The Ballad Of How Macpherson Held The Floor Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCDEEFFGGHH AAIIJJKKLLAAMMDDNNOP AAQQLLJJAAAARRSSQQ AAAAAATTJJNN UUTTTTVVAAWWAA AATTXXYYZZA2A2NN JJTTAATTCC AAAATTNN TTTTTTTT UUAB2MMCC C2D2JJE2E2F2F2NN A2A2AAD2C2CCG2NSaid President MacConnachie to Treasurer MacCall | A |
We ought to have a piper for our next Saint Andrew's Ball | A |
Yon squakin' saxophone gives me the syncopated gripes | B |
I'm sick of jazz I want to hear the skirling of the pipes | B |
Alas it's true said Tam MacCall The young folk of to day | C |
Are fox trot mad and dinna ken a reel from Strathspey | D |
Now what we want's a kiltie lad primed up wi' mountain dew | E |
To strut the floor at supper time and play a lilt or two | E |
In all the North there's only one of him I've heard them speak | F |
His name is Jock MacPherson and he lives on Boulder Creek | F |
An old time hard rock miner and a wild and wastrel loon | G |
Who spends his nights in glory playing pibrochs to the moon | G |
I'll seek him out beyond a doubt on next Saint Andrew's night | H |
We'll proudly hear the pipes to cheer and charm our appetite | H |
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Oh lads were neat and lassies sweet who graced Saint Andrew's Ball | A |
But there was none so full of fun as Treasurer MacCall | A |
And as Maloney's rag time bank struck up the newest hit | I |
He smiled a smile behind his hand and chuckled Wait a bit | I |
And so with many a Celtic snort with malice in his eye | J |
He watched the merry crowd cavort till supper time drew nigh | J |
Then gleefully he seemed to steal and sought the Nugget Bar | K |
Wherein there sat a tartaned chiel as lonely as a star | K |
A huge and hairy Highlandman as hearty as a breeze | L |
A glass of whisky in his hand his bag pipes on his knees | L |
Drink down your doch and doris Jock cried Treasurer MacCall | A |
The time is ripe to up and pipe they wait you in the hall | A |
Gird up your loins and grit your teeth and here's a pint of hooch | M |
To mind you of your native heath jist pit it in your pooch | M |
Play on and on for all you're worth you'll shame us if you stop | D |
Remember you're of Scottish birth keep piping till you drop | D |
Aye though a bunch of Willie boys should bluster and implore | N |
For the glory of the Highlands lad you've got to hold the floor | N |
The dancers were at supper and the tables groaned with cheer | O |
When President MacConnachie exclaimed What do I hear | P |
Methinks it's like a chanter and its coming from the hall | A |
It's Jock MacPherson tuning up cried Treasurer MacCall | A |
So up they jumped with shouts of glee and gaily hurried forth | Q |
Said they We never thought to see a piper in the North | Q |
Aye all the lads and lassies braw went buzzing out like bees | L |
And Jock MacPherson there they saw with red and rugged knees | L |
Full six foot four he strode the floor a grizzled son of Skye | J |
With glory in his whiskers and with whisky in his eye | J |
With skelping stride and Scottish pride he towered above them all | A |
And is he no' a bonny sight said Treasurer MacCall | A |
While President MacConnachie was fairly daft with glee | A |
And there was jubilation in the Scottish Commy tee | A |
But the dancers seemed uncertain and they signified their doubt | R |
By dashing back to eat as fast as they had darted out | R |
And someone raised the question 'twixt the coffee and the cakes | S |
Does the Piper walk to get away from all the noise he makes | S |
Then reinforced with fancy food they slowly trickled forth | Q |
And watching in patronizing mood the Piper of the North | Q |
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Proud proud was Jock MacPherson as he made his bag pipes skirl | A |
And he set his sporran swinging and he gave his kilts a whirl | A |
And President MacConnachie was jumping like a flea | A |
And there was joy and rapture in the Scottish Commy tee | A |
Jist let them have their saxophones wi' constipated squall | A |
We're having Heaven's music now said Treasurer MacCall | A |
But the dancers waxed impatient and they rather seemed to fret | T |
For Maloney and the jazz of his Hibernian Quartette | T |
Yet little recked the Piper as he swung with head on high | J |
Lamenting with MacCrimmon on the heather hills of Skye | J |
With Highland passion in his heart he held the centre floor | N |
Aye Jock MacPherson played as he had never played before | N |
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Maloney's Irish melodists were sitting in their place | U |
And as Maloney waited there was wonder in his face | U |
'Twas sure the gorgeous music Golly wouldn't it be grand | T |
If he could get MacPherson as a member of his band | T |
But the dancers moped and mumbled as around the room they sat | T |
We paid to dance they grumbled But we cannot dance to that | T |
Of course we're not denying that it's really splendid stuff | V |
But it's mighty satisfying don't you think we've had enough | V |
