Pauline - A Fragment Of A Confession Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRST UVWKXFY ZGLA2QB2WC2QLP D2E2F2QG2H2ED2QI2J2L K2L2LY M2N2O2F2P2Q2BB2LLLBF 2LR2BLF2LS2QET2U2V2B PBLW2LLJX2LEY2M2Y2Z2 LA3LL2M2LB2BJ2BQB3C3 LQLD3BBE3QF3K2BF2G3L LQU2BG3H3QLLI3BBLBBJ 3BLB BLS2K3LLBBLL3 M2F2D3BBM3N3K2U2PLS2 V2LO3O3J3LB2V2H3F2BU 2K2LLM3LBP3LF2J3B3L2 LQ3BLLQQLLLLS2BBLBU2 QL LU2Z2T2LLBBLC3V2K3LB QM3BR3BB2LC3C3B BLBBLU2LH3LQBF2J2LS3 T3QU3LBK2LLV3K2W3LBX 3B BY3LO3U2U2BB J3BBBU2QBU2LBU2S2U2 D2BK2A3LM2LBF2Q Z3Z2LOLLLBLS2BM3LLLZ 3LLB A2JJ3 PBA2F2B J3BV2LLM2A4BEBLBBBBZ 2LM3S3B4LJ3B4K3LU2 C4Z3D4HBYBG3LLU2BBLK 2LK2LBLK2K2LBLD4BQ3O 3LLLE4 DLB2U2LLBF3BBLV2LLE3 LV2 Q3F2LBLB2WK2M2O LF4DU2BH2LG4BLF2H4LL U2BLLC3Z3LK2LDD4 M2BI4BBLJ3LLPL J3BQ3BLLL J4U2LBBU3M2P3LPM2LZ3 BLBLLLLK4Q3 LBL4LLF2YLLL2LM4BBH2 J3K3LM3F2 LBF3LA4LU2B2U2M3N3LL N3J2LLJ3Y3PJ2LLT3LB P3N4PU2Z2LLLU2BJF2LM 3BH3Z3BO4K2BBN3LBL B2LH2H3 BM2LU2P4M3U2LLLBM2O3 LU2 LF3J3LBJ3YF2N2Q4F2R4 BJ2BLBLS2JS2LBLK2U2M 3LU2LS4BU2LEBPLBP3V2 LYPLLLBK2F3BOLF3LBU2 V3F4B LT4M2F3BLLBBM2BLLD2 ELBU4U3BU2JU2LJLLLLB BLLU2LBLB3U2M3BF3M3V 4F2F2LM2B3U2LBLBW4L LLF2M3B U4BLLF3BZ3LF3 LA4LLLLLL F3F3F3B3LJ3LF3LLL LU4M2F2F3X4L BLU2V3LBLBM3BF3V3F3 LLF3 Y4BLJ3BM3U2F2F2BU4BB LLU4LLBF3Z4BF3BM2LBU 2BLM3F3F3LU4M2F3LBLU 2LF3LLLF3LBLLM3F3LM3 BLM3LBBLLM3LBLF2BU2B BM3Z4U2LU2B BLU2LLB4BLLLF3Z3LBF3 LJ BJ3YLF3LF3LLBLL LLLLBLLLBBL U4LG2LL M2K3F3F4LLM2LB3O4LLU 2F3BLW4LBLF3J3LF3LF3 F3M2 U2F3LBLBF2M2JLL LWBLLR3WLBM2LLLU2BLR LLZ4LWLM2LLLBLBJF3L M2BF3LBM2BLU2LLLBLLB LM2BBF3F2LJ2BLD2P3BH 2LU2BU2BLF3LM2BLF3U2 BM2L LF3LF3LBM2LJ2M2BZ4LF 3LM2LLM2B3F3J2LBLF3M 2LP3LF3LF3L A2N2U2LLLM2LLLU2 LM2

Pauline mine own bend o'er me thy soft breast	A
Shall pant to mine bend o'er me thy sweet eyes	B
And loosened hair and breathing lips arms	C
Drawing me to thee these build up a screen	D
To shut me in with thee and from all fear	E
So that I might unlock the sleepless brood	F
Of fancies from my soul their lurking place	G
Nor doubt that each would pass ne'er to return	H
To one so watched so loved and so secured	I
But what can guard thee but thy naked love	J
Ah dearest whoso sucks a poisoned wound	K
Envenoms his own veins thou art so good	L
So calm if thou should'st wear a brow less light	M
For some wild thought which but for me were kept	N
From out thy soul as from a sacred star	O
Yet till I have unlocked them it were vain	P
To hope to sing some woe would light on me	Q
Nature would point at one whose quivering lip	R
Was bathed in her enchantments whose brow burned	S
Beneath the crown to which her secrets knelt	T
Who learned the spell which can call up the dead	U
And then departed smiling like a fiend	V
Who has deceived God If such one should seek	W
Again her altars and stand robed and crowned	K
Amid the faithful sad confession first	X
Remorse and pardon and old claims renewed	F
Ere I can be as I shall be no more	Y
	-
I had been spared this shame if I had sate	Z
By thee for ever from the first in place	G
Of my wild dreams of beauty and of good	L
Or with them as an earnest of their truth	A2
No thought nor hope having been shut from thee	Q
No vague wish unexplained no wandering aim	B2
Sent back to bind on Fancy's wings and seek	W
Some strange fair world where it might be a law	C2
But doubting nothing had been led by thee	Q
Thro' youth and saved as one at length awaked	L
Who has slept thro' a peril Ah vain vain	P
	-
Thou lovest me the past is in its grave	D2
Tho' its ghost haunts us till this much is ours	E2
To cast away restraint lest a worse thing	F2
Wait for us in the darkness Thou lovest me	Q
And thou art to receive not love but faith	G2
For which thou wilt be mine and smile and take	H2
All shapes and shames and veil without a fear	E
That form which music follows like a slave	D2
And I look to thee and I trust in thee	Q
As in a Northern night one looks alway	I2
Unto the East for morn and spring a joy	J2
Thou seest then my aimless hopeless state	L
And resting on some few old feelings won	K2
Back by thy beauty would'st that I essay	L2
The task which was to me what now thou art	L
And why should I conceal one weakness more	Y
	-
Thou wilt remember one warm morn when Winter	M2
Crept aged from the earth and Spring's first breath	N2
Blew soft from the moist hills the black thorn boughs	O2
So dark in the bare wood when glistening	F2
In the sunshine were white with coming buds	P2
Like the bright side of a sorrow and the banks	Q2
Had violets opening from sleep like eyes	B
I walked with thee who knew not a deep shame	B2
Lurked beneath smiles and careless words which sought	L
To hide it till they wandered and were mute	L
As we stood listening on a sunny mound	L
To the wind murmuring in the damp copse	B
Like heavy breathings of some hidden thing	F2
Betrayed by sleep until the feeling rushed	L
That I was low indeed yet not so low	R2
As to endure the calmness of thine eyes	B
And so I told thee all while the cool breast	L
I leaned on altered not its quiet beating	F2
And long ere words like a hurt bird's complaint	L
Bade me look up and be what I had been	S2
I felt despair could never live by thee	Q
Thou wilt remember thou art not more dear	E
Than song was once to me and I ne'er sung	T2
But as one entering bright halls where all	U2
Will rise and shout for him Sure I must own	V2
That I am fallen having chosen gifts	B
Distinct from theirs that I am sad and fain	P
Would give up all to be but where I was	B
Not high as I had been if faithful found	L
But low and weak yet full of hope and sure	W2
Of goodness as of life that I would lust	L
All this gay mastery of mind to sit	L
Once more with them trusting in truth and love	J
And with an aim not being what I am	X2
Oh Pauline I am ruined who believed	L
That tho' my soul had floated from its sphere	E
Of wide dominion into the dim orb	Y2
Of self that it was strong and free as ever	M2
It has conformed itself to that dim orb	Y2
Reflecting all its shades and shapes and now	Z2
Must stay where it alone can be adored	L
I have felt this in dreams in dreams in which	A3
