The 'monstre' Balloon Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AAAAAAAAAAB AAAAAAAAAA CDDDDDDDDD EEEEEEEEEEEE FFFFFFF EEEEEE GGGG HHHHHHHHHHH AHH EH GGGGGG GGGGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA

Oh the balloon the great balloonA
It left Vauxhall one Monday at noonA
And every one said we should hear of it soonA
With news from Aleppo or ScanderoonA
But very soon after folks changed their tuneA
'The netting had burst the silk the shalloonA
It had met with a trade wind a deuced monsoonA
It was blown out to sea it was blown to the moonA
They ought to have put off their journey till JuneA
Sure none but a donkey a goose or baboonA
Would go up in November in any balloon 'B
-
Then they talk'd about Green' Oh where's Mister GreenA
And where's Mister Hollond who hired the machineA
And where is Monk Mason the man that has beenA
Up so often before twelve times or thirteenA
And who writes such nice letters describing the sceneA
And where's the cold fowl and the ham and poteenA
The press'd beef with the fat cut off nothing but leanA
And the portable soup in the patent tureenA
Have they got to Grand Cairo or reach'd AberdeenA
Or Jerusalem Hamburgh or BallyporeenA
No they have not been seen Oh they haven't been seen '-
-
Stay here's Mister Gye Mr Frederick GyeC
'At Paris ' says he 'I've been up very highD
A couple of hundred of toises or nighD
A cockstride the Tuilleries' pantiles to spyD
With Dollond's best telescope stuck at my eyeD
And my umbrella under my arm like Paul PryD
But I could see nothing at all but the skyD
So I thought with myself 'twas of no use to tryD
Any longer and feeling remarkably dryD
From sitting all day stuck up there like a GuyD
I came down again and you see here am I '-
-
But here's Mr Hughes What says young Mr HughesE
'Why I'm sorry to say we've not got any newsE
Since the letter they threw down in one of their shoesE
Which gave the Mayor's nose such a deuce of a bruiseE
As he popp'd up his eye glass to look at their cruiseE
Over Dover and which the folks flock'd to peruseE
At Squier's bazaar the same evening in crewsE
Politicians newsmongers town council and bluesE
Turks heretics infidels jumpers and JewsE
Scorning Bachelor's papers and Warren's reviewsE
But the wind was then blowing towards HelvoetsluysE
And my father and I are in terrible stewsE
For so large a balloon is a sad thing to lose '-
-
Here's news come at last Here's news come at lastF
A vessel's come in which has sail'd very fastF
And a gentleman serving before the mastF
Mister Nokes has declared that 'the party has pastF
Safe across to the Hague where their grapnal they castF
As a fat burgomaster was staring aghastF
To see such a monster come borne on the blastF
And it caught in his waistband and there it stuck fast '-
-
Oh fie Mister Nokes for shame Mister NokesE
To be poking your fun at us plain dealing folksE
Sir this isn't a time to be cracking your jokesE
And such jesting your malice but scurvily cloaksE
Such a trumpery tale every one of us smokesE
And we know very well your whole story's a hoaxE
-
'Oh what shall we do Oh where will it endG
Can nobody go Can nobody sendG
To Calais or Bergen op zoom or OstendG
Can't you go there yourself Can't you write to a friendG
For news upon which we may safely depend '-
-
Huzzah huzzah one and eight pence to payH
For a letter from Hamborough just come to sayH
They descended at Weilburg about break of dayH
And they've lent them the palace there during their stayH
And the town is becoming uncommonly gayH
And they're feasting the party and soaking their clayH
With Johannisberg Rudesheim Moselle and TokayH
And the landgraves and margraves and counts beg and prayH
That they won't think as yet about going awayH
Notwithstanding they don't mean to make much delayH
But pack up the balloon in a waggon or drayH
And pop themselves into a German 'po shay '-
And get on to Paris by Lisle and TournayA
Where they boldly declare any wager they'll layH
If the gas people there do not ask them to payH
Such a sum as must force them at once to say 'Nay '-
They'll inflate the balloon in the Champs Elys esE
And be back again here the beginning of MayH
-
-
Dear me what a treat for a juvenile f teG
What thousands will flock their arrival to greetG
There'll be hardly a soul to be seen in the streetG
For at Vauxhall the whole population will meetG
And you'll scarcely get standing room much less a seatG
For this all preceding attraction must beatG
-
Since there they'll unfold what we want to be toldG
How they cough'd how they sneezed how they shiver'd with coldG
How they tippled the 'cordial ' as racy and oldG
As Hodges or Deady or Smith ever soldG
And how they all then felt remarkably boldG
How they thought the boil'd beef worth its own weight in goldG
And how Mister Green was beginning to scoldG
Because Mister Mason would try to lay holdG
Of the moon and had very near overboard roll'dG
-
And there they'll be seen they'll be all to be seenA
The great coats the coffee pot mugs and tureenA
With the tight rope and fire works and dancing betweenA
If the weather should only prove fair and sereneA
And there on a beautiful transparent screenA
In the middle you'll see a large picture of GreenA
Mr Hollond on one side who hired the machineA
Mr Mason on t'other describing the sceneA
And Fame on one leg in the air like a queenA
With three wreaths and a trumpet will over them leanA
While Envy in serpents and black bombazineA
Looks on from below with an air of chagrinA
-
Then they'll play up a tune in the Royal SaloonA
And the people will dance by the light of the moonA
And keep up the ball till the next day at noonA
And the peer and the peasant the lord and the loonA
The haughty grandee and the low picaroonA
The six foot life guardsman and little gossoonA
Will all join in three cheers for the 'monstre' balloonA

Richard Harris Barham



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