Ode To W. Kitchener, M.d.[1] Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Thomas Hood

Ode To W. Kitchener, M.d.[1] Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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Author Of The Cook's Oracle Observations On Vocal Music The Art Of Invigorating And Prolonging Life Practical Observations On Telescopes Opera Glasses And Spectacles The Housekeeper's Ledger And The Pleasure Of Making A Will	A
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I rule the roast as Milton says Caleb Quotem	B
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Oh multifarious man	C
Thou Wondrous Admirable Kitchen Crichton	D
Born to enlighten	D
The laws of Optics Peptics Music Cooking	E
Master of the Piano and the Pan	C
As busy with the kitchen as the skies	F
Now looking	E
At some rich stew thro' Galileo's eyes	F
Or boiling eggs timed to a metronome	B
As much at home	B
In spectacles as in mere isinglass	F
In the art of frying brown as a digression	D
On music and poetical expression	D
Whereas how few of all our cooks alas	F
Could tell Calliope from Callipee	G
How few there be	H
Could leave the lowest for the highest stories Observatories	F
And turn like thee Diana's calculator	I
However cook's synonymous with Kater	I
Alas still let me say	F
How few could lay	F
The carving knife beside the tuning fork	J
Like the proverbial Jack ready for any work	K
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II	L
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Oh to behold thy features in thy book	M
Thy proper head and shoulders in a plate	N
How it would look	M
With one rais'd eye watching the dial's date	N
And one upon the roast gently cast down	O
Thy chops done nicely brown	O
The garnish'd brow with a few leaves of bay	F
The hair done Wiggy's way	F
And still one studious finger near thy brains	F
As if thou wert just come	B
From editing some	B
New soup or hashing Dibdin's cold remains	F
Or Orpheus like fresh from thy dying strains	F
Of music Epping luxuries of sound	P
As Milton says in many a bout	Q
Of linked sweetness long drawn out	Q
Whilst all thy tame stuff'd leopards listen'd round	P
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III	L
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Oh rather thy whole proper length reveal	R
Standing like Fortune on the jack thy wheel	R
Thou art like Fortune full of chops and changes	F
Thou hast a fillet too before thine eye	S
Scanning our kitchen and our vocal ranges	F
As tho' it were the same to sing or fry	S
Nay so it is hear how Miss Paton's throat	T
Makes fritters of a note	T
And how Tom Cook Fryer and Singer born	U
By name and nature oh how night and morn	U
He for the nicest public taste doth dish up	G
The good things from that Pan of music Bishop	G
And is not reading near akin to feeding	E
Or why should Oxford Sausages be fit	V
Receptacles for wit	V
Or why should Cambridge put its little smart	W
Minc'd brains into a Tart	W
Nay then thou wert but wise to frame receipts	F
Book treats	F
Equally to instruct the Cook and cram her	I
Receipts to be devour'd as well as read	X
The Culinary Art in gingerbread	X
The Kitchen's Eaten Grammar	I
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IV	Y
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Oh very pleasant is thy motley page	Z
Aye very pleasant in its chatty vein	A2
So in a kitchen would have talk'd Montaigne	A2
That merry Gascon humorist and sage	Z
Let slender minds with single themes engage	Z
Like Mr Bowles with his eternal Pope	G
Or Haydon on perpetual Haydon or	B2
Hume on Twice three make four	B2
Or Lovelass upon Wills Thou goest on	A2
Plaiting ten topics like Tate Wilkinson	A2
Thy brain is like a rich Kaleidoscope	G
Stuff'd with a brilliant medley of odd bits	F
And ever shifting on from change to change	C2
Saucepans old Songs Pills Spectacles and Spits	F
Thy range is wider than a Rumford Range	C2
Thy grasp a miracle till I recall	D2
Th' indubitable cause of thy variety	H
Thou art of course th' Epitome of all	D2
That spying frying singing mix'd Society	H
Of Scientific Friends who used to meet	E2
Welch Rabbits and thyself in Warren Street	E2
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V	H
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Oh hast thou still those Conversazioni	A2
Where learned visitors discoursed and fed	X
There came Belzoni	A2
Fresh from the ashes of Egyptian dead	X
And gentle Poki and that Royal Pair	F2
