The Hypochondriacal Pluto. A Romance Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Friedrich Schiller

The Hypochondriacal Pluto. A Romance Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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The Hypochondriacal Pluto A Romance Book I	A
	-
The sullen mayor who reigns in hell	B
By mortals Pluto hight	C
Who thrashes all his subjects well	B
Both morn and eve as stories tell	B
And rules the realms of night	C
All pleasure lost in cursing once	D
All joy in flogging for the nonce	E
	-
The sedentary life he led	F
Upon his brazen chair	G
Made his hindquarters very red	F
While pricks as from a nettle bed	F
He felt both here and there	G
A burning sun too chanced to shine	H
And boiled down all his blood to brine	H
	-
'Tis true he drank full many a draught	I
Of Phlegethon's black flood	J
By cupping leeches doctor's craft	I
And venesection fore and aft	I
They took from him much blood	J
Full many a clyster was applied	K
And purging too was also tried	K
	-
His doctor versed in sciences	L
With wig beneath his hat	M
Argued and showed with wondrous ease	N
From Celsus and Hippocrates	O
When he in judgment sat	M
Right worshipful the mayor of hell	B
The liver's wrong I see full well	B
	-
He's but a booby Pluto said	F
With all his trash and pills	P
A man like me pray where's his head	F
A young man yet his wits have fled	F
While youth my veins yet fills	P
Unless electuaries he'll bring	Q
Full in his face my club I'll fling	Q
	-
Or right or wrong 'twas a hard case	R
To weather such a trial	S
Poor men who lose a king's good grace	R
He's straight saluted in the face	R
By every splint and phial	S
He very wisely made no fuss	T
This hint he learnt of Cerberus	T
	-
Go fetch the barber of the skies	T
Apollo to me soon	U
An airy courier straightway flies	T
Upon his beast and onward hies	T
And skims past poles and moon	U
As he went off the clock struck four	V
At five his charger reached the door	V
	-
Just then Apollo happened Heigh ho	W
A sonnet to have made	X
Oh dear me no upon Miss Io	W
Such is the tale I heard from Clio	W
The midwife to have played	X
The boy as if stamped out of wax	T
Might Zeus as father fairly tax	T
	-
He read the letter half asleep	Y
Then started in dismay	Z
The road is long and hell is deep	Y
Your rocks I know are rough and steep	Y
Yet like a king he'll pay	Z
He dons his cap of mist and furs	T
Then through the air the charger spurs	T
	-
With locks all frizzled a la mode	A2
And ruffles smooth and nice	T
In gala dress that brightly glowed	A2
A gift Aurora had bestowed	A2
With watch chains of high price	T
With toes turned out and chapeau bas	T
He stood before hell's mighty czar	B2
	-
	-
	-
The Hypochondriacal Pluto A Romance Book II	W
	-
The grumbler in his usual tone	C2
Received him with a curse	T
To Pomerania straight begone	C2
Ugh how he smells of eau de Cologne	C2
Why brimstone isn't worse	T
He'd best be off to heaven again	C2
Or he'll infect hell's wide domain	C2
	-
The god of pills in sore surprise	T
A spring then backwards took	D2
Is this his highness' usual guise	T
'Tis in the brain I see that lies	T
The mischief what a look	D2
See how his eyes in frenzy roll	S
The case is bad upon my soul	S
	-
A journey to Elysium	E2
The infectus would dissolve	F2
Making the saps less tough become	E2
As through the Capitolium	E2
And stomach they revolve	F2
Provisionally be it so	T
Let's start then but incognito	T
	-
Ay worthy sir no doubt well meant	G2
If in these regions hazy	T
As with you folk so charged with scent	G2
You dapper ones who heaven frequent	H2
'Twere proper to be lazy	T
If hell a master needed not	I2
Why then I'd follow on the spot	I2
	-