You've raised a pretty problem answered Treasurer MacCall | A |
For on Saint Andrew's Night ye ken the Piper rules the Ball | A |
Said President MacConnachie You've said a solemn thing | W |
Tradition holds him sacred and he's got to have his fling | W |
But soon no doubt he'll weary out Have patience bide a wee | A |
That's right Respect the Piper said the Scottish Commy tee | A |
- | |
And so MacPherson stalked the floor and fast the moments flew | A |
Till half an hour went past as irritation grew and grew | A |
Then the dancers held a council and with faces fiercely set | T |
They hailed Maloney heading his Hibernian Quartette | T |
It's long enough we've waited Come on Mike play up the Blues | X |
And Maloney hesitated but he didn't dare refuse | X |
So banjo and piano and guitar and saxophone | Y |
Contended with the shrilling of the chanter and the drone | Y |
And the women's ears were muffled so infernal was the din | Z |
But MacPherson was unruffled for he knew that he would win | Z |
Then two bright boys jazzed round him and they sought to play the clown | A2 |
But MacPherson jolted sideways and the Sassenachs went down | A2 |
And as if it was a signal with a wild and angry roar | N |
The gates of wrath were riven yet MacPherson held the floor | N |
- | |
Aye amid the rising tumult still he strode with head on high | J |
With ribbands gaily streaming yet with battle in his eye | J |
Amid the storm that gathered still he stalked with Highland pride | T |
While President and Treasurer sprang bravely to his side | T |
And with ire and indignation that was glorious to see | A |
Around him in a body ringed the Scottish Commy tee | A |
Their teeth were clenched with fury their eyes with anger blazed | T |
Ye manna touch the Piper was the slogan that they raised | T |
Then blows were struck and men went down yet 'mid the rising fray | C |
MacPherson towered in triumph and he never ceased to play | C |
- | |
Alas his faithful followers were but a gallant few | A |
And faced defeat although they fought with all the skill they knew | A |
For President MacConnachie was seen to slip and fall | A |
And o'er his prostrate body stumbled Treasurer MacCall | A |
And as their foes with triumph roared and leagured them about | T |
It looked as if their little band would soon be counted out | T |
For eyes were black and noses red yet on that field of gore | N |
As resolute as Highland rock MacPherson held the floor | N |
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Maloney watched the battle and his brows were bleakly set | T |
While with him paused and panted his Hibernian Quartette | T |
For sure it is an evil spite and breaking to the heart | T |
For Irishman to watch a fight and not be taking part | T |
Then suddenly on high he soared and tightened up his belt | T |
And shall we see them crush he roared a brother and a Celt | T |
A fellow artiste needs our aid Come on boys take a hand | T |
Then down into the m ecirc l eacute e dashed Maloney and his band | T |
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Now though it was Saint Andrew's Ball yet men of every race | U |
That bow before the Great God Jazz were gathered in that place | U |
Yea there were those who grunt Ya Ya and those who squeak We We | A |
Likewise Dutch Dago Swede and Finn Polack and Portugee | B2 |
Yet like ripe grain before the gale that national hotch potch | M |
Went down before the fury of the Irish and the Scotch | M |
Aye though they closed their gaping ranks and rallied to the fray | C |
To the Shamrock and the Thistle went the glory of the day | C |
- | |
You should have seen the carnage in the drooling light of dawn | C2 |
Yet 'mid the scene of slaughter Jock MacPherson playing on | D2 |
Though all lay low about him yet he held his head on high | J |
And piped as if he stood upon the caller crags of Skye | J |
His face was grim as granite and no favour did he ask | E2 |
Though weary were his mighty lungs and empty was his flask | E2 |
And when a fallen foe wailed out Say when will you have done | F2 |
MacPherson grinned and answered Hoots She's only ha'f begun | F2 |
Aye though his hands were bloody and his knees were gay with gore | N |
A Grampian of Highland pride MacPherson held the floor | N |
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And still in Yukon valleys where the silent peaks look down | A2 |
They tell of how the Piper was invited up to town | A2 |
And he went in kilted glory and he piped before them all | A |
But wouldn't stop his piping till he busted up the Ball | A |
Of that Homeric scrap they speak and how the fight went on | D2 |
With sally and with rally till the breaking of the dawn | C2 |
And how the Piper towered like a rock amid the fray | C |
And the battle surged about him but he never ceased to play | C |
Aye by the lonely camp fires still they tell the story o'er | G2 |
How the Sassenach was vanquished and MacPherson held the floor | N |
Robert Service
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