Ode To W. Kitchener, M.d. Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Thomas Hood

Ode To W. Kitchener, M.d. Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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Author of	A
The Cook's Oracle Observations on Vocal Music The Art of Invigorating and Prolonging Life Practical Observations on Telescopes Opera Glasses and Spectacles The Housekeeper's Ledger	B
and	C
The Pleasure of Making a Will	D
	-
'I rule the roast as Milton says '	-
Caleb Quotem	E
	-
	-
Oh multifarious man	F
Thou Wondrous Admirable Kitchen Crichton	G
Born to enlighten	G
The laws of Optics Peptics Music Cooking	H
Master of the Piano and the Pan	F
As busy with the kitchen as the skies	I
Now looking	H
At some rich stew thro' Galileo's eyes	I
Or boiling eggs timed to a metronome	E
As much at home	E
In spectacles as in mere isinglass	I
In the art of frying brown as a digression	G
On music and poetical expression	G
Whereas how few of all our cooks alas	I
Could tell Calliope from 'Callipee '	-
How few there be	J
Could leave the lowest for the highest stories Observatories	I
And turn like thee Diana's calculator	B
However cook's synonymous with Kater	B
Alas still let me say	I
How few could lay	I
The carving knife beside the tuning fork	K
Like the proverbial Jack ready for any work	L
	-
	-
II	-
	-
Oh to behold thy features in thy book	M
Thy proper head and shoulders in a plate	N
How it would look	M
With one rais'd eye watching the dial's date	N
And one upon the roast gently cast down	O
Thy chops done nicely brown	O
The garnish'd brow with 'a few leaves of bay'	J
The hair 'done Wiggy's way '	-
And still one studious finger near thy brains	I
As if thou wert just come	E
From editing some	E
New soup or hashing Dibdin's cold remains	I
Or Orpheus like fresh from thy dying strains	I
Of music Epping luxuries of sound	P
As Milton says 'in many a bout	Q
Of linked sweetness long drawn out '	-
Whilst all thy tame stuff'd leopards listen'd round	P
	-
	-
III	-
	-
Oh rather thy whole proper length reveal	R
Standing like Fortune on the jack thy wheel	R
Thou art like Fortune full of chops and changes	I
Thou hast a fillet too before thine eye	S
Scanning our kitchen and our vocal ranges	I
As tho' it were the same to sing or fry	S
Nay so it is hear how Miss Paton's throat	T
Makes 'fritters' of a note	T
And how Tom Cook Fryer and Singer born	U
By name and nature oh how night and morn	U
He for the nicest public taste doth dish up	V
The good things from that Pan of music Bishop	V
And is not reading near akin to feeding	H
Or why should Oxford Sausages be fit	W
Receptacles for wit	W
Or why should Cambridge put its little smart	X
Minc'd brains into a Tart	X
Nay then thou wert but wise to frame receipts	I
Book treats	I
Equally to instruct the Cook and cram her	B
Receipts to be devour'd as well as read	Y
The Culinary Art in gingerbread	Y
The Kitchen's Eaten Grammar	B
	-
	-
IV	A
	-
Oh very pleasant is thy motley page	Z
Aye very pleasant in its chatty vein	A2
So in a kitchen would have talk'd Montaigne	A2
That merry Gascon humorist and sage	Z
Let slender minds with single themes engage	Z
Like Mr Bowles with his eternal Pope	B2
Or Haydon on perpetual Haydon or	C2
Hume on 'Twice three make four '	-
Or Lovelass upon Wills Thou goest on	A2
Plaiting ten topics like Tate Wilkinson	A2
Thy brain is like a rich Kaleidoscope	B2
Stuff'd with a brilliant medley of odd bits	I
And ever shifting on from change to change	D2
Saucepans old Songs Pills Spectacles and Spits	I
Thy range is wider than a Rumford Range	D2
Thy grasp a miracle till I recall	E2
Th' indubitable cause of thy variety	J
Thou art of course th' Epitome of all	E2
That spying frying singing mix'd Society	J
Of Scientific Friends who used to meet	F2
Welch Rabbits and thyself in Warren Street	F2
	-
	-
V	J
	-
Oh hast thou still those Conversazioni	A2
Where learned visitors discoursed and fed	Y
There came Belzoni	A2
Fresh from the ashes of Egyptian dead	Y
And gentle Poki and that Royal Pair	G2
Of whom thou didst declare	G2
