO
Which leaves a taxable balance of fifteen poundsP
Out of this balance my dear old friend you are welcome to take fifteen shillingsQ
Or twenty three and fourpence ha'pennyR
Or twenty seven and sixpence farthingG
Or any other sum that you think might come in handyR
Indeed in all the circumstancesD
And without prejudiceS
I should not be greatly upsetT
If you took the lotU
For well I wotU
That the late WarV
Has cost more than the price of a row of housesD
And that it is my duty as a full blooded patriotU
To pay and pay cheerfullyR
And particularly soW
Since it is not due for a month or soW
Ah my dear ChancellorI
Who fears Black MichaelK
Must himself be blackX
They call you Black because you want a lot of moneyR
I call them black because they've got itU
However this is not a Ruskinian orationO
But an OdeU
And I shall therefore proceed to give you a few tipsY
As to legitimate methods of raising the windU
Judging by your recent effortsZ
You appear to be short of ideasD
Here you areA2
Put sixpence a hundred on cigarsB2
See What You SaveC2
Will see me through somehowD2
Besides I never smoke cigarsB2
Put a bit more on all sorts of wines and liqueursE2
Excepting Sauterne and BenedictineF2
Of which I am particularly fondU
Put a bit more on beerG2
And sixpence a pound on arsenicH2
As a rule I do not take eitherI
Tax railway ticketsI2
I invariably travel on passesD
Tax perambulatorsD
My sons and heirs can all walkJ2
Tax sky signsD
Like the Omar Khayyam ClubK2
I never advertiseD
Tax bicyclesD
I abhor exertionO
Tax gold and gem jewelleryI
I never keep itU
Tax fictionO
And Fourth enormous editionsD
We shall then hear less about themL2
Abolish the free breakfast tableK
I invariably begin the day with lunchM2
Also tax ground rentsD
I am not the Duke of BedfordU
And seize all the unclaimed bank balancesD
None of which by any possibilityR
Can be mineN2
In fact my dear Sir MichaelK
Tax and seize whatever you likeO2
The opulent and the well to doU
Not to mention the rascally working classesD
Will have to put up with itU

Thomas William Hodgson Crosland



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