The Ballad Of How Macpherson Held The Floor Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Said President MacConnachie to Treasurer MacCall	A
We ought to have a piper for our next Saint Andrew's Ball	A
Yon squakin' saxophone gives me the syncopated gripes	B
I'm sick of jazz I want to hear the skirling of the pipes	B
Alas it's true said Tam MacCall The young folk of to day	C
Are fox trot mad and dinna ken a reel from Strathspey	D
Now what we want's a kiltie lad primed up wi' mountain dew	E
To strut the floor at supper time and play a lilt or two	E
In all the North there's only one of him I've heard them speak	F
His name is Jock MacPherson and he lives on Boulder Creek	F
An old time hard rock miner and a wild and wastrel loon	G
Who spends his nights in glory playing pibrochs to the moon	G
I'll seek him out beyond a doubt on next Saint Andrew's night	H
We'll proudly hear the pipes to cheer and charm our appetite	H
	-
Oh lads were neat and lassies sweet who graced Saint Andrew's Ball	A
But there was none so full of fun as Treasurer MacCall	A
And as Maloney's rag time bank struck up the newest hit	I
He smiled a smile behind his hand and chuckled Wait a bit	I
And so with many a Celtic snort with malice in his eye	J
He watched the merry crowd cavort till supper time drew nigh	J
Then gleefully he seemed to steal and sought the Nugget Bar	K
Wherein there sat a tartaned chiel as lonely as a star	K
A huge and hairy Highlandman as hearty as a breeze	L
A glass of whisky in his hand his bag pipes on his knees	L
Drink down your doch and doris Jock cried Treasurer MacCall	A
The time is ripe to up and pipe they wait you in the hall	A
Gird up your loins and grit your teeth and here's a pint of hooch	M
To mind you of your native heath jist pit it in your pooch	M
Play on and on for all you're worth you'll shame us if you stop	D
Remember you're of Scottish birth keep piping till you drop	D
Aye though a bunch of Willie boys should bluster and implore	N
For the glory of the Highlands lad you've got to hold the floor	N
The dancers were at supper and the tables groaned with cheer	O
When President MacConnachie exclaimed What do I hear	P
Methinks it's like a chanter and its coming from the hall	A
It's Jock MacPherson tuning up cried Treasurer MacCall	A
So up they jumped with shouts of glee and gaily hurried forth	Q
Said they We never thought to see a piper in the North	Q
Aye all the lads and lassies braw went buzzing out like bees	L
And Jock MacPherson there they saw with red and rugged knees	L
Full six foot four he strode the floor a grizzled son of Skye	J
With glory in his whiskers and with whisky in his eye	J
With skelping stride and Scottish pride he towered above them all	A
And is he no' a bonny sight said Treasurer MacCall	A
While President MacConnachie was fairly daft with glee	A
And there was jubilation in the Scottish Commy tee	A
But the dancers seemed uncertain and they signified their doubt	R
By dashing back to eat as fast as they had darted out	R
And someone raised the question 'twixt the coffee and the cakes	S
Does the Piper walk to get away from all the noise he makes	S
Then reinforced with fancy food they slowly trickled forth	Q
And watching in patronizing mood the Piper of the North	Q
	-
Proud proud was Jock MacPherson as he made his bag pipes skirl	A
And he set his sporran swinging and he gave his kilts a whirl	A
And President MacConnachie was jumping like a flea	A
And there was joy and rapture in the Scottish Commy tee	A
Jist let them have their saxophones wi' constipated squall	A
We're having Heaven's music now said Treasurer MacCall	A
But the dancers waxed impatient and they rather seemed to fret	T
For Maloney and the jazz of his Hibernian Quartette	T
Yet little recked the Piper as he swung with head on high	J
Lamenting with MacCrimmon on the heather hills of Skye	J
With Highland passion in his heart he held the centre floor	N
Aye Jock MacPherson played as he had never played before	N
	-
Maloney's Irish melodists were sitting in their place	U
And as Maloney waited there was wonder in his face	U
'Twas sure the gorgeous music Golly wouldn't it be grand	T
If he could get MacPherson as a member of his band	T
But the dancers moped and mumbled as around the room they sat	T
We paid to dance they grumbled But we cannot dance to that	T
Of course we're not denying that it's really splendid stuff	V
But it's mighty satisfying don't you think we've had enough	V
You've raised a pretty problem answered Treasurer MacCall	A
For on Saint Andrew's Night ye ken the Piper rules the Ball	A
