The Progress Of A Divine: Satire Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Richard Savage

The Progress Of A Divine: Satire Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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All priests are not the same be understood	A
Priests are like other folks some bad some good	A
What's vice or virtue sure admits no doubt	B
Then clergy with church mission or without	B
When good or bad annex we to your name	C
The greater honour or the greater shame	C
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	-
Mark how a country Curate once could rise	D
Tho' neither learn'd nor witty good nor wise	D
Of innkeeper or butcher if begot	E
At Cam or Isis bred imports it not	F
A Servitor he was Of hall or college	G
Ask not to neither credit is his knowledge	H
	-
	-
Four years thro' foggy ale yet made him see	I
Just his neck verse to read and take degree	I
A gown with added sleeves he now may wear	J
While his round cap transforms into a square	J
Him quite unsconc'd the butt'ry book shall own	K
At pray'rs tho' ne'er devout so constant known	K
Let testimonials then his worth disclose	L
He gains a cassock beaver and a rose	L
A Curate now his furniture review	M
A few old sermons and a bottle screw	M
A Curate Where His name cries one recite	N
Or tell me this Is pudding his delight	N
Why our's loves pudding Does he so 'tis he	I
A Servitor Sure Curl will find a key	I
	-
	-
His Alma Mater now he quite forsakes	L
She gave him one degree and two he takes	L
He now the hood and sleeve of Master wears	L
Doctor quoth they and lo a scarf he bears	L
A swelling russling glossy scarf yet he	I
By peer unqualify'd as by degree	I
	-
	-
This Curate learns church dues and law to tease	L
When time shall serve for tithes and surplice fees	L
When 'scapes some portion'd girl from guardian's pow'r	O
He the snug licence gets for nuptual hour	P
And rend'ring vain her parent's prudent cares	L
To sharper weds her and with sharper shares	L
Let babes of poverty convulsive lie	Q
No bottle waits tho' babes unsprinkled die	Q
Half office serves the fun'ral if it bring	R
No hope of scarf or hatband gloves or ring	R
Does any wealthy fair desponding lie	Q
With scrup'lous conscience tho' she knows not why	Q
Would cordial counsel make the patient well	S
Our priest shall raise the vapours not dispel	S
His cant some orphan's piteous case shall bring	R
He bids her give the widow's heart to sing	R
He pleads for age in want and while she lingers	L
Thus snares her charity with bird lime fingers	L
	-
	-
Now in the patron's mansion see the wight	N
Factious for pow'r a son of Levy right	N
Servile to 'squires to vassals proud his mien	T
As Codex to inferior Clergy seen	T
He flatters till you blush but when withdrawn	U
'Tis his to slander as 'twas his to fawn	U
He pumps for secrets pries o'er servants' ways	L
And like a meddling priest can mischief raise	L
And from such mischief thus can plead desert	V
'Tis all my patron's int'rest at my heart	W
Deep in his mind all wrongs from others live	X
None more need pardon and none less forgive	Y
	-
	-
At what does next his erudition aim	C
To kill the footed and the feather'd game	C
Then this Apostle for a daintier dish	Z
With line or net shall plot the fate of fish	Z
In kitchen what the cookmaid calls a cot	F
In cellar with the butler brother sot	E
Here too he corks in brewhouse hops the beer	A2
Bright in the hall his parts at whist appear	A2
Dext'rous to pack yet at all cheats exclaiming	R
The priest has av'rice av'rice itch of gaming	R
And gaming fraud But fair he strikes the ball	B2
And at the plain of billiard pockets all	B2
At tables now But oh if gammon'd there	J
The startling echoes learn like him to swear	J
Tho' ne'er at authors in the study seen	T
At bowls sagacious master of the green	T
A connoisseur as cunning as a fox	L
To bet on racers or on battling cocks	L
To preach o'er beer in boroughs to procure	C2
Voters to make the 'squire's election sure	C2
For this where clowns stare gape and grin and baul	B2
Free to buffoon his function to 'em all	B2
When the clod justice some horse laugh wou'd raise	L
Foremost the dullest of dull jokes to praise	L
To say or unsay at his patron's nod	D2
