Guy Wetmore Carryl Never Poems
- 1. How Little Red Riding Hood Came To Be Eaten
Most worthy of praise
Were the virtuous ways
Of Little Red Riding Hood's Ma,
And no one was ever
... - 2. How Jack Made The Giants Uncommonly Sore
Of all the ill-fated
Boys ever created
Young Jack was the wretchedest lad:
An emphatic, erratic,
... - 3. How A Princess Was Wooed From Habitual Sadness
In days of old the King of Saxe
Had singular opinions,
For with a weighty battle-axe
He brutalized his minions,
... - 4. How A Girl Was Too Reckless Of Grammar By Far
Matilda Maud Mackenzie frankly hadn't any chin,
Her hands were rough, her feet she turned invariably in;
Her general form was German,
By which I mean that you
... - 5. How The Babes In The Wood Showed They Couldn't Be Beaten
A man of kind and noble mind
Was H. Gustavus Hyde.
'Twould be amiss to add to this
At present, for he died,
... - 6. The Precipitate Cock And The Unappreciated Pearl
A rooster once pursued a worm
That lingered not to brave him,
To see his wretched victim squirm
A pleasant thrill it gave him;
... - 7. How Beauty Contrived To Get Square With The Beast
Miss Guinevere Platt
Was so beautiful that
She couldn't remember the day
When one of her swains
... - 8. How A Fisherman Corked Up His Foe In A Jar
A fisherman lived on the shore,
(It's a habit that fishers affect,)
And his life was a hideous bore:
He had nothing to do but collect
... - 9. The Vainglorious Oak And The Modest Bulrush
A bulrush stood on a river's rim,
And an oak that grew near by
Looked down with cold hauteur on him,
And addressed him this way: "Hi!"
...
