A's Aristides, or Gladstone the Good;
B is Lord B., whom I'd crush if I could.
C are Conservatives, full of mad pranks;
D are the Dunces who fill up their ranks.
E stands for Ewelme, of some notoriety;
F for the Fuss made in Oxford society.
G stands for Gladstone, a hewer of wood;
H is my Hatchet of merciless mood.
I is the Irish Church which I cut down:
J are the Jobs which I kill with a frown,
K are the Knocks which I give and I take:
L are the Liberals whom I forsake.
M are the Ministry whom I revile;
N are the Noodles my speeches beguile.
O is the Office I mean to refuse:
P is the Premier - I long for his shoes.
Q are the Qualms of my conscience refined;
R is the Rhetoric nothing can bind,
S is Herr Schliemann who loves much to walk about
T ancient Troy, which I love much to talk about.
U is the Union of Church and State;
V are my former Views, now out of date.
W is William, the People's 'True Bill,'
X is the Exit from power of that 'Will.'
Y is Young England, who soon will unite
Z in fresh Zeal for the 'People's Delight.'

(1879)