Said President MacConnachie You've said a solemn thing	W
Tradition holds him sacred and he's got to have his fling	W
But soon no doubt he'll weary out Have patience bide a wee	A
That's right Respect the Piper said the Scottish Commy tee	A
	-
And so MacPherson stalked the floor and fast the moments flew	A
Till half an hour went past as irritation grew and grew	A
Then the dancers held a council and with faces fiercely set	T
They hailed Maloney heading his Hibernian Quartette	T
It's long enough we've waited Come on Mike play up the Blues	X
And Maloney hesitated but he didn't dare refuse	X
So banjo and piano and guitar and saxophone	Y
Contended with the shrilling of the chanter and the drone	Y
And the women's ears were muffled so infernal was the din	Z
But MacPherson was unruffled for he knew that he would win	Z
Then two bright boys jazzed round him and they sought to play the clown	A2
But MacPherson jolted sideways and the Sassenachs went down	A2
And as if it was a signal with a wild and angry roar	N
The gates of wrath were riven yet MacPherson held the floor	N
	-
Aye amid the rising tumult still he strode with head on high	J
With ribbands gaily streaming yet with battle in his eye	J
Amid the storm that gathered still he stalked with Highland pride	T
While President and Treasurer sprang bravely to his side	T
And with ire and indignation that was glorious to see	A
Around him in a body ringed the Scottish Commy tee	A
Their teeth were clenched with fury their eyes with anger blazed	T
Ye manna touch the Piper was the slogan that they raised	T
Then blows were struck and men went down yet 'mid the rising fray	C
MacPherson towered in triumph and he never ceased to play	C
	-
Alas his faithful followers were but a gallant few	A
And faced defeat although they fought with all the skill they knew	A
For President MacConnachie was seen to slip and fall	A
And o'er his prostrate body stumbled Treasurer MacCall	A
And as their foes with triumph roared and leagured them about	T
It looked as if their little band would soon be counted out	T
For eyes were black and noses red yet on that field of gore	N
As resolute as Highland rock MacPherson held the floor	N
	-
Maloney watched the battle and his brows were bleakly set	T
While with him paused and panted his Hibernian Quartette	T
For sure it is an evil spite and breaking to the heart	T
For Irishman to watch a fight and not be taking part	T
Then suddenly on high he soared and tightened up his belt	T
And shall we see them crush he roared a brother and a Celt	T
A fellow artiste needs our aid Come on boys take a hand	T
Then down into the m ecirc l eacute e dashed Maloney and his band	T
	-
Now though it was Saint Andrew's Ball yet men of every race	U
That bow before the Great God Jazz were gathered in that place	U
Yea there were those who grunt Ya Ya and those who squeak We We	A
Likewise Dutch Dago Swede and Finn Polack and Portugee	B2
Yet like ripe grain before the gale that national hotch potch	M
Went down before the fury of the Irish and the Scotch	M
Aye though they closed their gaping ranks and rallied to the fray	C
To the Shamrock and the Thistle went the glory of the day	C
	-
You should have seen the carnage in the drooling light of dawn	C2
Yet 'mid the scene of slaughter Jock MacPherson playing on	D2
Though all lay low about him yet he held his head on high	J
And piped as if he stood upon the caller crags of Skye	J
His face was grim as granite and no favour did he ask	E2
Though weary were his mighty lungs and empty was his flask	E2
And when a fallen foe wailed out Say when will you have done	F2
MacPherson grinned and answered Hoots She's only ha'f begun	F2
Aye though his hands were bloody and his knees were gay with gore	N
A Grampian of Highland pride MacPherson held the floor	N
	-
And still in Yukon valleys where the silent peaks look down	A2
They tell of how the Piper was invited up to town	A2
And he went in kilted glory and he piped before them all	A
But wouldn't stop his piping till he busted up the Ball	A
Of that Homeric scrap they speak and how the fight went on	D2
With sally and with rally till the breaking of the dawn	C2
And how the Piper towered like a rock amid the fray	C
And the battle surged about him but he never ceased to play	C
Aye by the lonely camp fires still they tell the story o'er	G2
How the Sassenach was vanquished and MacPherson held the floor	N

Robert Service

The Ballad Of How Macpherson Held The Floor Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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