Agricultural Distress. - A Pastoral Report Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFGG H IIJJKKLLMMGG L NNOOPPQQNNNNGG R BBSSLLTUVVWWXX G Y ZZA2A2B2B2C2C2D2D2E2 D2D2GG L XXMMF2F2MM G2G2SSMMZZLLNNMMB2B2 M L M H2H2MMI2I2M OOJ2J2MM M SSMMMMB2OI2I2XXMML MM L NNNNK2K2 L2L2M2M2MMMN2O2O2P2P 2XXZZ ZZLLKKBBXX L MMOne Sunday morning service done | A |
'Mongst tombstones shining in the sun | A |
A knot of bumpkins stood to chat | B |
Of that and this and this and that | B |
What people said of Polly Hatch | C |
Which side had won the cricket match | C |
And who was cotch'd and who was bowl'd | D |
How barley beans and 'taters sold | D |
What men could swallow at a meal | E |
When Bumpstead Youths would ring a peal | E |
And who was taken off to jail | F |
And where they brew'd the strongest ale | F |
At last this question they address | G |
What's Agricultural Distress | G |
- | |
- | |
HODGE | H |
- | |
For my peart it's a thought o' mine | I |
It be the fancy farming line | I |
Like yonder gemman him I mean | J |
As took the Willa nigh the Green | J |
And turn'd his cattle in the wheat | K |
And gave his porkers hay to eat | K |
And sent his footman up to town | L |
To ax the Lonnon gentry down | L |
To be so kind as make his hay | M |
Exactly on St Swithin's day | M |
With consequences you may guess | G |
That's Hagricultural Distress | G |
- | |
- | |
DICKON | L |
- | |
Last Monday morning Master Blogg | N |
Com'd for to stick our bacon hog | N |
But th' hog he cock'd a knowing eye | O |
As if he twigg'd the reason why | O |
And dodg'd and dodg'd 'un such a dance | P |
He didn't give the noose a chance | P |
So Master Blogg at last lays off | Q |
And shams a rattle at the trough | Q |
When swish in bolts our bacon hog | N |
Atwixt the legs o' Master Blogg | N |
And flops him down in all the muck | N |
As hadn't been swept up by luck | N |
Now that accordin' to my guess | G |
Be Hagricultural Distress | G |
- | |
- | |
GILES | R |
- | |
No that arn't it I tell 'ee flat | B |
I'ze bring a worser case nor that | B |
Last Friday week I takes a start | S |
To Reading with our horse and cart | S |
Well when I'ze set the 'taters down | L |
I meets a crony at the Crown | L |
And what betwixt the ale and Tom | T |
It's dark afore I starts for home | U |
So whipping hard by long and late | V |
At last we reaches nigh the gate | V |
And sure enough there Master stand | W |
A lantern flaring in his hand | W |
'Why Giles ' says he 'what's that 'un thear | X |
Yond' chestnut horse bean't my bay mear | X |
He bean't not worth a leg o' Bess ' | - |
There's Hagricultural Distress | G |
- | |
- | |
HOB | Y |
- | |
That's nothin yet to Tom's mishap | Z |
A gooing through the yard poor chap | Z |
Only to fetch his milking pails | A2 |
When up he shies like head or tails | A2 |
Nor would the Bull let Tom a be | B2 |
Till he had toss'd the best o' three | B2 |
And there lies Tom with broken bones | C2 |
A surgeon's job for Doctor Jones | C2 |
Well Doctor Jones lays down the law | D2 |
'There's two crackt ribs besides a jaw | D2 |
Eat well ' says he 'stuff out your case | E2 |
For that will keep the ribs in place ' | - |
But how was Tom poor chap to chaw | D2 |
Seeing as how he'd broke his jaw | D2 |
That's summut to the pint yes yes | G |
That's Hagricultural Distress | G |
- | |
- | |
SIMON | L |
- | |
Well turn and turn about is fair | X |
Tom's bad enough and so's the mare | X |
But nothing to my load of hay | M |
You see 'twas hard on quarter day | M |
And cash was wanted for the rent | F2 |
So up to Lonnon I was sent | F2 |
To sell as prime a load of hay | M |
As ever dried on summer's day | M |
- | |
Well standing in Whitechapel Road | G2 |
A chap comes up to buy my load | G2 |
And looks and looks about the cart | S |
Pretending to be 'cute and smart | S |
But no great judge as people say | M |
'Cause why he never smelt the hay | M |
Thinks I as he's a simple chap | Z |
