To A Professional Eulogist Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDAAEEFFGGHHII JJKKLLMMNNOO| Newman in you two parasites combine | A |
| As tapeworm and as graveworm too you shine | A |
| When on the virtues of the quick you've dwelt | B |
| The pride of residence was all you felt | B |
| What vain vulgarian the wish ne'er knew | C |
| To paint his lodging a flamboyant hue | C |
| And when the praises of the dead you've sung | D |
| 'Twas appetite not truth inspired your tongue | D |
| As ill bred men when warming to their wine | A |
| Boast of its merit though it be but brine | A |
| Nor gratitude incites your song nor should | E |
| Even charity would shun you if she could | E |
| You share 'tis true the rich man's daily dole | F |
| But what you get you take by way of toll | F |
| Vain to resist you vermifuge alone | G |
| Has power to push you from your robber throne | G |
| When to escape you he's compelled to die | H |
| Hey presto in the twinkling of an eye | H |
| You vanish as a tapeworm reappear | I |
| As graveworm and resume your curst career | I |
| As host no more to satisfy your need | J |
| He serves as dinner your unaltered greed | J |
| O thrifty sycophant of wealth and fame | K |
| Son of servility and priest of shame | K |
| While naught your mad ambition can abate | L |
| To lick the spittle of the rich and great | L |
| While still like smoke your eulogies arise | M |
| To soot your heroes and inflame our eyes | M |
| While still with holy oil like that which ran | N |
| Down Aaron's beard you smear each famous man | N |
| I cannot choose but think it very odd | O |
| It ne'er occurs to you to fawn on God | O |
Ambrose Bierce
(1)
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