I seemed the fate from which I fled I felt	L
A strange delight in causing my decay	L2
I was a fiend in darkness chained for ever	M2
Within some ocean cave and ages rolled	L
Till thro' the cleft rock like a moonbeam came	B2
A white swan to remain with me and ages	B
Rolled yet I tired not of my first joy	J2
In gazing on the peace of its pure wings	B
And then I said It is most fair to me	Q
Yet its soft wings must sure have suffered change	B3
From the thick darkness sure its eyes are dim	C3
Its silver pinions must be cramped and numbed	L
With sleeping ages here it cannot leave me	Q
For it would seem in light beside its kind	L
Withered tho' here to me most beautiful	D3
And then I was a young witch whose blue eyes	B
As she stood naked by the river springs	B
Drew down a god I watched his radiant form	E3
Growing less radiant and it gladdened me	Q
Till one morn as he sat in the sunshine	F3
Upon my knees singing to me of heaven	K2
He turned to look at me ere I could lose	B
The grin with which I viewed his perishing	F2
And he shrieked and departed and sat long	G3
By his deserted throne but sunk at last	L
Murmuring as I kissed his lips and curled	L
Around him I am still a god to thee	Q
Still I can lay my soul bare in its fall	U2
For all the wandering and all the weakness	B
Will he a saddest comment on the song	G3
And if that done I can be young again	H3
I will give up all gained as willingly	Q
As one gives up a charm which shuts him out	L
From hope or part or care in human kind	L
As life wanes all its cares and strife and toil	I3
Seem strangely valueless while the old trees	B
Which grew by our youth's home the waving mass	B
Of climbing plants heavy with bloom and dew	L
The morning swallows with their songs like words	B
All these seem clear and only worth our thoughts	B
So aught connected with my early life	J3
My rude songs or my wild imaginings	B
How I look on them most distinct amid	L
The fever and the stir of after years	B
	-
I ne'er had ventured e'en to hope for this	B
Had not the glow I felt at His award	L
Assured me all was not extinct within	S2
Him whom all honor whose renown springs up	K3
Like sunlight which will visit all the world	L
So that e'en they who sneered at him at first	L
Come out to it as some dark spider crawls	B
From his foul nest which some lit torch invades	B
Yet spinning still new films for his retreat	L
Thou didst smile poet but can we forgive	L3
	-
Sun treader life and light be thine for ever	M2
Thou art gone from us years go by and spring	F2
Gladdens and the young earth is beautiful	D3
Yet thy songs come not other bards arise	B
But none like thee they stand thy majesties	B
Like mighty works which tell some Spirit there	M3
Hath sat regardless of neglect and scorn	N3
Till its long task completed it hath risen	K2
And left us never to return and all	U2
Rush in to peer and praise when all in vain	P
The air seems bright with thy past presence yet	L
But thou art still for me as thou hast been	S2
When I have stood with thee as on a throne	V2
With all thy dim creations gathered round	L
Like mountains and I felt of mould like them	O3
And creatures of my own were mixed with them	O3
Like things half lived catching and giving life	J3
But thou art still for me who have adored	L
Tho' single panting but to hear thy name	B2
Which I believed a spell to me alone	V2
Scarce deeming thou wert as a star to men	H3
As one should worship long a sacred spring	F2
Scarce worth a moth's flitting which long grasses cross	B
And one small tree embowers droopingly	U2
Joying to see some wandering insect won	K2
To live in its few rushes or some locust	L
To pasture on its boughs or some wild bird	L
Stoop for its freshness from the trackless air	M3
And then should find it but the fountain head	L
Long lost of some great river washing towns	B
And towers and seeing old woods which will live	P3
But by its banks untrod of human foot	L
Which when the great sun sinks lie quivering	F2
In light as some thing lieth half of life	J3
Before God's foot waiting a wondrous change	B3
Then girt with rocks which seek to turn or stay	L2
Its course in vain for it does ever spread	L
Like a sea's arm as it goes rolling on	Q3
Being the pulse of some great country so	B
Wert thou to me and art thou to the world	L
And I perchance half feel a strange regret	L
That I am not what I have been to thee	Q
Like a girl one has loved long silently	Q
In her first loveliness in some retreat	L
When first emerged all gaze and glow to view	L
Her fresh eyes and soft hair and lips which bleed	L
Like a mountain berry Doubtless it is sweet	L
To see her thus adored but there have been	S2
Moments when all the world was in his praise	B
Sweeter than all the pride of after hours	B
Yet Sun treader all hail from my heart's heart	L
I bid thee hail e'en in my wildest dreams	B
I am proud to feel I would have thrown up all	U2
The wreaths of fame which seemed o'er hanging me	Q
To have seen thee for a moment as thou art	L
	-
And if thou livest if thou lovest spirit	L
Remember me who set this final seal	U2
To wandering thought that one so pure as thou	Z2
Could never die Remember me who flung	T2
All honor from my soul yet paused and said	L
There is one spark of love remaining yet	L
For I have nought in common with him shapes	B
Which followed him avoid me and foul forms	B
Seek me which ne'er could fasten on his mind	L
And tho' I feel how low I am to him	C3
Yet I aim not even to catch a tone	V2
Of all the harmonies which he called up	K3
So one gleam still remains altho' the last	L
Remember me who praise thee e'en with tears	B
For never more shall I walk calm with thee	Q
Thy sweet imaginings are as an air	M3
A melody some wond'rous singer sings	B
Which though it haunt men oft in the still eve	R3
They dream not to essay yet it no less	B
But more is honored I was thine in shame	B2
And now when all thy proud renown is out	L
I am a watcher whose eyes have grown dim	C3
With looking for some star which breaks on him	C3
Altered and worn and weak and full of tears	B
	-
