I sit here alone again and wonder if the person I see in the mirror is only a reflection of the person I once was .
I think back and wonder what I did that was so wrong that it would create so much pain and sorrow in my life that now I'm thinking IS IT BECAUSE ?
Is it because I did things in my life as a child to an adult that created my own world of self pity and sorrow,maybe it was my fault I was abandoned, maybe it was just meant to be.
I'm loyal and honest and I wear my heart on my sleeve, I've always tried to be the person I could, but somehow being like this I've always ended up hurt by the ones I love the most .
But you know what maybe it's just me ,so now I sit here alone, confused , hurt, scared, and wondering what's next ,the next traumatic pain I have to endure.
I've always tried to love myself ,the good things ,my flaws and imperfection and my insecurities, but now I can't find anything that I can love about me .
I'm a failure to so many and in so many ways ,I despise me for letting me become this me, my life is like living on eggshells, I tread so carefully not to break any and I try to please people so much to the point I embarrass myself and look pathetic ,all because I'm scared of abandonment, to be honest I'm weak and frightened like a small child and I hate myself and what I've become , this is not ME !
(OR IS IT ?)