Phantasmagoria Canto Iii ( Scarmoges ) Poem Rhyme Scheme

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AND did you really walk said I	A
On such a wretched night	B
I always fancied Ghosts could fly	A
If not exactly in the sky	A
Yet at a fairish height	B
	-
It's very well said he for Kings	C
To soar above the earth	D
But Phantoms often find that wings	C
Like many other pleasant things	C
Cost more than they are worth	D
	-
Spectres of course are rich and so	E
Can buy them from the Elves	F
But WE prefer to keep below	E
They're stupid company you know	E
For any but themselves	F
	-
For though they claim to be exempt	G
From pride they treat a Phantom	H
As something quite beneath contempt	G
Just as no Turkey ever dreamt	I
Of noticing a Bantam	H
	-
They seem too proud said I to go	E
To houses such as mine	J
Pray how did they contrive to know	E
So quickly that 'the place was low '	-
And that I 'kept bad wine'	E
	-
Inspector Kobold came to you	K
The little Ghost began	E
Here I broke in Inspector who	K
Inspecting Ghosts is something new	K
Explain yourself my man	E
	-
His name is Kobold said my guest	L
One of the Spectre order	M
You'll very often see him dressed	L
In a yellow gown a crimson vest	L
And a night cap with a border	M
	-
He tried the Brocken business first	N
But caught a sort of chill	O
So came to England to be nursed	N
And here it took the form of THIRST	N
Which he complains of still	O
	-
Port wine he says when rich and sound	P
Warms his old bones like nectar	M
And as the inns where it is found	P
Are his especial hunting ground	P
We call him the INN SPECTRE	M
	-
I bore it bore it like a man	E
This agonizing witticism	H
And nothing could be sweeter than	E
My temper till the Ghost began	E
Some most provoking criticism	H
	-
Cooks need not be indulged in waste	Q
Yet still you'd better teach them	H
Dishes should have SOME SORT of taste	Q
Pray why are all the cruets placed	Q
Where nobody can reach them	H
	-
That man of yours will never earn	E
His living as a waiter	M
Is that queer THING supposed to burn	E
It's far too dismal a concern	E
To call a Moderator	M
	-
The duck was tender but the peas	R
Were very much too old	S
And just remember if you please	R
The NEXT time you have toasted cheese	R
Don't let them send it cold	S
	-
You'd find the bread improved I think	T
By getting better flour	M
And have you anything to drink	T
That looks a LITTLE less like ink	T
And isn't QUITE so sour	M
	-
Then peering round with curious eyes	U
He muttered Goodness gracious	V
And so went on to criticise	V
Your room's an inconvenient size	V
It's neither snug nor spacious	V
	-
That narrow window I expect	W
Serves but to let the dusk in	E
But please said I to recollect	W
'Twas fashioned by an architect	W
Who pinned his faith on Ruskin	E
	-
I don't care who he was Sir or	X
On whom he pinned his faith	Y
Constructed by whatever law	Z
So poor a job I never saw	Z
As I'm a living Wraith	Y
	-
What a re markable cigar	A2
How much are they a dozen	E
I growled No matter what they are	A2
You're getting as familiar	M
As if you were my cousin	E
	-
Now that's a thing I WILL NOT STAND	B2
And so I tell you flat	C2
Aha said he we're getting grand	B2
Taking a bottle in his hand	B2
I'll soon arrange for THAT	C2
	-
And here he took a careful aim	H
And gaily cried Here goes	V
I tried to dodge it as it came	H
But somehow caught it all the same	H
Exactly on my nose	V
	-
And I remember nothing more	X
That I can clearly fix	V
Till I was sitting on the floor	X
Repeating Two and five are four	X
But FIVE AND TWO are six	V
	-
What really passed I never learned	D2
Nor guessed I only know	E
That when at last my sense returned	D2
The lamp neglected dimly burned	D2
The fire was getting low	E
	-
Through driving mists I seemed to see	V
A Thing that smirked and smiled	E2
And found that he was giving me	V
A lesson in Biography	V
As if I were a child	E2

Lewis Carroll

Phantasmagoria Canto Iii ( Scarmoges ) Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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