Autumn has come like Spring returned to us	B
Won from her girlishness like one returned	L
A friend that was a lover nor forgets	B
The first warm love but full of sober thoughts	B
Of fading years whose soft mouth quivers yet	L
With the old smile but yet so changed and still	U2
And here am I the scoffer who have probed	L
Life's vanity won by a word again	H3
Into my old life for one little word	L
Of this sweet friend who lives in loving me	Q
Lives strangely on my thoughts and looks and words	B
As fathoms down some nameless ocean thing	F2
Its silent course of quietness and joy	J2
O dearest if indeed I tell the past	L
May'st thou forget it as a sad sick dream	S3
Or if it linger my lost soul too soon	T3
Sinks to itself and whispers we shall be	Q
But closer linked two creatures whom the earth	U3
Bears singly with strange feelings unrevealed	L
But to each other or two lonely things	B
Created by some Power whose reign is done	K2
Having no part in God or his bright world	L
I am to sing whilst ebbing day dies soft	L
As a lean scholar dies worn o'er his book	V3
And in the heaven stars steal out one by one	K2
As hunted men steal to their mountain watch	W3
I must not think lest this new impulse die	L
In which I trust I have no confidence	B
So I will sing on fast as fancies come	X3
Rudely the verse being as the mood it paints	B
	-
I strip my mind bare whose first elements	B
I shall unveil not as they struggled forth	Y3
In infancy nor as they now exist	L
That I am grown above them and can rule them	O3
But in that middle stage when they were full	U2
Yet ere I had disposed them to my will	U2
And then I shall show how these elements	B
Produced my present state and what it is	B
	-
I am made up of an intensest life	J3
Of a most clear idea of consciousness	B
Of self distinct from all its qualities	B
From all affections passions feelings powers	B
And thus far it exists if tracked in all	U2
But linked in me to self supremacy	Q
Existing as a centre to all things	B
Most potent to create and rule and call	U2
Upon all things to minister to it	L
And to a principle of restlessness	B
Which would be all have see know taste feel all	U2
This is myself and I should thus have been	S2
Though gifted lower than the meanest soul	U2
	-
And of my powers one springs up to save	D2
From utter death a soul with such desires	B
Confined to clay which is the only one	K2
Which marks me an imagination which	A3
Has been an angel to me coming not	L
In fitful visions but beside me ever	M2
And never failing me so tho' my mind	L
Forgets not not a shred of life forgets	B
Yet I can take a secret pride in calling	F2
The dark past up to quell it regally	Q
	-
A mind like this must dissipate itself	Z3
But I have always had one lode star now	Z2
As I look back I see that I have wasted	L
Or progressed as I looked toward that star	O
A need a trust a yearning after God	L
A feeling I have analysed but late	L
But it existed and was reconciled	L
With a neglect of all I deemed His laws	B
Which yet when seen in others I abhorred	L
I felt as one beloved and so shut in	S2
From fear and thence I date my trust in signs	B
And omens for I saw God everywhere	M3
And I can only lay it to the fruit	L
Of a sad after time that I could doubt	L
Even His being having always felt	L
His presence never acting from myself	Z3
Still trusting in a hand that leads me through	L
All dangers and this feeling still has fought	L
Against my weakest reason and resolves	B
	-
And I can love nothing and this dull truth	A2
Has come the last but sense supplies a love	J
Encircling me and mingling with my life	J3
	-
These make myself for I have sought in vain	P
To trace how they were formed by circumstance	B
For I still find them turning my wild youth	A2
Where they alone displayed themselves converting	F2
All objects to their use now see their course	B
	-
They came to me in my first dawn of life	J3
Which passed alone with wisest ancient books	B
All halo girt with fancies of my own	V2
And I myself went with the tale a god	L
Wandering after beauty or a giant	L
Standing vast in the sunset an old hunter	M2
Talking with gods or a high crested chief	A4
Sailing with troops of friends to Tenedos	B
I tell you nought has ever been so clear	E
As the place the time the fashion of those lives	B
I had not seen a work of lofty art	L
Nor woman's beauty nor sweet nature's face	B
Yet I say never morn broke clear as those	B
On the dim clustered isles in the blue sea	B
The deep groves and white temples and wet caves	B
And nothing ever will surprise me now	Z2
Who stood beside the naked Swift footed	L
Who bound my forehead with Proserpine's hair	M3
An' strange it is that I who could so dream	S3
Should e'er have stooped to aim at aught beneath	B4
Aught low or painful but I never doubted	L
So as I grew I rudely shaped my life	J3
To my immediate wants yet strong beneath	B4
Was a vague sense of power folded up	K3
A sense that tho' those shadowy times were past	L
Their spirit dwelt in me and I should rule	U2
	-
Then came a pause and long restraint chained down	C4
My soul till it was changed I lost myself	Z3
And were it not that I so loathe that time	D4
I could recall how first I learned to turn	H
My mind against itself and the effects	B
In deeds for which remorse were vain as for	Y
The wanderings of delirious dream yet thence	B
Came cunning envy falsehood which so long	G3
Have spotted me at length I was restored	L
Yet long the influence remained and nought	L
But the still life I led apart from all	U2
Which left my soul to seek its old delights	B
Could e'er have brought me thus far back to peace	B
As peace returned I sought out some pursuit	L
And song rose no new impulse but the one	K2
With which all others best could be combined	L
My life has not been that of those whose heaven	K2
Was lampless save where poesy shone out	L
But as a clime where glittering mountain tops	B
And glancing sea and forests steeped in light	L
Give back reflected the far flashing sun	K2
For music which is earnest of a heaven	K2