Ha if the cat once turned her back	J2
Pray where would be the mice	T
They'd sally forth from every crack	J2
My very mufti would attack	J2
Spoil all things in a trice	T
Oddsbodikins 'tis pretty cool	S
I'll let him see I'm no such fool	S
	-
A pleasant uproar happened erst	I2
When they assailed my tower	K2
No fault of mine 'twas at the worst	I2
That from their desks and chains to burst	I2
Philosophers had power	K2
What has there e'er escaped a poet	I2
Help heaven what misery to know it	I2
	-
When days are long folks talk more stuff	L2
Upon your seats no doubt	I2
With all your cards and music rough	L2
And scribblings too 'tis hard enough	L2
The moments to eke out	I2
Idleness like a flea will gnaw	C2
On velvet cushions as on straw	C2
	-
My brother no attempt omits	T
To drive away ennui	T
His lightning round about him flits	T
The target with his storms he hits	T
Those howls prove that to me	T
Till Rhea's trembling shoulders ache	M2
And force me e'en for hell to quake	M2
	-
Were I grandfather Coelus though	T
You wouldn't soon escape	N2
Into my belly straight you'd go	T
And in your swaddling clothes cry 'oh '	-
And through five windows gape	N2
First o'er my stream you'd have to come	E2
And then perhaps to Elysium	E2
	-
Your steed you mounted I dare say	T
In hopes to catch a goose	T
If it is worth the trouble pray	T
Tell what you've heard from me to day	T
At shaving time to Zeus	T
Just leave him then to swallow it	I2
I don't care what he thinks a bit	I2
	-
You'd better now go homeward straight	I2
Your servant there's the door	V
For all your pains one moment wait	I2
I'll give you liberal is the rate	I2
A piece of ruby ore	V
In heaven such things are rareties	T
We use them for base purposes	T
	-
	-
	-
The Hypochondriacal Pluto A Romance Book III	W
	-
The god at once then said farewell	S
At small politeness striving	Q
When sudden through the crowds of hell	S
A flying courier rushed pell mell	S
From Tellus' bounds arriving	Q
Monarch a doctor follows me	T
Behold this wondrous prodigy	T
	-
Place for the doctor each one said	I2
He comes with spurs and whip	O2
To every one he nods his head	I2
As if he had been born and bred	I2
In Tartarus the rip	O2
As jaunty fearless full of nous	T
As Britons in the Lower House	T
	-
Good morrow worthy sirs Ahem	T
I'm glad to see that here	P2
Where all they of Prometheus' stem	T
Must come whene'er the Fates condemn	T
One meets with such good cheer	Q2
Why for Elysium care a rush	R2
I'd rather see hell's fountains gush	R2
	-
Stop stop his impudence I vow	S2
Its due reward shall meet	I2
By Charles's wain I swear it now	S2
He must no questions I'll allow	S2
Prescribe me a receipt	I2
All hell is mine I'm Pluto hight	I2
Make haste to bring your wares to light	I2
	-
The doctor with a knowing look	D2
The swarthy king surveyed	I2
He neither felt his pulse nor took	D2
The usual steps see Galen's book	D2
No difference 'twould have made	I2
As piercing as electric fire	K2
He eyed him to his heart's desire	K2
	-
Monarch I'll tell thee in a trice	T
The thing that's needed here	P2
Though desperate may seem the advice	T
The case itself is very nice	T
And children dragons fear	Q2
Devil must devil eat no more	V
Either a wife or hellebore	V
	-
Whether she scold or sportive play	T
'Tween these no medium's known	C2
She'll drive the incubus away	T
That has assailed thee many a day	T
Upon thine iron throne	C2
She'll make the nimble spirits fleet	I2
Up towards the head down towards the feet	I2
	-
Long may the doctor honored be	T
Who let this saying fall	S
He ought to have his effigy	T
By Phidias sculptured so that he	T
May be discerned by all	S
A monument forever thriving	Q
Boerhaave Hippocrates surviving	Q