The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
Quote by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry Quotes
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
The secret to understanding me is, I'm not trying to be anybody other than who I actually am. People want candid, refreshing leadership. And I've always tried to go with solutions. You know, I've always tried to say, here's how we get our economy growing, here's why we get our debt under control. That's what Mitt Romney is offering.
They're right to think that about me, because I'm the person most likely to sleep with my female fans, I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that.
Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself.
I have the best husband in the world. He's very involved.
Neutrality is a negative word. It does not express what America ought to feel. We are not trying to keep out of trouble we are trying to preserve the foundations on which peace may be rebuilt.
People should be free, people should be unencumbered by regulation as much as possible, that big government always goes corrupt and the truth shall always set you free.
Health care reform, the marquee legislative accomplishment of the Obama administration's first term, was passed before we entered the world of divided government.
My dad would give me $10, which is a lot of money when you're 9, to sing at church, on tables at restaurants, at family functions, just about anywhere.
Well, real estate is always good, as far as I'm concerned.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.