He'll give a simple price mayhap | Z |
Such buyers comes but now and then | L |
So slap I axes nine pun' ten | L |
'That's dear ' says he and pretty quick | N |
He taps his leathers with his stick | N |
'Suppose ' says he 'we wet our clay | M |
Just while we bargin 'bout the hay | M |
So in we goes my chap and me | B2 |
He drinks to I and I to he | B2 |
At last says I a little gay | M |
'It's time to talk about that hay ' | - |
'Nine pund ' says he 'and I'm your man | L |
Live and let live for that's my plan ' | - |
'That's true ' says I 'but still I say | M |
It's nine pun' ten for that 'ere hay ' | - |
And so we chaffers for a bit | H2 |
At long and last the odds we split | H2 |
And off he sets to show the way | M |
Where up a yard I leaves the hay | M |
Then from the pocket of his coat | I2 |
He pulls a book and picks a note | I2 |
'That's Ten ' says he 'I hope to pay | M |
Tens upon tens for loads of hay ' | - |
'With all my heart and soon ' says I | O |
And feeling for the change thereby | O |
But all my shillings com'd to five | J2 |
Says he 'No matter man alive | J2 |
There's something in your honest phiz | M |
I'd trust if twice the sum it is | M |
You'll pay next time you come to town ' | - |
'As sure ' says I 'as corn is brown ' | - |
'All right ' says he Thinks I 'huzza | M |
He's got no bargain of the hay ' | - |
- | |
Well home I goes with empty cart | S |
Whipping the horses pretty smart | S |
And whistling ev'ry yard o' way | M |
To think how well I'd sold the hay | M |
And just cotch'd Master at his greens | M |
And bacon or it might be beans | M |
Which didn't taste the worse surely | B2 |
To hear his hay had gone so high | O |
But lord when I laid down the note | I2 |
It stuck the victuals in his throat | I2 |
And chok'd him till his face all grew | X |
Like pickling cabbage red and blue | X |
With such big goggle eyes Ods nails | M |
They seem'd a coming out like snails | M |
'A note ' says he half mad with passion | L |
'Why thou dom'd fool thou'st took a flash 'un ' | - |
Now wasn't that a pretty mess | M |
That's Hagricultural Distress | M |
- | |
- | |
COLIN | L |
- | |
Phoo phoo You're nothing near the thing | N |
You only argy in a ring | N |
'Cause why You never cares to look | N |
Like me in any larned book | N |
But schollards know the wrong and right | K2 |
Of every thing in black and white | K2 |
- | |
Well Farming that's its common name | L2 |
And Agriculture be the same | L2 |
So put your Farming first and next | M2 |
Distress and there you have your text | M2 |
But here the question comes to press | M |
What farming be and what's distress | M |
Why farming is to plough and sow | M |
Weed harrow harvest reap and mow | N2 |
Thrash winnow sell and buy and breed | O2 |
The proper stock to fat and feed | O2 |
Distress is want and pain and grief | P2 |
And sickness things as wants relief | P2 |
Thirst hunger age and cold severe | X |
In short ax any overseer | X |
Well now the logic for to chop | Z |
Where's the distress about a crop | Z |
- | |
There's no distress in keeping sheep | Z |
I likes to see 'em frisk and leap | Z |
There's no distress in seeing swine | L |
Grow up to pork and bacon fine | L |
There's no distress in growing wheat | K |
And grass for men or beasts to eat | K |
And making of lean cattle fat | B |
There's no distress of course in that | B |
Then what remains But one thing more | X |
And that's the Farming of the Poor | X |
- | |
- | |
HODGE DICKON GILES HOB AND SIMON | L |
- | |
Yea aye surely for sartin yes | M |
That's Hagricultural Distress | M |
Thomas Hood
(1)
Poem topics: , Print This Poem , Rhyme Scheme
Submit Spanish Translation
Submit German Translation
Submit French Translation
<< Lines On Seeing My Wife And Two Children Sleeping In The Same Chamber.[1] Poem
Rural Felicity Poem>>
Write your comment about Agricultural Distress. - A Pastoral Report poem by Thomas Hood
Best Poems of Thomas Hood