Heard of Contradictin' Joe?
Most contrary man I know.
Always sayin', 'That's not so.'

Nothing's ever said, but he
Steps right up to disagree-
Quarrelsome as he can be.

If you start in to recite
All the details of a fight,
He'll butt in to set you right.

Start a story that is true,
He'll begin correctin' you-
Make you out a liar, too!

Mention time o' year or day,
Makes no difference what you say,
Nothing happened just that way.

Bet you, when his soul takes flight,
An' the angels talk at night,
He'll butt in to set 'em right.

There where none should have complaints
He will be with 'no's' and 'ain'ts'
Contradictin' all the saints.