The Metaphysical Sectarian Poem Rhyme Scheme

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HE was in Logick a great Critick	A
Profoundly skill'd in Analytick	A
He could distinguish and divide	B
A Hair 'twixt South and South West side	B
On either which he would dispute	C
Confute change hands and still confute	C
He'd undertake to prove by force	D
Of Argument a Man's no Horse	D
He'd prove a Buzard is no Fowl	E
And that a Lord may be an Owl	E
A Calf an Alderman a Goose a Justice	F
And Rooks Committee men and Trustees	G
He'd run in Debt by Disputation	H
And pay with Ratiocination	H
All this by Syllogism true	I
In Mood and Figure he would do	I
	-
For Rhetorick he could not ope	J
His mouth but out there flew a Trope	J
And when he hapned to break off	K
I'th middle of his speech or cough	L
H'had hard words ready to shew why	M
And tell what Rules he did it by	M
Else when with greatest Art he spoke	A
You'd think he talk'd like other folk	A
For all a Rhetoricians Rules	N
Teach nothing but to name his Tools	N
His ordinary Rate of Speech	O
In loftiness of sound was rich	P
A Babylonish dialect	C
Which learned Pedants much affect	C
It was a parti colour'd dress	Q
Of patch'd and pyball'd Languages	R
'Twas English cut on Greek and Latin	H
Like Fustian heretofore on Sattin	H
It had an odd promiscuous Tone	H
As if h' had talk'd three parts in one	H
Which made some think when he did gabble	E
Th' had heard three Labourers of Babel	E
Or Cerberus himself pronounce	S
A Leash of Languages at once	T
This he as volubly would vent	C
As if his stock would ne'r be spent	C
And truly to support that charge	U
He had supplies as vast and large	U
For he could coyn or counterfeit	C
New words with little or no wit	C
Words so debas'd and hard no stone	H
Was hard enough to touch them on	H
And when with hasty noise he spoke 'em	V
The Ignorant for currant took 'em	V
That had the Orator who once	T
Did fill his Mouth with Pebble stones	W
When he harangu'd but known his Phrase	X
He would have us'd no other ways	X
	-
In Mathematicks he was greater	Y
Then Tycho Brahe or Erra Pater	Y
For he by Geometrick scale	E
Could take the size of Pots of Ale	E
Resolve by Signes and Tangents straight	C
If Bread or Butter wanted weight	C
And wisely tell what hour o'th day	C
The Clock does strike by Algebra	Z
	-
Beside he was a shrewd Philosopher	Y
And had read every Text and gloss over	Y
What e're the crabbed'st Author hath	A2
He understood b'implicit Faith	B2
What ever Sceptick could inquere for	C2
For every why he had a wherefore	C2
Knew more then forty of them do	I
As far as words and terms could go	A
All which he understood by Rote	C
And as occasion serv'd would quote	C
No matter whether right or wrong	A
They might be either said or sung	A
His Notions fitted things so well	E
That which was which he could not tell	E
But oftentimes mistook the one	H
For th'other as Great Clerks have done	H
He could reduce all things to Acts	D2
And knew their Natures by Abstracts	D2
Where Entity and Quiddity	C
The Ghosts of defunct Bodies flie	E
Where Truth in Person does appear	C2
Like words congeal'd in Northern Air	C2
He knew what's what and that's as high	M
As Metaphysick wit can fly	M
In School Divinity as able	E
As he that hight Irrefragable	E
Profound in all the Nominal	E
And real ways beyond them all	E
And with as delicate a Hand	C
Could twist as tough a Rope of Sand	C
And weave fine Cobwebs fit for skull	E
That's empty when the Moon is full	E
Such as take Lodgings in a Head	C
That's to be lett unfurnished	C
He could raise Scruples dark and nice	E2
And after solve 'em in a trice	E2
As if Divinity had catch'd	C
The Itch of purpose to be scratch'd	C
Or like a Mountebank did wound	C
And stab her self with doubts profound	C
Onely to shew with how small pain	H
The sores of faith are cur'd again	H
Although by woful proof we find	C
They always leave a Scar behind	C
He knew the Seat of Paradise	E2
Could tell in what degree it lies	F2
And as he was dispos'd could prove it	C
Below the Moon or else above it	C
What Adam dreamt of when his Bride	C
Came from her Closet in his side	C
Whether the Devil tempted her	C2
By a High Dutch Interpreter	C2
If either of them had a Navel	E
Who first made Musick malleable	E
Whether the Serpent at the fall	E
Had cloven Feet or none at all	E
All this without a Gloss or Comment	C
He would unriddle in a moment	C
In proper terms such as men smatter	C2
When they throw out and miss the matter	C2

Samuel Butler

The Metaphysical Sectarian Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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