Cocker, On Church Reform Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A BBCCC DD EEDDFFGG DDDDHHCCII JJKLDDMMNN| FOUNDED UPON SOME LATE CALCULATIONS | A |
| - | |
| - | |
| Fine figures of speech let your orators follow | B |
| Old Cocker has figures that beat them all hollow | B |
| Tho' famed for his rules Aristotle may be | C |
| In but half of this Sage any merit I see | C |
| For as honest Joe Hume says the tottle for me | C |
| - | |
| For instance while others discuss and debate | D |
| It is thus about Bishops I ratiocinate | D |
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| In England where spite of the infidel's laughter | E |
| 'Tis certain our souls are lookt very well after | E |
| Two Bishops can well if judiciously sundered | D |
| Of parishes manage two thousand two hundred | D |
| Said number of parishes under said teachers | F |
| Containing three millions of Protestant creatures | F |
| So that each of said Bishops full ably controls | G |
| One million and five hundred thousands of souls | G |
| - | |
| And now comes old Cocker In Ireland we're told | D |
| Half a million includes the whole Protestant fold | D |
| If therefore for three million souls 'tis conceded | D |
| Two proper sized Bishops are all that is needed | D |
| 'Tis plain for the Irish half million who want 'em | H |
| One third of one Bishop is just the right quantum | H |
| And thus by old Cocker's sublime Rule of Three | C |
| The Irish Church question's resolved to a T | C |
| Keeping always that excellent maxim in view | I |
| That in saving men's souls we must save money too | I |
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| Nay if as St Roden complains is the case | J |
| The half million of soul is decreasing apace | J |
| The demand too for bishop will also fall off | K |
| Till the tithe of one taken in kind be enough | L |
| But as fractions imply that we'd have to dissect | D |
| And to cutting up Bishops I strongly object | D |
| We've a small fractious prelate whom well we could spare | M |
| Who has just the same decimal worth to a hair | M |
| And not to leave Ireland too much in the lurch | N |
| We'll let her have Exeter sole as her Church | N |
Thomas Moore
(1)
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