Seeing we know emotions strange by it	L
Not else to be revealed is as a voice	B
A low voice calling Fancy as a friend	L
To the green woods in the gay summer time	D4
And she fills all the way with dancing shapes	B
Which have made painters pale and they go on	Q3
While stars look at them and winds call to them	O3
As they leave life's path for the twilight world	L
Where the dead gather This was not at first	L
For I scarce knew what I would do I had	L
No wish to paint no yearning but I sang	E4
	-
And first I sang as I in dream have seen	D
Music wait on a lyrist for some thought	L
Yet singing to herself until it came	B2
I turned to those old times and scenes where all	U2
That's beautiful had birth for me and made	L
Rude verses on them all and then I paused	L
I had done nothing so I sought to know	B
What mind had yet achieved No fear was mine	F3
As I gazed on the works of mighty bards	B
In the first joy at finding my own thoughts	B
Recorded and my powers exemplified	L
And feeling their aspirings were my own	V2
And then I first explored passion and mind	L
And I began afresh I rather sought	L
To rival what I wondered at than form	E3
Creations of my own so much was light	L
Lent back by others yet much was my own	V2
	-
I paused again a change was coming on	Q3
I was no more a boy the past was breaking	F2
Before the coming and like fever worked	L
I first thought on myself and here my powers	B
Burst out I dreamed not of restraint but gazed	L
On all things schemes and systems went and came	B2
And I was proud being vainest of the weak	W
In wandering o'er them to seek out some one	K2
To be my own as one should wander o'er	M2
The white way for a star	O
	-
	-
	-
On one whom praise of mine would not offend	L
Who was as calm as beauty being such	F4
Unto mankind as thou to me Pauline	D
Believing in them and devoting all	U2
His soul's strength to their winning back to peace	B
Who sent forth hopes and longings for their sake	H2
Clothed in all passion's melodies which first	L
Caught me and set me as to a sweet task	G4
To gather every breathing of his songs	B
And woven with them there were words which seemed	L
A key to a new world the muttering	F2
Of angels of something unguessed by man	H4
How my heart beat as I went on and found	L
Much there I felt my own mind had conceived	L
But there living and burning soon the whole	U2
Of his conceptions dawned on me their praise	B
Is in the tongues of men men's brows are high	L
When his name means a triumph and a pride	L
So my weak hands may well forbear to dim	C3
What then seemed my bright fate I threw myself	Z3
To meet it I was vowed to liberty	L
Men were to be as gods and earth as heaven	K2
And I ah what a life was mine to be	L
My whole soul rose to meet it Now Pauline	D
I shall go mad if I recall that time	D4
	-
	-
	-
O let me look back e'er I leave for ever	M2
The time which was an hour that one waits	B
For a fair girl that comes a withered hag	I4
And I was lonely far from woods and fields	B
And amid dullest sights who should be loose	B
As a stag yet I was full of joy who lived	L
With Plato and who had the key to life	J3
And I had dimly shaped my first attempt	L
And many a thought did I build up on thought	L
As the wild bee hangs cell to cell in vain	P
For I must still go on my mind rests not	L
	-
'Twas in my plan to look on real life	J3
Which was all new to me my theories	B
Were firm so I left them to look upon	Q3
Men and their cares and hopes and fears and joys	B
And as I pondered on them all I sought	L
How best life's end might be attained an end	L
Comprising every joy I deeply mused	L
	-
And suddenly without heart wreck I awoke	J4
As from a dream I said 'twas beautiful	U2
Yet but a dream and so adieu to it	L
As some world wanderer sees in a far meadow	B
Strange towers and walled gardens thick with trees	B
Where singing goes on and delicious mirth	U3
And laughing fairy creatures peeping over	M2
And on the morrow when he comes to live	P3
For ever by those springs and trees fruit flushed	L
And fairy bowers all his search is vain	P
Well I remember	M2
First went my hopes of perfecting mankind	L
And faith in them then freedom in itself	Z3
And virtue in itself and then my motives' ends	B
And powers and loves and human love went last	L
I felt this no decay because new powers	B
Rose as old feelings left wit mockery	L
And happiness for I had oft been sad	L
Mistrusting my resolves but now I cast	L
Hope joyously away I laughed and said	L
No more of this I must not think at length	K4
I look'd again to see how all went on	Q3
	-
My powers were greater as some temple seemed	L
My soul where nought is changed and incense rolls	B
Around the altar only God is gone	L4
And some dark spirit sitteth in His seat	L
So I passed through the temple and to me	L
Knelt troops of shadows and they cried Hail king	F2
We serve thee now and thou shalt serve no more	Y
Call on us prove us let us worship thee	L
And I said Are ye strong let fancy bear me	L
Far from the past And I was borne away	L2
As Arab birds float sleeping in the wind	L
O'er deserts towers and forests I being calm	M4
And I said I have nursed up energies	B
They will prey on me And a band knelt low	B
And cried Lord we are here and we will make	H2
A way for thee in thine appointed life	J3
O look on us And I said Ye will worship	K3
Me but my heart must worship too They shouted	L
Thyself thou art our king So I stood there	M3
Smiling	F2
	-
And buoyant and rejoicing was the spirit	L
With which I looked out how to end my days	B
I felt once more myself my powers were mine	F3
I found that youth or health so lifted me	L
That spite of all life's vanity no grief	A4
Came nigh me I must ever be light hearted	L
And that this feeling was the only veil	U2
Betwixt me and despair so if age came	B2
I should be as a wreck linked to a soul	U2
Yet fluttering or mind broken and aware	M3
Of my decay So a long summer morn	N3
Found me and e'er noon came I had resolved	L
No age should come on me ere youth's hopes went	L
For I would wear myself out like that morn	N3