To do the will of all save that of God	D2
	-
	-
His int'rest the most servile part he deems	L
Yet much he sways where much to serve he seems	L
He sways his patron rules the Lady most	E2
And as he rules the Lady rules the roast	E2
	-
	-
Old tradesmen must give way to new his aim	C
Extorted poundage once the steward's claim	C
Tenants are rais'd or as his pow'r increases	L
Unless they fine to him renew no leases	L
Thus tradesmen servants tenants none are free	I
Their loss and murmur are his gain and glee	I
	-
	-
Lux'ry he loves but like a priest of sense	L
Ev'n lux'ry loves not at his own expence	L
Tho' harlot passions wanton with his will	B2
Yet av'rice is his wedded passion still	B2
	-
	-
See him with napkin o'er his band tuck'd in	F2
While the rich grease hangs glist'ning on his chin	F2
Or as the dew from Aaron's beard declines	L
Ev'n to his garment hem soft trickling shines	L
He feeds and feeds swills soop and sucks up marrow	G2
Swills sucks and feeds till leach'rous as a sparrow	G2
Thy pleasure Onan now no more delights	L
The lone amusement of his chaster nights	L
He boasts let Ladies put him to the test	H2
Strong back broad shoulders and a well built chest	H2
With stiff'ning nerves now steals he sly away	I2
Alert warm chuckling ripe for am'rous play	I2
Ripe to caress the lass he once thought meet	J2
At church to chide when penanc'd in a sheet	J2
He pants the titillating joy to prove	K2
The fierce short sallies of luxurious love	L2
Not fair Cadiere and Confessor than they	I2
In straining transports more lascivious lay	I2
	-
	-
Conceives her womb while each so melts and thrills	L
He plies her now with love and now with pills	L
No more falls penance cloath'd in shame upon her	P
These kill her embryo and preserve her honour	P
	-
	-
Riches love pow'r his passions then we own	K
Can he court pow'r and pant not for renown	M2
Fool wise good wicked all desire a name	C
Than him young heroes burn not more for fame	C
While about ways of heav'n the schoolmen jar	P
The church re echoing to the wordy war	P
The ways of earth he on his horse astride	N2
Can with big words contest with blows decide	N2
He dares some carrier charg'd with cumb'rous load	O2
Disputes dismounts and boxes for the road	O2
Ye hooting boys Oh Well play'd parson cry	P
Oh Well play'd parson hooting vales reply	P
Winds waft it to Cathedral Domes around	P2
Cathedral Domes from inmost choirs resound	P2
	-
	-
The man has many meritorious ways	L
He'll smoak his pipe and London's prelate praise	L
His public pray'rs his oaths for George declare	P
Yet mental reservation may forswear	P
For safe with friends he now in loyal stealth	Q2
Hiccups and stagg'ring cries King Jemmy's health	Q2
God's word he preaches now and now profanes	L
Now swallows camels and at gnats now strains	L
He pities men who in unrighteous days	L
Read or what's worse write poetry and plays	L
He readeth not what any author saith	Q2
The more his merit in implicit faith	Q2
Those who a jot from mother church recede	R2
He damns like any Athanasian creed	R2
He rails at Hoadley so can zeal possess him	S2
He's orthodox as Gibson's self God bless him	S2
	-
	-
Satan whom yet for once he pays thanksgiving	R
Sweeps off th' incumbent now of fat goose living	R
He seeks his patron's Lady finds the fair	P
And for her int'rest first prefers his prayer	P
You pose me not said she tho' hard the task	T2
Tho' husbands seldom give what wives will ask	T2
My dearee does not yet to think incline	U2
How oft your nest you feather priest from mine	U2
This pin money tho' short has not betray'd	V2
Nor jewels pawn'd nor tradesmen's bills unpay'd	V2
Mine is the female fashionable skill	B2
To win my wants by cheating at quadrille	B2
You bid me with prim look the world delude	V2
Nor sins my priest demurer than his prude	V2
Least thinks my Lord you plant the secret horn	W2
That yours his hopeful heir so newly born	W2
'Tis mine to tease him first with jealous fears	L
And thunder all my virtue in his ears	L
My virtue rules unquestion'd Where's the cue	M
For that which governs him to govern you	M
I gave you pow'r the family complain	X2
I gave you love but all your love is gain	X2
My int'rest wealth for these alone you burn	Y2
With these you leave me	I