Thoughts On Patrons, Puffs, And Other Matters. In An Epistle From Thomas Moore To Samuel Rogers Poem Rhyme Scheme

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What thou my friend a man of rhymes	A
And better still a man of guineas	B
To talk of patrons in these times	A
When authors thrive like spinning jennies	A
And Arkwright's twist and Bulwer's page	C
Alike may laugh at patronage	D
	-
No no those times are past away	E
When doomed in upper floors to star it	F
The bard inscribed to lords his lay	E
Himself the while my Lord Mountgarret	F
No more he begs with air dependent	F
His little bark may sail attendant	F
Under some lordly skipper's steerage	D
But launched triumphant in the Row	G
Or taken by Murray's self in tow	G
Cuts both Star Chamber and the peerage	D
	-
Patrons indeed when scarce a sail	H
Is whiskt from England by the gale	H
But bears on board some authors shipt	G
For foreign shores all well equipt	G
With proper book making machinery	I
To sketch the morals manners scenery	I
Of all such lands as they shall see	I
Or not see as the case may be	I
It being enjoined on all who go	G
To study first Miss Martineau	G
And learn from her the method true too	G
To do one's books and readers	A
For so this nymph of nous and nerve	J
Teaches mankind How to Observe	J
And lest mankind at all should swerve	J
Teaches them also What to Observe	J
	-
No no my friend it can't be blinkt	G
The Patron is a race extinct	G
As dead as any Megatherion	G
That ever Buckland built a theory on	G
Instead of bartering in this age	D
Our praise for pence and patronage	D
We authors now more prosperous elves	A
Have learned to patronize ourselves	A
And since all potent Puffing's made	G
The life of song the soul of trade	G
More frugal of our praises grown	G
We puff no merits but our own	G
	-
Unlike those feeble gales of praise	A
Which critics blew in former days	A
Our modern puffs are of a kind	G
That truly really raise the wind	G
And since they've fairly set in blowing	K
We find them the best trade winds going	K
'Stead of frequenting paths so slippy	L
As her old haunts near Aganippe	L
The Muse now taking to the till	M
Has opened shop on Ludgate Hill	M
Far handier than the Hill of Pindus	A
As seen from bard's back attic windows	A
And swallowing there without cessation	G
Large draughts at sight of inspiration	G
Touches the notes for each new theme	N
While still fresh change comes o'er her dream	N
	-
What Steam is on the deep and more	O
Is the vast power of Puff on shore	O
Which jumps to glory's future tenses	A
Before the present even commences	A
And makes immortal and divine of us	A
Before the world has read one line of us	A
In old times when the God of Song	P
Drove his own two horse team along	P
Carrying inside a bard or two	G
Bookt for posterity all thro'	O
Their luggage a few close packt rhymes	A
Like yours my friend for after times	A
So slow the pull to Fame's abode	G
That folks oft slept upon the road	G
And Homer's self sometimes they say	A
Took to his night cap on the way	A
Ye Gods how different is the story	O
With our new galloping sons of glory	O
Who scorning all such slack and slow time	Q
Dash to posterity in no time	Q
Raise but one general blast of Puff	R
To start your author that's enough	R
In vain the critics set to watch him	S
Try at the starting post to catch him	S
He's off the puffers carry it hollow	G
The critics if they please may follow	G
Ere they've laid down their first positions	A
He's fairly blown thro' six editions	A
In vain doth Edinburgh dispense	A
Her blue and yellow pestilence	A
That plague so awful in my time	Q
To young and touchy sons of rhyme	Q
The Quarterly at three months' date	G
To catch the Unread One comes too late	G
And nonsense littered in a hurry	O
Becomes immortal spite of Murray	O
But bless me while I thus keep fooling	K
I hear a voice cry Dinner's cooling	K
That postman too who truth to tell	T
'Mong men of letters bears the bell	T
Keeps ringing ringing so infernally	T
That I must stop	L
Yours sempiternally	T

Thomas Moore

Thoughts On Patrons, Puffs, And Other Matters. In An Epistle From Thomas Moore To Samuel Rogers Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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