I'm Tired

I'M TIRED

My life, a big mess,
I want to give up,
But I still want to fight,
It's difficult, it's painful, I'm scared, I'm lost,
What if I fail?
What can I do?

I wasn't made for this,
I'm tired of being isolated,
I'm tired of being sad,
I'm so tired!
My confidence has faded,
I don't know myself anymore,
This is not how I use to be,
This is not me.

They tell me "let it go"
You have potential, activate it, work on it, follow your dreams,
But I'm tired,
I'm tired of getting my hopes up,
I'm tired of being dismayed,
Don't ask for reasons,
I just quit trying and expecting.

I'm tired of reminiscing,
Reminiscing how I use to be happy,
I'm tired of the accusations,
Accusations I put on myself every day,
I'm tired of pretending,
When all I want to do is cry,
I'm tired of crying,
I'm tired of feeling worthless.

I'm tired of hiding,
Hiding who I really am,
I'm tired of smiling,
When my smile is not real,
I'm tired of being scared,
When all I want is to be safe,
I'm tired of being tired.

Please let me walk away for a while,
When I do return,
I might return with a smile.