The China-mender Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCBBDDEEFFGGHHII JJKKLLBBBBMMBBNNBBJJ OOJJPPQQRRSTUUVVJJWW XXYYZA2| Good Morning Mr What d'ye call Well here's another pretty job | A |
| Lord help my Lady what a smash if you had only heard her sob | A |
| It was all through Mr Lambert but for certain he was winey | B |
| To think for to go to sit down on a table full of Chiney | B |
| Deuce take your stupid head says my Lady to his very face | C |
| But politeness you know is nothing when there's Chiney in the case | C |
| And if ever a woman was fond of Chiney to a passion | B |
| It's my mistress and all sorts of it whether new or old fashion | B |
| Her brother's a sea captain and brings her home shiploads | D |
| Such bronzes and such dragons and nasty squatting things like toads | D |
| And great nidnoddin' mandarins with palsies in the head | E |
| I declare I've often dreamt of them and had nightmares in my bed | E |
| But the frightfuller they are lawk she loves them all the better | F |
| She'd have Old Nick himself made of Chiney if they'd let her | F |
| Lawk a mercy break her Chiney and it's breaking her very heart | G |
| If I touched it she would very soon say Mary we must part | G |
| To be sure she is unlucky only Friday comes Master Randall | H |
| And breaks a broken spout and fresh chips a tea cup handle | H |
| He's a dear sweet little child but he will so finger and touch | I |
| And that's why my Lady doesn't take to children much | I |
| Well there's stupid Mr Lambert with his two greatcoat flaps | J |
| Must go and sit down on the Dresd'n shepherdesses' laps | J |
| As if there was no such things as rosewood chairs in the room | K |
| I couldn't have made a greater sweep with the handle of the broom | K |
| Mercy on us how my mistress began to rave and tear | L |
| Well after all there's nothing like good ironstone ware for wear | L |
| If ever I marry that's flat I'm sure it won't be John Dockery | B |
| I should be a wretched woman in a shop full of crockery | B |
| I should never like to wipe it though I love to be neat and tidy | B |
| And afraid of meat on market days every Monday and Friday | B |
| I'm very much mistook if Mr Lambert's will be a catch | M |
| The breaking the Chiney will be the breaking off of his own match | M |
| Missis wouldn't have an angel if he was careless about Chiney | B |
| She never forgives a chip if it's ever so small and tiny | B |
| Lawk I never saw a man in all my life in such a taking | N |
| I could find it in my heart to pity him for all his mischief making | N |
| To see him stand a hammering and stammering like a zany | B |
| But what signifies apologies if they won't mend old Chaney | B |
| If he sent her up whole crates full from Wedgwood's and Mr Spode's | J |
| He couldn't make amends for the crack'd mandarins and smash'd toads | J |
| Well every one has their tastes but for my part my own self | O |
| I'd rather have the figures on my poor dear grandmother's old shelf | O |
| A nice pea green poll parrot and two reapers with brown ears of corns | J |
| And a shepherd with a crook after a lamb with two gilt horns | J |
| And such a Jemmy Jessamy in top boots and sky blue vest | P |
| And a frill and flower'd waistcoat with a fine bow pot at the breast | P |
| God help her poor old soul I shall come into 'em at her death | Q |
| Though she's a hearty woman for her years except her shortness of breath | Q |
| Well you may think the things will mend if they won't Lord mend us all | R |
| My lady will go in fits and Mr Lambert won't need to call | R |
| I'll be bound in any money if I had a guinea to give | S |
| He won't sit down again on Chiney the longest day he has to live | T |
| Poor soul I only hope it won't forbid his banns of marriage | U |
| Or he'd better have sat behind on the spikes of my Lady's carriage | U |
| But you'll join 'em all of course and stand poor Mr Lambert's friend | V |
| I'll look in twice a day just to see like how they mend | V |
| To be sure it is a sight that might draw tears from dogs and cats | J |
| Here's this pretty little pagoda now has lost four of its cocked hats | J |
| Be particular with the pagoda and then here's this pretty bowl | W |
| The Chinese Prince is making love to nothing because of this hole | W |
| And here's another Chinese man with a face just like a doll | X |
| Do stick his pigtail on again and just mend his parasol | X |
| But I needn't tell you what to do only do it out of hand | Y |
| And charge whatever you like to charge my Lady won't make a stand | Y |
| Well good morning Mr What d'ye call for it's time our gossip ended | Z |
| And you know the proverb the less as is said the sooner the Chiney's mended | A2 |
Thomas Hood
(1)
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