Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Quote by George Burns
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George Burns quote
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George Burns Quotes
Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
I remember watching the Grammys and looking at the performances and crying to my mom, saying how much I wanted to be there.
Unwearied ceaseless effort is the price that must be paid for turning faith into a rich infallible experience.
The first holy truth in God 101 is that men and women of true faith have always had to accept the mystery of God's identity and love and ways. I hate that, but it's the truth.
Cunning is the art of concealing our own defects, and discovering other people's weaknesses.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
Speaking of Twitter, I don't even know if I composed a blog entry in 2009, as I was too busy parceling my every thought into cute 140-character sound bites. I used to only worry about being pithy for a living now some of my best lines are wasted on a free app!
Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion.
Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.
Grub first, then ethics.
My experience has been that work is almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.