Which wasted not a sunbeam every joy	J2
I would make mine and die and thus I sought	L
To chain my spirit down which I had fed	L
With thoughts of fame I said the troubled life	J3
Of genius seen so bright when working forth	Y3
Some trusted end seems sad when all in vain	P
Most sad when men have parted with all joy	J2
For their wild fancy's sake which waited first	L
As an obedient spirit when delight	L
Came not with her alone but alters soon	T3
Coming darkened seldom hasting to depart	L
Leaving a heavy darkness and warm tears	B
	-
But I shall never lose her she will live	P3
Brighter for such seclusion I but catch	N4
A hue a glance of what I sing so pain	P
Is linked with pleasure for I ne'er may tell	U2
The radiant sights which dazzle me but now	Z2
They shall be all my own and let them fade	L
Untold others shall rise as fair as fast	L
And when all's done the few dim gleams transferred	L
For a new thought sprung up that it were well	U2
To leave all shadowy hopes and weave such lays	B
As would encircle me with praise and love	J
So I should not die utterly I should bring	F2
One branch from the gold forest like the night	L
Of old tales witnessing I had been there	M3
And when all's done how vain seems e'en success	B
And all the influence poets have o'er men	H3
'Tis a fine thing that one weak as myself	Z3
Should sit in his lone room knowing the words	B
He utters in his solitude shall move	O4
Men like a swift wind that tho' he be forgotten	K2
Fair eyes shall glisten when his beauteous dreams	B
Of love come true in happier frames than his	B
Ay the still night brought thoughts like these but morn	N3
Came and the mockery again laughed out	L
At hollow praises and smiles almost sneers	B
And my soul's idol seemed to whisper me	L
	-
To dwell with him and his unhonoured name	B2
And I well knew my spirit that would be	L
First in the struggle and again would make	H2
All bow to it and I would sink again	H3
	-
	-
	-
And then know that this curse will come on us	B
To see our idols perish we may wither	M2
Nor marvel we are clay but our low fate	L
Should not extend them whom trustingly	U2
We sent before into Time's yawning gulf	P4
To face what e'er may lurk in darkness there	M3
To see the painter's glory pass and feel	U2
Sweet music move us not as once or worst	L
To see decaying wits ere the frail body	L
Decays Nought makes me trust in love so really	L
As the delight of the contented lowness	B
With which I gaze on souls I'd keep for ever	M2
In beauty I'd be sad to equal them	O3
I'd feed their fame e'en from my heart's best blood	L
Withering unseen that they might flourish still	U2
	-
	-
	-
Pauline my sweet friend thou dost not forget	L
How this mood swayed me when thou first wert mine	F3
When I had set myself to live this life	J3
Defying all opinion Ere thou camest	L
I was most happy sweet for old delights	B
Had come like birds again music my life	J3
I nourished more than ever and old lore	Y
Loved for itself and all it shows the king	F2
Treading the purple calmly to his death	N2
While round him like the clouds of eve all dusk	Q4
The giant shades of fate silently flitting	F2
Pile the dim outline of the coming doom	R4
And him sitting alone in blood while friends	B
Are hunting far in the sunshine and the boy	J2
With his white breast and brow and clustering curls	B
Streaked with his mother's blood and striving hard	L
To tell his story ere his reason goes	B
And when I loved thee as I've loved so oft	L
Thou lovedst me and I wondered and looked in	S2
My heart to find some feeling like such love	J
Believing I was still what I had been	S2
And soon I found all faith had gone from me	L
And the late glow of life changing like clouds	B
'Twas not the morn blush widening into day	L
But evening coloured by the dying sun	K2
While darkness is quick hastening I will tell	U2
Sly state as though 'twere none of mine despair	M3
Cannot come near me thus it is with me	L
Souls alter not and mine must progress still	U2
And this I knew not when I flung away	L
My youth's chief aims I ne'er supposed the	S4
Of what few I retained for no resource	B
Awaits me now behold the change of all	U2
I cannot chain my soul it will not rest	L
In its clay prison this most narrow sphere	E
It has strange powers and feelings and desires	B
Which I cannot account for nor explain	P
But which I stifle not being bound to trust	L
All feelings equally to hear all sides	B
Yet I cannot indulge them and they live	P3
Referring to some state or life unknown	V2
	-
My selfishness is satiated not	L
It wears me like a flame my hunger for	Y
All pleasure howsoe'er minute is pain	P
I envy how I envy him whose mind	L
Turns with its energies to some one end	L
To elevate a sect or a pursuit	L
However mean so my still baffled hopes	B
Seek out abstractions I would have but one	K2
Delight on earth so it were wholly mine	F3
One rapture all my soul could fill and this	B
Wild feeling places me in dream afar	O
In some wide country where the eye can see	L
No end to the far hills and dales bestrewn	F3
With shining towers and dwellings I grow mad	L
Well nigh to know not one abode but holds	B
Some pleasure for my soul could grasp them all	U2
But must remain with this vile form I look	V3
With hope to age at last which quenching much	F4
May let me concentrate the sparks it spares	B
	-
This restlessness of passion meets in me	L
A craving after knowledge the sole proof	T4
Of a commanding will is in that power	M2
Repressed for I beheld it in its dawn	F3
That sleepless harpy with its budding wings	B
And I considered whether I should yield	L
All hopes and fears to live alone with it	L
Finding a recompense in its wild eyes	B
And when I found that I should perish so	B
I bade its wild eyes close from me for ever	M2
And I am left alone with my delights	B
So it lies in me a chained thing still ready	L
To serve me if I loose its slightest bond	L
I cannot but be proud of my bright slave	D2
	-
And thus I know this earth is not my sphere	E
For I cannot so narrow me but that	L
