The Stethoscope Song - A Professional Ballad Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABAB CDCD BEBE FGHG IDID FJFJ KLKL MNMO OPNP QRQR STST UVUV WVWV QXQX XYFY ZZZZ A2XA2X XXXX ZB2ZB2 XZXZ ZC2ZC2 ZAZA B2XB2X D2XD2XThere was a young man in Boston town | A |
He bought him a stethoscope nice and new | B |
All mounted and finished and polished down | A |
With an ivory cap and a stopper too | B |
- | |
It happened a spider within did crawl | C |
And spun him a web of ample size | D |
Wherein there chanced one day to fall | C |
A couple of very imprudent flies | D |
- | |
The first was a bottle fly big and blue | B |
The second was smaller and thin and long | E |
So there was a concert between the two | B |
Like an octave flute and a tavern gong | E |
- | |
Now being from Paris but recently | F |
This fine young man would show his skill | G |
And so they gave him his hand to try | H |
A hospital patient extremely ill | G |
- | |
Some said that his liver was short of bile | I |
And some that his heart was over size | D |
While some kept arguing all the while | I |
He was crammed with tubercles up to his eyes | D |
- | |
This fine young man then up stepped he | F |
And all the doctors made a pause | J |
Said he The man must die you see | F |
By the fifty seventh of Louis's laws | J |
- | |
But since the case is a desperate one | K |
To explore his chest it may be well | L |
For if he should die and it were not done | K |
You know the autopsy would not tell | L |
- | |
Then out his stethoscope he took | M |
And on it placed his curious ear | N |
Mon Dieu said he with a knowing look | M |
Why here is a sound that 's mighty queer | O |
- | |
The bourdonnement is very clear | O |
Amphoric buzzing as I'm alive | P |
Five doctors took their turn to hear | N |
Amphoric buzzing said all the five | P |
- | |
There's empyema beyond a doubt | Q |
We'll plunge a trocar in his side | R |
The diagnosis was made out | Q |
They tapped the patient so he died | R |
- | |
Now such as hate new fashioned toys | S |
Began to look extremely glum | T |
They said that rattles were made for boys | S |
And vowed that his buzzing was all a hum | T |
- | |
There was an old lady had long been sick | U |
And what was the matter none did know | V |
Her pulse was slow though her tongue was quick | U |
To her this knowing youth must go | V |
- | |
So there the nice old lady sat | W |
With phials and boxes all in a row | V |
She asked the young doctor what he was at | W |
To thump her and tumble her ruffles so | V |
- | |
Now when the stethoscope came out | Q |
The flies began to buzz and whiz | X |
Oh ho the matter is clear no doubt | Q |
An aneurism there plainly is | X |
- | |
The bruit de rape and the bruit de scie | X |
And the bruit de diable are all combined | Y |
How happy Bouillaud would be | F |
If he a case like this could find | Y |
- | |
Now when the neighboring doctors found | Z |
A case so rare had been descried | Z |
They every day her ribs did pound | Z |
In squads of twenty so she died | Z |
- | |
Then six young damsels slight and frail | A2 |
Received this kind young doctor's cares | X |
They all were getting slim and pale | A2 |
And short of breath on mounting stairs | X |
- | |
They all made rhymes with sighs and skies | X |
And loathed their puddings and buttered rolls | X |
And dieted much to their friends' surprise | X |
On pickles and pencils and chalk and coals | X |
- | |
So fast their little hearts did bound | Z |
The frightened insects buzzed the more | B2 |
So over all their chests he found | Z |
The rale sifflant and the rale sonore | B2 |
- | |
He shook his head There's grave disease | X |
I greatly fear you all must die | Z |
A slight post mortem if you please | X |
Surviving friends would gratify | Z |
- | |
The six young damsels wept aloud | Z |
Which so prevailed on six young men | C2 |
That each his honest love avowed | Z |
Whereat they all got well again | C2 |
- | |
This poor young man was all aghast | Z |
The price of stethoscopes came down | A |
And so he was reduced at last | Z |
To practise in a country town | A |
- | |
The doctors being very sore | B2 |
A stethoscope they did devise | X |
That had a rammer to clear the bore | B2 |
With a knob at the end to kill the flies | X |
- | |
Now use your ears all you that can | D2 |
But don't forget to mind your eyes | X |
Or you may be cheated like this young man | D2 |
By a couple of silly abnormal flies | X |
Oliver Wendell Holmes
(1)
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