Toland's Invitation To Dismal[1] To Dine With The Calves' Head Club Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AB CDEB FFGGHHIIJJBBHHBBKKHH LLHHBBBBHHMNHHOOPPBB BBHHII| Written A D Stella | A |
| Imitated from Horace Lib i Epist | B |
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| Toland the Deist distinguished himself as a party writer in behalf of the Whigs He wrote a pamphlet on the demolition of Dunkirk and another called The Art of Reasoning in which he directly charged Oxford with the purpose of bringing in the Pretender The Earl of Nottingham here as elsewhere called Dismal from his swarthy complexion was bred a rigid High Churchman and was only induced to support the Whigs in their resolutions against a peace by their consenting to the bill against occasional conformity He was so distinguished for regularity as to be termed by Rowe | C |
| The sober Earl of Nottingham | D |
| Of sober sire descended HOR Odes ii | E |
| From these points of his character we may estimate the severity of the following satire which represents this pillar of High Church principles as invited by the republican Toland to solemnize the th January by attending the Calves' Head Club Scott | B |
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| - | |
| If dearest Dismal you for once can dine | F |
| Upon a single dish and tavern wine | F |
| Toland to you this invitation sends | G |
| To eat the calfs head with your trusty friends | G |
| Suspend awhile your vain ambitious hopes | H |
| Leave hunting after bribes forget your tropes | H |
| To morrow we our mystic feast prepare | I |
| Where thou our latest proselyte shall share | I |
| When we by proper signs and symbols tell | J |
| How by brave hands the royal traitor fell | J |
| The meat shall represent the tyrant's head | B |
| The wine his blood our predecessors shed | B |
| Whilst an alluding hymn some artist sings | H |
| We toast Confusion to the race of kings | H |
| At monarchy we nobly show our spight | B |
| And talk what fools call treason all the night | B |
| Who by disgraces or ill fortune sunk | K |
| Feels not his soul enliven'd when he's drunk | K |
| Wine can clear up Godolphin's cloudy face | H |
| And fill Jack Smith with hopes to keep his place | H |
| By force of wine ev'n Scarborough is brave | L |
| Hal grows more pert and Somers not so grave | L |
| Wine can give Portland wit and Cleaveland sense | H |
| Montague learning Bolton eloquence | H |
| Cholmondeley when drunk can never lose his wand | B |
| And Lincoln then imagines he has land | B |
| My province is to see that all be right | B |
| Glasses and linen clean and pewter bright | B |
| From our mysterious club to keep out spies | H |
| And Tories dress'd like waiters in disguise | H |
| You shall be coupled as you best approve | M |
| Seated at table next the man you love | N |
| Sunderland Orford Boyle and Richmond's grace | H |
| Will come and Hampden shall have Walpole's place | H |
| Wharton unless prevented by a whore | O |
| Will hardly fail and there is room for more | O |
| But I love elbow room whene'er I drink | P |
| And honest Harry is too apt to stink | P |
| Let no pretence of bus'ness make you stay | B |
| Yet take one word of counsel by the way | B |
| If Guernsey calls send word you're gone abroad | B |
| He'll teaze you with King Charles and Bishop Laud | B |
| Or make you fast and carry you to prayers | H |
| But if he will break in and walk up stairs | H |
| Steal by the back door out and leave him there | I |
| Then order Squash to call a hackney chair | I |
Jonathan Swift
(1)
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