I would like today again as in the past
to get down to dad's feet
while the FM'radio loud sound
himself would woke the dead
as you share stories from your far past
dust and breath
while father's fully worked hands
quietly carving a biltong

but heaven's tiki box's
line is dead
Dad with your wooden coat
under the lilac tree
on your bench
Dad, I miss your Gray-blue eyes
your soft heart
but the memory clings to my heart

your sins thrown to vanity
served your liquor bottled-jail
all i can say is ... i miss you

I wish you were there
in times that my heart weeps
I drive past and look for you
but that porch is empty
I see you everywhere
in every rustle
I remember your tooth marks
in the butter
and your black sweet coffee
eclairs and suckers

your feet were made of clay
there was silver in your dark crown
but there were rays of sun in your heart
because you made me believe I'm strong
you made me believe I'm a fairy princess
you wiped my tears
you made me believe I'm worthy
you made me believe i was loved

everyday I want to say, Paps:
thank you for all that dad gave
even though life was sometimes too much for dad
thank you for teaching me so much from Dad
because even in all of Dad's mistakes
father's tears were sometimes too much
I miss you, my Dad
I would like to say: I love you
I release you, be your very best self!