The Reasons That Induced Dr S To Write A Poem Call'd The Lady's Dressing Room Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFFFGGFFGG HHGGIIEJIIIIKKLMEEMM IIKKNKMMJJOOFFPPKKFF QQIIIRRIIIIGGSSFFRRI FFITUVVWXYYYYGGZZ

The Doctor in a clean starch'd bandA
His Golden Snuff box in his handA
With care his Di'mond Ring displaysB
And Artfull shews its various RaysB
While Grave he stalks down StreetC
His dearest Betty to meetC
Long had he waited for this HourD
Nor gain'd Admittance to the BowerD
Had jok'd and punn'd and swore and writE
Try'd all his Galantry and WitE
Had told her oft what part he boreF
In Oxford's Schemes in days of yoreF
But Bawdy Politicks nor SatyrF
Could move this dull hard hearted CreatureF
Jenny her Maid could taste a RhymeG
And greiv'd to see him lose his TimeG
Had kindly whisper'd in his EarF
For twice two pound you enter hereF
My lady vows without that SummG
It is in vain you write or comeG
The Destin'd Offering now he broughtH
And in a paradise of thoughtH
With a low Bow approach'd the DameG
Who smileing heard him preach his FlameG
His Gold she takes such proofes as theseI
Convince most unbeleiving sheesI
And in her trunk rose up to lock itE
Too wise to trust it in her pocketJ
And then return'd with Blushing GraceI
Expects the Doctor's warm EmbraceI
But now this is the proper placeI
Where morals Stare me in the FaceI
And for the sake of fine ExpressionK
I'm forc'd to make a small digressionK
Alas for wretched HumankindL
With Learning Mad with wisdom blinkM
The Ox thinks he's for Saddle fitE
As long ago Freind Horace writE
And Men their Talents still mistakeingM
The stutterer fancys his is speakingM
With Admiration oft we seeI
Hard Features heighten'd by Toup eI
The Beau affects the PoliticianK
Wit is the citizen's AmbitionK
Poor Pope Philosophy displays onN
With so much Rhime and little reasonK
And th he argues ne'er so longM
That all is right his Head is wrongM
None strive to know their proper meritJ
But strain for Wisdom Beauty SpiritJ
And lose the Praise that is their dueO
While they've th'impossible in viewO
So have I seen the Injudicious HeirF
To add one Window the whole House impairF
Instinct the Hound does better teachP
Who never undertook to preachP
The frighted Hare from Dogs does runK
But not attempts to bear a GunK
Here many Noble thoughts occurF
But I prolixity abhorF
And will persue th'instructive TaleQ
To shew the Wise in some things failQ
The Reverend Lover with surprizeI
Peeps in her Bubbys and her EyesI
And kisses both and trys and trysI
The Evening in this Hellish PlayR
Beside his Guineas thrown awayR
Provok'd the Preist to that degreeI
he swore the Fault is not in meI
Your damn'd Close stool so near my NoseI
Your Dirty Smock and Stinking ToesI
Would make a Hercules as tameG
As any Beau that you can nameG
The nymph grown Furious roar'd by GodS
The blame lyes all in Sixty oddS
And scornfull pointing to the doorF
Cry'd Fumbler see my Face no moreF
With all my Heart I'll go awayR
But nothing done I'll nothing payR
Give back the Money How cry'd sheI
I lock'd it in the Trunk stands thereF
And break it open if you dareF
Would you palm such a cheat on meI
For poor pound to roar and bellowT
Why sure you want some new PrunellaU
What if your Verses have not soldV
Must therefore I return your GoldV
Perhaps your have no better Luck inW
The Knack of Rhyming than ofX
I won't give back one single CrownY
To wash your Band or turn your GownY
I'll be reveng'd you saucy QueanY
Replys the disapointed DeanY
I'll so describe your dressing roomG
The very Irish shall not comeG
She answer'd short I'm glad you'l writeZ
You'l furnish paper when I shiteZ

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu



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