Of whom thou didst declare	F2
Thanks to the greatest Cooke we ever read	X
They were what Sandwiches should be half bred	X
There fam'd M'Adam from his manual toil	G2
Relax'd and freely own'd he took thy hints	F
On making Broth with Flints	F
There Parry came and show'd thee polar oil	G2
For melted butter Combe with his medullary	F2
Notions about the Skullery	F2
And Mr Poole too partial to a broil	G2
There witty Rogers came that punning elf	Y
Who used to swear thy book	M
Would really look	M
A Delphic Oracle if laid on Delf	Y
There once a month came Campbell and discuss'd	H2
His own and thy own Magazine of Taste	I2
There Wilberforce the Just	H2
Came in his old black suit till once he trac'd	I2
Thy sly advice to Poachers of Black Folks	F
That do not break their yolks	F
Which huff'd him home in grave disgust and haste	I2
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VI	Y
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There came John Clare the poet nor forbore	F2
Thy Patties thou wert hand and glove with Moore	F2
Who call'd thee Kitchen Addison for why	Y
Thou givest rules for Health and Peptic Pills	F
Forms for made dishes and receipts for Wills	F
Teaching us how to live and how to die	Y
There came thy Cousin Cook good Mrs Fry	Y
There Trench the Thames Projector first brought on	A2
His sine Quay non	A2
There Martin would drop in on Monday eves	F
Or Fridays from the pens and raise his breath	J2
'Gainst cattle days and death	J2
Answer'd by Mellish feeder of fat beeves	F
Who swore that Frenchmen never could be eager	F2
For fighting on soup meagre	F2
And yet as thou would'st add the French have seen	A2
A Marshall Tureen	A2
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VII	Y
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Great was thy Evening Cluster often grac'd	I2
With Dollond Burgess and Sir Humphry Davy	Y
'Twas there M'Dermot first inclin'd to Taste	I2
There Colborn learn'd the art of making paste	I2
For puffs and Accum analyzed a gravy	Y
Colman the Cutter of Coleman Street 'tis said	X
Came there and Parkins with his Ex wise head	X
His claim to letters Kater too the Moon's	F
Crony and Graham lofty on balloons	F
There Croly stalk'd with holy humor heated	K2
Who wrote a light horse play which Yates completed	K2
And Lady Morgan that grinding organ	A2
And Brasbridge telling anecdotes of spoons	F
Madame Valbr que thrice honor'd thee and came	B
With great Rossini his own bow and fiddle	L2
The Dibdins Tom Charles Frognall came with tuns	F
Of poor old books old puns	F
And even Irving spar'd a night from fame	B
And talk'd till thou didst stop him in the middle	L2
To serve round Tewah diddle	L2
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VIII	Y
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Then all the guests rose up and sighed good bye	Y
So let them thou thyself art still a Host	M2
Dibdin Cornaro Newton Mrs Fry	Y
Mrs Glasse Mr Spec Lovelass and Weber	F2
Matthews in Quot'em Moore's fire worshipping Gheber	F2
Thrice worthy Worthy seem by thee engross'd	M2
Howbeit the Peptic Cook still rules the roast	M2
Potent to hush all ventriloquial snarling	E
And ease the bosom pangs of indigestion	A2
Thou art sans question	A2
The Corporation's love its Doctor Darling	E
Look at the Civic Palate nay the Bed	X
Which set dear Mrs Opie on supplying	E
Illustrations of Lying	E
Ninety square feet of down from heel to head	X
It measured and I dread	X
Was haunted by a terrible night Mare	F2
A monstrous burthen on the corporation	A2
Look at the Bill of Fare for one day's share	F2
Sea turtles by the score Oxen by droves	F
Geese turkeys by the flock fishes and loaves	F
Countless as when the Lilliputian nation	A2
Was making up the huge man mountain's ration	A2
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IX	F
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Oh worthy Doctor surely thou hast driven	A2
The squatting Demon from great Garratt's breast	N2
His honor seems to rest	N2
And what is thy reward Hath London given	A2
Thee public thanks for thy important service	F
Alas not even	A2
The tokens it bestowed on Howe and Jervis	F
Yet could I speak as Orators should speak	O2
Before the worshipful the Common Council	L2
Utter my bold bad grammar and pronounce ill	L2
Thou should'st not miss thy Freedom for a week	O2
Richly engross'd on vellum Reason urges	F
That he who rules our cookery that he	Y
Who edits soups and gravies ought to be	Y
A Citizen where sauce can make a Burgess	F