I still exceed it in their elements	B
My love would pass my reason but since here	U4
Love must receive its object from this earth	U3
While reason will be chainless the few truths	B
Caught from its wanderings have sufficed to quell	U2
All love below then what must be that love	J
Which with the object it demands would quell	U2
Reason tho' it soared with the seraphim	L
No what I feel may pass all human love	J
Yet fall far short of what my love should be	L
And yet I seem more warped in this than aught	L
For here myself stands out more hideously	L
I can forget myself in friendship fame	L
Or liberty or love of mighty souls	B
	-
	-
	-
But I begin to know what thing hate is	B
To sicken and to quiver and grow white	L
And I myself have furnished its first prey	L
All my sad weaknesses this wavering will	U2
This selfishness this still decaying frame	L
But I must never grieve while I can pass	B
Far from such thoughts as now Andromeda	L
And she is with me years roll I shall change	B3
But change can touch her not so beautiful	U2
With her dark eyes earnest and still and hair	M3
Lifted and spread by the salt sweeping breeze	B
And one red beam all the storm leaves in heaven	F3
Resting upon her eyes and face and hair	M3
As she awaits the snake on the wet beach	V4
By the dark rock and the white wave just breaking	F2
At her feet quite naked and alone a thing	F2
You doubt not nor fear for secure that God	L
Will come in thunder from the stars to save her	M2
Let it pass I will call another change	B3
I will be gifted with a wond'rous soul	U2
Yet sunk by error to men's sympathy	L
And in the wane of life yet only so	B
As to call up their fears and there shall come	L
A time requiring youth's best energies	B
And straight I fling age sorrow sickness off	W4
And I rise triumphing over my decay	L
	-
	-
	-
And thus it is that I supply the chasm	L
'Twixt what I am and all that I would be	L
But then to know nothing to hope for nothing	F2
To seize on life's dull joys from a strange tear	M3
Lest being them all's lost and nought remains	B
	-
	-
	-
There's some vile juggle with my reason here	U4
I feel I but explain to my own loss	B
These impulses they live no less the same	L
Liberty what though I despair my blood	L
Rose not at a slave's name proudlier than now	F3
And sympathy obscured by sophistries	B
Why have not I sought refuge in myself	Z3
But for the woes I saw and could not stay	L
And love do I not love thee my Pauline	F3
	-
	-
	-
I cherish prejudice lest I be left	L
Utterly loveless witness this belief	A4
In poets tho' sad change has come there too	L
No more I leave myself to follow them	L
Unconsciously I measure me by them	L
Let me forget it and I cherish most	L
My love of England how her name a word	L
Of her's in a strange tongue makes my heart beat	L
	-
	-
	-
Pauline I could do any thing not now	F3
All's fever but when calm shall come again	F3
I am prepared I have made life my own	F3
I would not be content with all the change	B3
One frame should feel but I have gone in thought	L
Thro' all conjuncture I have lived all life	J3
When it is most alive where strangest fate	L
New shapes it past surmise the tales of men	F3
Bit by some curse or in the grasp of doom	L
Half visible and still increasing round	L
Or crowning their wide being's general aim	L
	-
	-
	-
These are wild fancies but I feel sweet friend	L
As one breathing his weakness to the ear	U4
Of pitying angel dear as a winter flower	M2
A slight flower growing alone and offering	F2
Its frail cup of three leaves to the cold sun	F3
Yet and confiding like the triumph	X4
Of a child and why am I not worthy thee	L
	-
	-
	-
I can live all the life of plants and gaze	B
Drowsily on the bees that flit and play	L
Or bare my breast for sunbeams which will kill	U2
Or open in the night of sounds to look	V3
For the dim stars I can mount with the bird	L
Leaping airily his pyramid of leaves	B
And twisted boughs of some tall mountain tree	L
Or rise cheerfully springing to the heavens	B
Or like a fish breathe in the morning air	M3
In the misty sun warm water or with flowers	B
And trees can smile in light at the sinking sun	F3
Just as the storm comes as a girl would look	V3
On a departing lover most serene	F3
	-
Pauline come with me see how I could build	L
A home for us out of the world in thought	L
I am inspired come with me Pauline	F3
	-
Night and one single ridge of narrow path	Y4
Between the sullen river and the woods	B
Waving and muttering for the moonless night	L
Has shaped them into images of life	J3
Like the upraising of the giant ghosts	B
Looking on earth to know how their sons fare	M3
Thou art so close by me the roughest swell	U2
Of wind in the tree tops hides not the panting	F2
Of thy soft breasts no we will pass to morning	F2
Morning the rocks and vallies and old woods	B
How the sun brightens in the mist and here	U4
Half in the air like creatures of the place	B
Trusting the element living on high boughs	B
That swing in the wind look at the golden spray	L
Flung from the foam sheet of the cataract	L
Amid the broken rocks shall we stay here	U4
With the wild hawks no ere the hot noon come	L
Dive we down safe see this our new retreat	L
Walled in with a sloped mound of matted shrubs	B
Dark tangled old and green still sloping down	F3
To a small pool whose waters lie asleep	Z4
Amid the trailing boughs turned water plants	B
And tall trees over arch to keep us in	F3
Breaking the sunbeams into emerald shafts	B
And in the dreamy water one small group
Of two or three strange trees are got together	M2
Wondering at all around as strange beasts herd	L
Together far from their own land all wildness	B
No turf nor moss for boughs and plants pave all	U2
And tongues of bank go shelving in the waters	B
Where the pale throated snake reclines his head	L
And old grey stones lie making eddies there	M3
The wild mice cross them dry shod deeper in	F3
Shut thy soft eyes now look still deeper in	F3
This is the very heart of the woods all round	L
Mountain like heaped above us yet even here	U4
