A Poor Joke Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCBDEDE FGFGAHAH IJKJFHFH DLDLMNMN HEHONPNP MQMQDPDP PHPHRMRM PQPQSRSR MMMMNFNS PHPHSTST NHNHUPVP PHPHHWHW FHFHNHNH UNUNFNFN

NO you can t count me in boys I m off itA
I m jack of them practical jokesB
They give neither pleasure nor profitC
And the fellers that plays them are mokesB
I ve got sense though I once was a dufferD
And I fooled up my share I allowE
But since conscience has made me to sufferD
She s pegging away at me nowE
-
You notice I ve aged rather earlyF
And the wrinkles are deep on my faceG
That s sorrer I m sixty nine barelyF
Jes camp and I ll tell you my caseG
It was here on The Springs we had hit itA
And we working the lead on this spotH
And we were to my shame I admit itA
A rather unprincipled lotH
-
We were drunk all the day on the SundaysI
No wickeder habit existsJ
And our exercise mostly on MondaysK
Was feats of endurance with fistsJ
See the wash wasn t what we d call wealthyF
Ten pennyweight stuff thereaboutH
And we took matters easy and healthyF
Now we d rush for the same I ve no doubtH
-
Well one morning from over the borderD
Two Mongols moved inter the campL
Which we voted a thing out of orderD
The climate for Chows was too dampL
But it happened a couple of troopersM
Arrived on The Springs that same weekN
So the Chinks in their opium stuporsM
Didn t wander down inter the creekN
-
Or get drowned in the dam at The CrescentH
As we reckoned might happen somehowE
But they settled down easy and pleasantH
And there wasn t the smell of a rowO
Howsomever we weren t long twiggingN
The Chows were an ignerent pairP
And knew nothin at all about diggingN
And that was our chance to get squareP
-
It was cording to Bastow s directionsM
Though I volunteered for the gameQ
To ensnare their Mongolian affectionsM
And lay them right on to a claimQ
Round the bend where we d bottomed a dufferD
Myself and Pat Foley right thereP
Where the sinking is deep and is tougherD
Than the hobs of Gehenna I swearP
-
That shaft was a regular clinkerP
Which it riles me to think of to dayH
Quite a fortnight it took us to sink herP
And then we came through on the clayH
Not the ghost of a handful of gravelR
Well we dropped it without any fussM
On the hill pegged the best we could snavelR
And the devil could prospect for usM
-
But the Pagans were not a bit wiserP
And I counted it pretty fair gameQ
To appear as their friend and adviserP
And induce them to take up that claimQ
By a cracking the lay and positionS
So s to get them to sink on the clayR
Till they struck a hot shop in PerditionS
Or tapped water in Europe some dayR
-
But the heathens were mighty suspiciousM
Wouldn t have it I cared for their sakesM
Here I state that all Chinkies are viciousM
And I hate them like fever and snakesM
Then I tried a new system of dealingN
And offered advice at a feeF
And they caught on like winking Fine feelingN
Is wasted on any ChineeS
-
So they pegged out our cast off the dufferP
Their rights they had made out exactH
And Ah Kit who was boss wouldn t sufferP
Any little neglect of the ActH
And I put in their pegs to a fractionS
As grave as a brick on a hobT
Rigged up things to their full satisfactionS
And charged them five quid for the jobT
-
Well the heathens soon set their picks goingN
And they seemed rather fond of the graftH
Though the boys had had trouble in stowingN
A heap of dead things in the shaftH
And we chuckled and thought we had got emU
I knew I could tickle the pairP
To keep sinking on inter the bottomV
For gravel that never was thereP
-
Next night a most harrowing rumourP
Went round and the camp was half daftH
It was said that a nugget a boomerP
Had been found by the Chows in our shaftH
Point of fact that the Pagans had struck itH
Had knocked down a sample of washW
That looked good for a pound to the bucketH
And our joke had gone hopelessly squashW
-
It was c rect boys by all that is holyF
We d struck a false bottom no doubtH
And the fortune of self and of FoleyF
Was scooped by Ah Kit and Ah GoutH
We resolved that these Chinese were sappingN
The wealth of the land and agreedH
On a project for catching them nappingN
When the troopers rode on to the leadH
-
Yes we scrambled for claims all around emU
And we made the foam fly for a weekN
But the Chows had the gilt edge Confound emU
They d lobbed right on top of the streakN
No your joke boys I reckon is riskyF
And somewhat ridic lus I thinkN
But I m with you for friendship and whiskyF
If one of you orders the drinkN

Edward George Dyson



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