To The Chancellor Of The Exchequer Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A BCDEFGHIJKLMNNOPQRGR DSTUUVDURWWIKXRUOUYU ZDA2B2C2D2B2E2F2UG2H 2II2DDJ2DK2DDOIUODL2 KM2DUDRN2KO2UDUBefore his Retirement | A |
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My dear Sir Michael Hicks Beach | B |
The devotion of one's life | C |
To the service of the Muses | D |
And the neglect of golden opportunities | E |
Is not without its compensations | F |
One of the chief of them being | G |
That the devotee can look into the eyes | H |
Of the most rapacious of Chancellors of the Exchequer | I |
And smile | J |
For my own part dear Sir Michael | K |
By the writing of Odes | L |
And general inattention to business | M |
I am able to knock up a precarious one hundred and seventy five pounds per annum | N |
On one hundred and sixty pounds of that sum | N |
I am always careful to claim exemption | O |
Which leaves a taxable balance of fifteen pounds | P |
Out of this balance my dear old friend you are welcome to take fifteen shillings | Q |
Or twenty three and fourpence ha'penny | R |
Or twenty seven and sixpence farthing | G |
Or any other sum that you think might come in handy | R |
Indeed in all the circumstances | D |
And without prejudice | S |
I should not be greatly upset | T |
If you took the lot | U |
For well I wot | U |
That the late War | V |
Has cost more than the price of a row of houses | D |
And that it is my duty as a full blooded patriot | U |
To pay and pay cheerfully | R |
And particularly so | W |
Since it is not due for a month or so | W |
Ah my dear Chancellor | I |
Who fears Black Michael | K |
Must himself be black | X |
They call you Black because you want a lot of money | R |
I call them black because they've got it | U |
However this is not a Ruskinian oration | O |
But an Ode | U |
And I shall therefore proceed to give you a few tips | Y |
As to legitimate methods of raising the wind | U |
Judging by your recent efforts | Z |
You appear to be short of ideas | D |
Here you are | A2 |
Put sixpence a hundred on cigars | B2 |
See What You Save | C2 |
Will see me through somehow | D2 |
Besides I never smoke cigars | B2 |
Put a bit more on all sorts of wines and liqueurs | E2 |
Excepting Sauterne and Benedictine | F2 |
Of which I am particularly fond | U |
Put a bit more on beer | G2 |
And sixpence a pound on arsenic | H2 |
As a rule I do not take either | I |
Tax railway tickets | I2 |
I invariably travel on passes | D |
Tax perambulators | D |
My sons and heirs can all walk | J2 |
Tax sky signs | D |
Like the Omar Khayyam Club | K2 |
I never advertise | D |
Tax bicycles | D |
I abhor exertion | O |
Tax gold and gem jewellery | I |
I never keep it | U |
Tax fiction | O |
And Fourth enormous editions | D |
We shall then hear less about them | L2 |
Abolish the free breakfast table | K |
I invariably begin the day with lunch | M2 |
Also tax ground rents | D |
I am not the Duke of Bedford | U |
And seize all the unclaimed bank balances | D |
None of which by any possibility | R |
Can be mine | N2 |
In fact my dear Sir Michael | K |
Tax and seize whatever you like | O2 |
The opulent and the well to do | U |
Not to mention the rascally working classes | D |
Will have to put up with it | U |
Thomas William Hodgson Crosland
(1)
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