'Thanks to the greatest Cooke we ever read	Y
They were what Sandwiches should be half bred'	Y
There fam'd M'Adam from his manual toil	H2
Relax'd and freely own'd he took thy hints	I
On 'making Broth with Flints'	I
There Parry came and show'd thee polar oil	H2
For melted butter Combe with his medullary	G2
Notions about the Skullery	G2
And Mr Poole too partial to a broil	H2
There witty Rogers came that punning elf	A
Who used to swear thy book	M
Would really look	M
A Delphic 'Oracle ' if laid on Delf	A
There once a month came Campbell and discuss'd	Y
His own and thy own 'Magazine of Taste'	Y
There Wilberforce the Just	Y
Came in his old black suit till once he trac'd	Y
Thy sly advice to Poachers of Black Folks	I
That 'do not break their yolks'	I
Which huff'd him home in grave disgust and haste	Y
	-
	-
VI	A
	-
There came John Clare the poet nor forbore	G2
Thy Patties thou wert hand and glove with Moore	G2
Who call'd thee 'Kitchen Addison' for why	A
Thou givest rules for Health and Peptic Pills	I
Forms for made dishes and receipts for Wills	I
'Teaching us how to live and how to die '	-
There came thy Cousin Cook good Mrs Fry	A
There Trench the Thames Projector first brought on	A2
His sine Quay non	A2
There Martin would drop in on Monday eves	I
Or Fridays from the pens and raise his breath	I2
'Gainst cattle days and death	I2
Answer'd by Mellish feeder of fat beeves	I
Who swore that Frenchmen never could be eager	G2
For fighting on soup meagre	G2
'And yet as thou would'st add the French have seen	A2
A Marshall Tureen'	A2
	-
	-
VII	A
	-
Great was thy Evening Cluster often grac'd	Y
With Dollond Burgess and Sir Humphry Davy	A
'Twas there M'Dermot first inclin'd to Taste	Y
There Colborn learn'd the art of making paste	Y
For puffs and Accum analyzed a gravy	A
Colman the Cutter of Coleman Street 'tis said	Y
Came there and Parkins with his Ex wise head	Y
His claim to letters Kater too the Moon's	I
Crony and Graham lofty on balloons	I
There Croly stalk'd with holy humor heated	Y
Who wrote a light horse play which Yates completed	Y
And Lady Morgan that grinding organ	A2
And Brasbridge telling anecdotes of spoons	I
Madame Valbr que thrice honor'd thee and came	E
With great Rossini his own bow and fiddle	J2
The Dibdins Tom Charles Frognall came with tuns	I
Of poor old books old puns	I
And even Irving spar'd a night from fame	E
And talk'd till thou didst stop him in the middle	J2
To serve round Tewah diddle	J2
	-
	-
VIII	A
	-
Then all the guests rose up and sighed good bye	A
So let them thou thyself art still a Host	Y
Dibdin Cornaro Newton Mrs Fry	A
Mrs Glasse Mr Spec Lovelass and Weber	G2
Matthews in Quot'em Moore's fire worshipping Gheber	G2
Thrice worthy Worthy seem by thee engross'd	Y
Howbeit the Peptic Cook still rules the roast	Y
Potent to hush all ventriloquial snarling	H
And ease the bosom pangs of indigestion	A2
Thou art sans question	A2
The Corporation's love its Doctor Darling	H
Look at the Civic Palate nay the Bed	Y
Which set dear Mrs Opie on supplying	H
Illustrations of Lying	H
Ninety square feet of down from heel to head	Y
It measured and I dread	Y
Was haunted by a terrible night Mare	G2
A monstrous burthen on the corporation	A2
Look at the Bill of Fare for one day's share	G2
Sea turtles by the score Oxen by droves	I
Geese turkeys by the flock fishes and loaves	I
Countless as when the Lilliputian nation	A2
Was making up the huge man mountain's ration	A2
	-
	-
IX	I
	-
Oh worthy Doctor surely thou hast driven	A2
The squatting Demon from great Garratt's breast	Y
His honor seems to rest	Y
And what is thy reward Hath London given	A2
Thee public thanks for thy important service	I
Alas not even	A2
The tokens it bestowed on Howe and Jervis	I
Yet could I speak as Orators should speak	K2
Before the worshipful the Common Council	J2
Utter my bold bad grammar and pronounce ill	J2
Thou should'st not miss thy Freedom for a week	K2
Richly engross'd on vellum Reason urges	I
That he who rules our cookery that he	A
Who edits soups and gravies ought to be	A
A Citizen where sauce can make a Burgess	I