New Hospital For Sick Literati Poem Rhyme Scheme

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With all humility we beg	A
To inform the public that Tom Tegg	A
Known for his spunky speculations	B
In buying up dead reputations	B
And by a mode of galvanizing	A
Which all must own is quite surprising	A
Making dead authors move again	C
As tho' they still were living men	C
All this too managed in a trice	D
By those two magic words Half Price	D
Which brings the charm so quick about	E
That worn out poets left without	E
A second foot whereon to stand	F
Are made to go at second hand	F
'Twill please the public we repeat	G
To learn that Tegg who works this feat	G
And therefore knows what care it needs	H
To keep alive Fame's invalids	I
Has oped an Hospital in town	J
For cases of knockt up renown	J
Falls fractures dangerous Epic fits	K
By some called Cantoes stabs from wits	K
And of all wounds for which they're nurst	G
Dead cuts from publishers the worst	G
All these and other such fatalities	L
That happen to frail immortalities	L
By Tegg are so expertly treated	G
That oft times when the cure's completed	G
The patient's made robust enough	M
To stand a few more rounds of puff	M
Till like the ghosts of Dante's lay	N
He's puft into thin air away	N
As titled poets being phenomenons	L
Don't like to mix with low and common 'uns	L
Tegg's Hospital has separate wards	L
Express for literary lords	L
Where prose peers of immoderate length	O
Are nurst when they've outgrown their strength	O
And poets whom their friends despair of	P
Are put to bed and taken care of	P
	-
Tegg begs to contradict a story	Q
Now current both with Whig and Tory	Q
That Doctor Warburton M P	Q
Well known for his antipathy	Q
His deadly hate good man to all	R
The race of poets great and small	R
So much that he's been heard to own	S
He would most willingly cut down	J
The holiest groves on Pindus' mount	G
To turn the timber to account	G
The story actually goes that he	Q
Prescribes at Tegg's Infirmary	Q
And oft not only stints for spite	G
The patients in their copy right	G
But that on being called in lately	Q
To two sick poets suffering greatly	Q
This vaticidal Doctor sent them	T
So strong a dose of Jeremy Bentham	T
That one of the poor bards but cried	G
Oh Jerry Jerry and then died	G
While t'other tho' less stuff was given	U
Is on his road 'tis feared to heaven	U
	-
Of this event howe'er unpleasant	G
Tegg means to say no more at present	G
Intending shortly to prepare	V
A statement of the whole affair	V
With full accounts at the same time	T
Of some late cases prose and rhyme	T
Subscribed with every author's name	T
That's now on the Sick List of Fame	T

Thomas Moore

New Hospital For Sick Literati Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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