An Epistle To Mr. Gay[1] Poem Rhyme Scheme

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How could you Gay disgrace the Muse's train	A
To serve a tasteless court twelve years in vain	A
Fain would I think our female friend sincere	B
Till Bob the poet's foe possess'd her ear	C
Did female virtue e'er so high ascend	D
To lose an inch of favour for a friend	D
Say had the court no better place to choose	E
For triee than make a dry nurse of thy Muse	E
How cheaply had thy liberty been sold	F
To squire a royal girl of two years old	F
In leading strings her infant steps to guide	G
Or with her go cart amble side by side	G
But princely Douglas and his glorious dame	H
Advanced thy fortune and preserved thy fame	H
Nor will your nobler gifts be misapplied	G
When o'er your patron's treasure you preside	G
The world shall own his choice was wise and just	I
For sons of Phoebus never break their trust	I
Not love of beauty less the heart inflames	J
Of guardian eunuchs to the sultan's dames	J
Their passions not more impotent and cold	F
Than those of poets to the lust of gold	F
With P an's purest fire his favourites glow	K
The dregs will serve to ripen ore below	K
His meanest work for had he thought it fit	L
That wealth should be the appanage of wit	L
The god of light could ne'er have been so blind	M
To deal it to the worst of human kind	M
But let me now for I can do it well	N
Your conduct in this new employ foretell	N
And first to make my observation right	O
I place a statesman full before my sight	O
A bloated minister in all his gear	B
With shameless visage and perfidious leer	B
Two rows of teeth arm each devouring jaw	P
And ostrich like his all digesting maw	P
My fancy drags this monster to my view	Q
To shew the world his chief reverse in you	Q
Of loud unmeaning sounds a rapid flood	R
Rolls from his mouth in plenteous streams of mud	R
With these the court and senate house he plies	S
Made up of noise and impudence and lies	S
Now let me show how Bob and you agree	B
You serve a potent prince as well as he	B
The ducal coffers trusted to your charge	T
Your honest care may fill perhaps enlarge	T
His vassals easy and the owner blest	U
They pay a trifle and enjoy the rest	U
Not so a nation's revenues are paid	V
The servant's faults are on the master laid	V
The people with a sigh their taxes bring	W
And cursing Bob forget to bless the king	W
Next hearken Gay to what thy charge requires	X
With servants tenants and the neighbouring squires	X
Let all domestics feel your gentle sway	Y
Nor bribe insult nor flatter nor betray	Y
Let due reward to merit be allow'd	Z
Nor with your kindred half the palace crowd	Z
Nor think yourself secure in doing wrong	A2
By telling noses with a party strong	A2
Be rich but of your wealth make no parade	V
At least before your master's debts are paid	V
Nor in a palace built with charge immense	B2
Presume to treat him at his own expense	B2
Each farmer in the neighbourhood can count	C2
To what your lawful perquisites amount	C2
The tenants poor the hardness of the times	D2
Are ill excuses for a servant's crimes	D2
With interest and a premium paid beside	G
The master's pressing wants must be supplied	G
With hasty zeal behold the steward come	E2
By his own credit to advance the sum	E2
Who while th'unrighteous Mammon is his friend	D
May well conclude his power will never end	D
A faithful treasurer what could he do more	B
He lends my lord what was my lord's before	B
The law so strictly guards the monarch's health	F2
That no physician dares prescribe by stealth	F2
The council sit approve the doctor's skill	G2
And give advice before he gives the pill	G2
But the state empiric acts a safer part	H2
And while he poisons wins the royal heart	H2
But how can I describe the ravenous breed	I2
Then let me now by negatives proceed	I2
Suppose your lord a trusty servant send	D
On weighty business to some neighbouring friend	D
Presume not Gay unless you serve a drone	J2
To countermand his orders by your own	J2
Should some imperious neighbour sink the boats	K2
And drain the fish ponds while your master dotes	K2
Shall he upon the ducal rights intrench	L2
Because he bribed you with a brace of tench	L2
Nor from your lord his bad condition hide	G
To feed his luxury or soothe his pride	G
Nor at an under rate his timber sell	N
And with an oath assure him all is well	N
Or swear it rotten and with humble airs	K2
Request it of him to complete your stairs	K2
Nor when a mortgage lies on half his lands	K2
Come with a purse of guineas in your hands	K2
Have Peter Waters always in your mind	M
That rogue of genuine ministerial kind	M
Can half the peerage by his arts bewitch	L2
Starve twenty lords to make one scoundrel rich	L2
And when he gravely has undone a score	B
Is humbly pray'd to ruin twenty more	B
A dext'rous steward when his tricks are found	M2
Hush money sends to all the neighbours round	M2
His master unsuspicious of his pranks	K2
Pays all the cost and gives the villain thanks	K2
And should a friend attempt to set him right	O
His lordship would impute it all to spite	O
Would love his favourite better than before	B
And trust his honesty just so much more	B
Thus families like realms with equal fate	N2
Are sunk by premier ministers of state	N2
Some when an heir succeeds go bodily on	O2
And as they robb'd the father rob the son	P2
A knave who deep embroils his lord's affairs	K2
Will soon grow necessary to his heirs	K2
His policy consists in setting traps	K2
In finding ways and means and stopping gaps	K2
He knows a thousand tricks whene'er he please	K2
Though not to cure yet palliate each disease	K2
In either case an equal chance is run	P2
For keep or turn him out my lord's undone	P2
You want a hand to clear a filthy sink	Q2
No cleanly workman can endure the stink	Q2
A strong dilemma in a desperate case	K2
To act with infamy or quit the place	K2
A bungler thus who scarce the nail can hit	L
With driving wrong will make the panel split	L
Nor dares an abler workman undertake	R2
To drive a second lest the whole should break	R2
In every court the parallel will hold	F
And kings like private folks are bought and sold	F
The ruling rogue who dreads to be cashler'd	F
Contrives as he is hated to be fear'd	F
Confounds accounts perplexes all affairs	K2
For vengeance more embroils than skill repairs	K2
So robbers and their ends are just the same	H
To 'scape inquiries leave the house in flame	H
I knew a brazen minister of state	F
Who bore for twice ten years the public hate	F
In every mouth the question most in vogue	S2
Was when will they turn out this odious rogue	S2
A juncture happen'd in his highest pride	F
While he went robbing on his master died	F
We thought there now remain'd no room to doubt	F
The work is done the minister must out	F
The court invited more than one or two	Q
Will you Sir Spencer or will you or you	Q
But not a soul his office durst accept	F
The subtle knave had all the plunder swept	F
And such was then the temper of the times	K2
He owed his preservation to his crimes	K2
The candidates observed his dirty paws	K2
Nor found it difficult to guess the cause	K2
But when they smelt such foul corruptions round him	T2
Away they fled and left him as they found him	T2
Thus when a greedy sloven once has thrown	J2
His snot into the mess 'tis all his own	J2

Jonathan Swift

An Epistle To Mr. Gay[1] Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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