One pond of water gleams far off the river	M2
Sweeps like a sea barred out from land but one	F3
One thin clear sheet has over leaped and wound	L
Into this silent depth which gained it lies	B
Still as but let by sufferance the trees bend	L
O'er it as wild men watch a sleeping girl	U2
And thro' their roots long creeping plants stretch out	L
Their twined hair steeped and sparkling farther on	F3
Tall rushes and thick flag knots have combined	L
To narrow it so at length a silver thread	L
It winds all noiselessly thro' the deep wood	L
Till thro' a cleft way thro' the moss and stone	F3
It joins its parent river with a shout	L
Up for the glowing day leave the old woods	B
See they part like a ruined arch the sky	L
Nothing but sky appears so close the root	L
And grass of the hill top level with the air	M3
Blue sunny air where a great cloud floats laden	F3
With light like a dead whale that white birds pick
Floating away in the sun in some north sea	L
Air air fresh life blood thin and searching air	M3
The clear dear breath of God that loveth us	B
Where small birds reel and winds take their delight	L
Water is beautiful but not like air	M3
See where the solid azure waters lie	L
Made as of thickened air and down below	B
The fern ranks like a forest spread themselves	B
As tho' each pore could feel the element	L
Where the quick glancing serpent winds his way	L
Float with me there Pauline but not like air	M3
Down the hill stop a clump of trees see set	L
On a heap of rocks which look o'er the far plains	B
And envious climbing shrubs would mount to rest	L
And peer from their spread boughs There they wave looking	F2
At the muleteers who whistle as they go	B
To the merry chime of their morning bells and all	U2
The little smoking cots and fields and banks	B
And copses bright in the sun my spirit wanders	B
Hedge rows for me still living hedge rows where	M3
The bushes close and clasp above and keep	Z4
Thought in I am concentrated I feel	U2
But my soul saddens when it looks beyond	L
I cannot be immortal nor taste all	U2
O God where does this tend these straggling aims	B
	-
What would I have what is this sleep which seems	B
To bound all can there be a waking point	L
Of crowning life The soul would never rule	U2
It would be first in all things it would have
Its utmost pleasure filled but that complete	L
Commanding for commanding sickens it	L
The last point that I can trace is rest beneath	B4
Some better essence than itself in weakness	B
This is myself not what I think should be	L
And what is that I hunger for but God	L
My God my God let me for once look on thee	L
As tho' nought else existed we alone	F3
And as creation crumbles my soul's spark
Expands till I can say Even from myself	Z3
I need thee and I feel thee and I love thee	L
I do not plead my rapture in thy works	B
For love of thee or that I feel as one	F3
Who cannot die but there is that in me	L
Which turns to thee which loves or which should love	J
	-
Why have I girt myself with this hell dress	B
Why have I laboured to put out my life	J3
Is it not in my nature to adore	Y
And e'en for all my reason do I not	L
Feel him and thank him and pray to him Now	F3
Can I forego the trust that he loves me	L
Do I not feel a love which only ONE	F3
O thou pale form so dimly seen deep eyed	L
I have denied thee calmly do I not	L
Pant when I read of thy consummate deeds	B
And burn to see thy calm pure truths out flash
The brightest gleams of earth's philosophy	L
Do I not shake to hear aught question thee	L
	-
If I am erring save me madden me	L
Take from me powers and pleasures let me die	L
Ages so I see thee I am knit round	L
As with a charm by sin and lust and pride	L
Yet tho' my wandering dreams have seen all shapes	B
Of strange delight oft have I stood by thee	L
Have I been keeping lonely watch with thee	L
In the damp night by weeping Olivet	L
Or leaning on thy bosom proudly less	B
Or dying with thee on the lonely cross	B
Or witnessing thy bursting from the tomb	L
	-
A mortal sin's familiar friend doth here	U4
Avow that he will give all earth's reward	L
But to believe and humbly teach the faith	G2
In suffering and poverty and shame	L
Only believing he is not unloved	L
	-
And now my Pauline I am thine for ever	M2
I feel the spirit which has buoyed me up	K3
Deserting me and old shades gathering on	F3
Yet while its last light waits I would say much	F4
And chiefly I am glad that I have said	L
That love which I have ever felt for thee	L
But seldom told our hearts so beat together	M2
That speech is mockery but when dark hours come	L
And I feel sad and thou sweet deem'st it strange	B3
A sorrow moves me thou canst not remove	O4
Look on this lay I dedicate to thee	L
Which thro' thee I began and which I end	L
Collecting the last gleams to strive to tell	U2
That I am thine and more than ever now	F3
That I am sinking fast yet tho' I sink
No less I feel that thou hast brought me bliss	B
And that I still may hope to win it back
Thou know'st dear friend I could not think all calm	L
For wild dreams followed me and bore me off	W4
And all was indistinct Ere one was caught	L
Another glanced so dazzled by my wealth
Knowing not which to leave nor which to choose	B
For all my thoughts so floated nought was fixed	L
And then thou said'st a perfect bard was one	F3
Who shadowed out the stages of all life	J3
And so thou badest me tell this my first stage
'Tis done and even now I feel all dim the shift	L
Of thought These are my last thoughts I discern	F3
Faintly immortal life and truth and good	L
And why thou must be mine is that e'en now	F3
In the dim hush of night that I have done	F3
With fears and sad forebodings I look thro'	M2
	-
And say E'en at the last I have her still	U2
With her delicious eyes as clear as heaven	F3
When rain in a quick shower has beat down mist	L
And clouds float white in the sun like broods of swans	B
How the blood lies upon her cheek all spread	L
As thinned by kisses only in her lips	B
It wells and pulses like a living thing	F2
