The Scurril Press Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFGGHIJJKK LM LN NNNOOPPNNQQIRNNOOSNO NQQTTNN AN ANNUUOOVV WW XYYIIEEZZA2A2A2XXNNN NB2B2VVC2C2 NNOOEEOM JONESMITH loquitur I've slept right through | A |
The night a rather clever thing to do | A |
How soundly women sleep looks at his wife | B |
They're all alike The sweetest thing in life | B |
Is woman when she lies with folded tongue | C |
Its toil completed and its day song sung | C |
Thump That's the morning paper What a bore | D |
That it should be delivered at the door | D |
There ought to be some expeditious way | E |
To get it to one By this long delay | E |
The fizz gets off the news a rap is heard | F |
That's Jane the housemaid she's an early bird | F |
She's brought it to the bedroom door good soul | G |
Gets up and takes it in Upon the whole | G |
The system's not so bad a one What's here | H |
Gad if they've not got after listen dear | I |
To sleeping wife young Gastrotheos Well | J |
If Freedom shrieked when Kosciusko fell | J |
She'll shriek again with laughter seeing how | K |
They treated Gast with her Yet I'll allow | K |
'T is right if he goes dining at The Pup | L |
With Mrs Thing | M |
- | |
WIFE briskly waking up | L |
With her The hussy Yes it serves him right | N |
- | |
JONESMITH continuing to 'seek the light' | N |
What's this about old Impycu That's good | N |
Grip that's the funny man says Impy should | N |
Be used as a decoy in shooting tramps | O |
I knew old Impy when he had the 'stamps' | O |
To buy us all out and he wasn't then | P |
So bad a chap to have about Grip's pen | P |
Is just a tickler and the world no doubt | N |
Is better with it than it was without | N |
What thirteen ladies Jumping Jove we know | Q |
Them nearly all who gamble at a low | Q |
And very shocking game of cards called 'draw' | I |
O cracky how they'll squirm ha ha haw haw | R |
Let's see what else wife snores Well I'll be blest | N |
A woman doesn't understand a jest | N |
Hello What what the scurvy wretch proceeds | O |
To take a fling at me condemn him reads | O |
Tom Jonesmith my name's Thomas vulgar cad Of | S |
the new Shavings Bank the man's gone mad | N |
That's libelous I'll have him up for that Has | O |
had his corns cut Devil take the rat | N |
What business is 't of his I'd like to know | Q |
He didn't have to cut them Gods what low | Q |
And scurril things our papers have become | T |
You skim their contents and you get but scum | T |
Here Mary waking wife I've been attacked | N |
In this vile sheet By Jove it is a fact | N |
- | |
WIFE reading it How wicked Who do you | A |
Suppose 't was wrote it | N |
- | |
JONESMITH Who why who | A |
But Grip the so called funny man he wrote | N |
Me up because I'd not discount his note | N |
Blushes like sunset at the hideous lie | U |
He'll think of one that's better by and by | U |
Throws down the paper on the floor and treads | O |
A lively measure on it kicks the shreds | O |
And patches all about the room and still | V |
Performs his jig with unabated will | V |
- | |
WIFE warbling sweetly like an Elfland horn | W |
Dear do be careful of that second corn | W |
- | |
STANLEY | X |
Noting some great man's composition vile | Y |
A head of wisdom and a heart of guile | Y |
A will to conquer and a soul to dare | I |
Joined to the manners of a dancing bear | I |
Fools unaccustomed to the wide survey | E |
Of various Nature's compensating sway | E |
Untaught to separate the wheat and chaff | Z |
To praise the one and at the other laugh | Z |
Yearn all in vain and impotently seek | A2 |
Some flawless hero upon whom to wreak | A2 |
The sycophantic worship of the weak | A2 |
Not so the wise from superstition free | X |
Who find small pleasure in the bended knee | X |
Quick to discriminate 'twixt good and bad | N |
And willing in the king to find the cad | N |
No reason seen why genius and conceit | N |
The power to dazzle and the will to cheat | N |
The love of daring and the love of gin | B2 |
Should not dwell peaceful in a single skin | B2 |
To such great Stanley you're a hero still | V |
Despite your cradling in a tub for swill | V |
Your peasant manners can't efface the mark | C2 |
Of light you drew across the Land of Dark | C2 |
- | |
In you the extremes of character are wed | N |
To serve the quick and villify the dead | N |
Hero and clown O man of many sides | O |
The Muse of Truth adores you and derides | O |
And sheds impartial the revealing ray | E |
Upon your head of gold and feet of clay | E |
Ambrose Bierce
(1)
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