Hat Versus Wig Poem Rhyme Scheme

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At the interment of the Duke of York Lord Eldon in order to guard against the effects of the damp stood upon his hat during the whole of the ceremony	A
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metus omnes et inexorabile fatum	B
subjecit pedibus strepitumque Acherontis	C
avari	D
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'Twixt Eldon's Hat and Eldon's Wig	E
There lately rose an altercation	F
Each with its own importance big	E
Disputing which most serves the nation	F
	-
Quoth Wig with consequential air	D
Pooh pooh you surely can't design	G
My worthy beaver to compare	D
Your station in the state with mine	G
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Who meets the learned legal crew	D
Who fronts the lordly Senate's pride	H
The Wig the Wig my friend while you	D
Hang dangling on some peg outside	H
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Oh 'tis the Wig that rules like Love	I
Senate and Court with like clat	H
And wards below and lords above	I
For Law is Wig and Wig is Law	J
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Who tried the long Long WELLESLEY suit	H
Which tried one's patience in return	K
Not thou oh Hat tho' couldst thou do't	H
Of other brims than thine thou'dst learn	K
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'Twas mine our master's toil to share	D
When like 'Truepenny ' in the play	L
He every minute cried out 'Swear '	-
And merrily to swear went they	L
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When loath poor WELLESLEY to condemn he	H
With nice discrimination weighed	H
Whether 'twas only 'Hell and Jemmy '	-
Or 'Hell and Tommy' that he played	H
	-
No no my worthy beaver no	M
Tho' cheapened at the cheapest hatter's	C
And smart enough as beavers go	M
Thou ne'er wert made for public matters	C
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Here Wig concluded his oration	F
Looking as wigs do wondrous wise	C
While thus full cockt for declamation	F
The veteran Hat enraged replies	C
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Ha dost thou then so soon forget	H
What thou what England owes to me	H
Ungrateful Wig when will a debt	H
So deep so vast be owed thee	H
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Think of that night that fearful night	H
When thro' the steaming vault below	M
Our master dared in gout's despite	H
To venture his podagric toe	M
	-
Who was it then thou boaster say	C
When thou hadst to thy box sneaked off	N
Beneath his feet protecting lay	C
And saved him from a mortal cough	O
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Think if Catarrh had quenched that sun	F
How blank this world had been to thee	H
Without that head to shine upon	F
Oh Wig where would thy glory be	H
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You too ye Britons had this hope	P
Of Church and State been ravisht from ye	H
Oh think how Canning and the Pope	P
Would then have played up 'Hell and Tommy'	H
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At sea there's but a plank they say	C
'Twixt seamen and annihilation	F
A Hat that awful moment lay	C
'Twixt England and Emancipation	F
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Oh	M
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At this Oh The Times Reporter	D
Was taken poorly and retired	H
Which made him cut Hat's rhetoric shorter	D
Than justice to the case required	H
	-
On his return he found these shocks	C
Of eloquence all ended quite	H
And Wig lay snoring in his box	C
And Hat was hung up for the night	H

Thomas Moore

Hat Versus Wig Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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