- 1. How Rumplestilz Held Out In Vain For A Bonus
In Germany there lived an earl
Who had a charming niece:
And never gave the timid girl
A single moment's peace!
...
- 2. The Hospitable Caledonian And The Thankless Viper
A Caledonian piper
Who was walking on the wold
Nearly stepped upon a viper
Rendered torpid by the cold;
...
- 3. How Little Red Riding Hood Came To Be Eaten
Most worthy of praise
Were the virtuous ways
Of Little Red Riding Hood's Ma,
And no one was ever
...
- 4. How Jack Made The Giants Uncommonly Sore
Of all the ill-fated
Boys ever created
Young Jack was the wretchedest lad:
An emphatic, erratic,
...
- 5. The Impecunious Cricket And The Frugal Ant
There was an ant, a spinster ant,
Whose virtues were so many
That she became intolerant
Of those who hadn't any:
...
- 6. How The Babes In The Wood Showed They Couldn't Be Beaten
A man of kind and noble mind
Was H. Gustavus Hyde.
'Twould be amiss to add to this
At present, for he died,
...
- 7. The Precipitate Cock And The Unappreciated Pearl
A rooster once pursued a worm
That lingered not to brave him,
To see his wretched victim squirm
A pleasant thrill it gave him;
...
- 8. The Domineering Eagle And The Inventive Bratling
O'er a small suburban borough
Once an eagle used to fly,
Making observations thorough
From his station in the sky,
...