A Poor Joke Poem Rhyme Scheme

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NO you can t count me in boys I m off it	A
I m jack of them practical jokes	B
They give neither pleasure nor profit	C
And the fellers that plays them are mokes	B
I ve got sense though I once was a duffer	D
And I fooled up my share I allow	E
But since conscience has made me to suffer	D
She s pegging away at me now	E
	-
You notice I ve aged rather early	F
And the wrinkles are deep on my face	G
That s sorrer I m sixty nine barely	F
Jes camp and I ll tell you my case	G
It was here on The Springs we had hit it	A
And we working the lead on this spot	H
And we were to my shame I admit it	A
A rather unprincipled lot	H
	-
We were drunk all the day on the Sundays	I
No wickeder habit exists	J
And our exercise mostly on Mondays	K
Was feats of endurance with fists	J
See the wash wasn t what we d call wealthy	F
Ten pennyweight stuff thereabout	H
And we took matters easy and healthy	F
Now we d rush for the same I ve no doubt	H
	-
Well one morning from over the border	D
Two Mongols moved inter the camp	L
Which we voted a thing out of order	D
The climate for Chows was too damp	L
But it happened a couple of troopers	M
Arrived on The Springs that same week	N
So the Chinks in their opium stupors	M
Didn t wander down inter the creek	N
	-
Or get drowned in the dam at The Crescent	H
As we reckoned might happen somehow	E
But they settled down easy and pleasant	H
And there wasn t the smell of a row	O
Howsomever we weren t long twigging	N
The Chows were an ignerent pair	P
And knew nothin at all about digging	N
And that was our chance to get square	P
	-
It was cording to Bastow s directions	M
Though I volunteered for the game	Q
To ensnare their Mongolian affections	M
And lay them right on to a claim	Q
Round the bend where we d bottomed a duffer	D
Myself and Pat Foley right there	P
Where the sinking is deep and is tougher	D
Than the hobs of Gehenna I swear	P
	-
That shaft was a regular clinker	P
Which it riles me to think of to day	H
Quite a fortnight it took us to sink her	P
And then we came through on the clay	H
Not the ghost of a handful of gravel	R
Well we dropped it without any fuss	M
On the hill pegged the best we could snavel	R
And the devil could prospect for us	M
	-
But the Pagans were not a bit wiser	P
And I counted it pretty fair game	Q
To appear as their friend and adviser	P
And induce them to take up that claim	Q
By a cracking the lay and position	S
So s to get them to sink on the clay	R
Till they struck a hot shop in Perdition	S
Or tapped water in Europe some day	R
	-
But the heathens were mighty suspicious	M
Wouldn t have it I cared for their sakes	M
Here I state that all Chinkies are vicious	M
And I hate them like fever and snakes	M
Then I tried a new system of dealing	N
And offered advice at a fee	F
And they caught on like winking Fine feeling	N
Is wasted on any Chinee	S
	-
So they pegged out our cast off the duffer	P
Their rights they had made out exact	H
And Ah Kit who was boss wouldn t suffer	P
Any little neglect of the Act	H
And I put in their pegs to a fraction	S
As grave as a brick on a hob	T
Rigged up things to their full satisfaction	S
And charged them five quid for the job	T
	-
Well the heathens soon set their picks going	N
And they seemed rather fond of the graft	H
Though the boys had had trouble in stowing	N
A heap of dead things in the shaft	H
And we chuckled and thought we had got em	U
I knew I could tickle the pair	P
To keep sinking on inter the bottom	V
For gravel that never was there	P
	-
Next night a most harrowing rumour	P
Went round and the camp was half daft	H
It was said that a nugget a boomer	P
Had been found by the Chows in our shaft	H
Point of fact that the Pagans had struck it	H
Had knocked down a sample of wash	W
That looked good for a pound to the bucket	H
And our joke had gone hopelessly squash	W
	-
It was c rect boys by all that is holy	F
We d struck a false bottom no doubt	H
And the fortune of self and of Foley	F
Was scooped by Ah Kit and Ah Gout	H
We resolved that these Chinese were sapping	N
The wealth of the land and agreed	H
On a project for catching them napping	N
When the troopers rode on to the lead	H
	-
Yes we scrambled for claims all around em	U
And we made the foam fly for a week	N
But the Chows had the gilt edge Confound em	U
They d lobbed right on top of the streak	N
No your joke boys I reckon is risky	F
And somewhat ridic lus I think	N
But I m with you for friendship and whisky	F
If one of you orders the drink	N

Edward George Dyson

A Poor Joke Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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