And her neck looks like marble misted o'er	M2
With love breath a dear thing to kiss and love	J
Standing beneath me looking out to me	L
As I might kill her and be loved for it	L
	-
Love me love me Pauline love nought but me	L
Leave me not All these words are wild and weak	W
Believe them not Pauline I stooped so low	B
But to behold thee purer by my side	L
To show thou art my breath my life a last	L
Resource an extreme want never believe	R3
Aught better could so look to thee nor seek	W
Again the world of good thoughts left for me	L
There were bright troops of undiscovered suns	B
Each equal in their radiant course There were	M2
Clusters of far fair isles which ocean kept	L
For his own joy and his waves broke on them	L
Without a choice And there was a dim crowd	L
Of visions each a part of the dim whole	U2
And a star left his peers and came with peace	B
Upon a storm and all eyes pined for him	L
And one isle harboured a sea beaten ship	R
And the crew wandered in its bowers and plucked	L
Its fruits and gave up all their hopes for home	L
And one dream came to a pale poet's sleep	Z4
And he said I am singled out by God	L
No sin must touch me I am very weak	W
But what I would express is Leave me not	L
Still sit by me with beating breast and hair	M2
Loosened watching earnest by my side	L
Turning my books or kissing me when I	L
Look up like summer wind Be still to me	L
A key to music's mystery when mind fails	B
A reason a solution and a clue	L
You see I have thrown off my prescribed rules	B
I hope in myself and hope and pant and love	J
You'll find me better know me more than when	F3
You loved me as I was Smile not I have
Much yet to gladden you to dawn on you	L
	-
No more of the past I'll look within no more	M2
I have too trusted to my own wild wants	B
Too trusted to myself to intuition	F3
Draining the wine alone in the still night	L
And seeing how as gathering films arose	B
As by an inspiration life seemed bare	M2
And grinning in its vanity and ends	B
Hard to be dreamed of stared at me as fixed	L
And others suddenly became all foul	U2
As a fair witch turned an old hag at night	L
No more of this we will go hand in hand	L
I will go with thee even as a child	L
Looking no further than thy sweet commands	B
And thou hast chosen where this life shall be	L
The land which gave me thee shall be our home	L
Where nature lies all wild amid her lakes	B
And snow swathed mountains and vast pines all girt	L
With ropes of snow where nature lies all bare	M2
Suffering none to view her but a race	B
Most stinted and deformed like the mute dwarfs	B
Which wait upon a naked Indian queen	F3
And there the time being when the heavens are thick
With storms I'll sit with thee while thou dost sing	F2
Thy native songs gay as a desert bird	L
Who crieth as he flies for perfect joy	J2
Or telling me old stories of dead knights	B
Or I will read old lays to thee how she	L
The fair pale sister went to her chill grave	D2
With power to love and to be loved and live	P3
Or will go together like twin gods	B
Of the infernal world with scented lamp
Over the dead to call and to awake	H2
Over the unshaped images which lie	L
Within my mind's cave only leaving all	U2
That tells of the past doubts So when spring comes	B
And sunshine comes again like an old smile	U2
And the fresh waters and awakened birds	B
And budding woods await us I shall be	L
Prepared and we will go and think again	F3
And all old loves shall come to us but changed	L
As some sweet thought which harsh words veiled before	M2
Feeling God loves us and that all that errs	B
Is a strange dream which death will dissipate	L
And then when I am firm we'll seek again	F3
My own land and again I will approach
My old designs and calmly look on all	U2
The works of my past weakness as one views	B
Some scene where danger met him long before	M2
Ah that such pleasant life should be but dreamed	L
	-
But whate'er come of it and tho' it fade	L
And tho' ere the cold morning all be gone	F3
As it will be tho' music wait for me	L
And fair eyes and bright wine laughing like sin	F3
Which steals back softly on a soul half saved	L
And I be first to deny all and despise	B
This verse and these intents which seem so fair	M2
Still this is all my own this moment's pride	L
No less I make an end in perfect joy	J2
E'en in my brightest time a lurking fear	M2
Possessed me I well knew my weak resolves	B
I felt the witchery that makes mind sleep	Z4
Over its treasures as one half afraid	L
To make his riches definite but now	F3
These feelings shall not utterly be lost	L
I shall not know again that nameless care	M2
Lest leaving all undone in youth some new	L
And undreamed end reveal itself too late	L
For this song shall remain to tell for ever	M2
That when I lost all hope of such a change	B3
Suddenly Beauty rose on me again	F3
No less I make an end in perfect joy	J2
For I having thus again been visited	L
Shall doubt not many another bliss awaits	B
And tho' this weak soul sink and darkness come	L
Some little word shall light it up again	F3
And I shall see all clearer and love better	M2
I shall again go o'er the tracts of thought	L
As one who has a right and I shall live	P3
With poets calmer purer still each time	L
And beauteous shapes will come to me again	F3
And unknown secrets will be trusted me	L
Which were not mine when wavering but now	F3
I shall be priest and lover as of old	L
	-
Sun treader I believe in God and truth	A2
And love and as one just escaped from death	N2
Would bind himself in bands of friends to feel	U2
He lives indeed so I would lean on thee	L
Thou must be ever with me most in gloom	L
When such shall come but chiefly when I die	L
For I seem dying as one going in the dark
To fight a giant and live thou for ever	M2
And be to all what thou hast been to me	L
All in whom this wakes pleasant thoughts of me	L
Know my last state is happy free from doubt	L
Or touch of fear Love me and wish me well	U2
	-
	-
RICHMOND	L
October	M2

Robert Browning

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