An Unmerry Christmas Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCCDDEEFFAA GGHHHHHHIIHHH HHJJKKHH LLHHMM NNHHOOHHHHPPP

Christmas you tell me comes but once a yearA
One place it never comes and that is hereB
Here in these pages no good wishes springC
No well worn greetings tediously ringC
For Christmas greetings are like pots of oreD
The hollower they are they ring the moreD
Here shall no holly cast a spiny shadeE
Nor mistletoe my solitude invadeE
No trinket laden vegetable comeF
No jorum steam with Sheolate of rumF
No shrilling children shall their voices rearA
Hurrah for Christmas without Christmas cheerA
-
No presents if you please I know too wellG
What Herbert Spencer if he didn't tellG
I know not if he did yet might have toldH
Of present giving in the days of oldH
When Early Man with gifts propitiatedH
The chiefs whom most he doubted feared and hatedH
Or tendered them in hope to reap some rudeH
Advantage from the taker's gratitudeH
Since thus the Gift its origin derivesI
How much of its first character survivesI
You know as well as I my stocking's tiedH
My pocket buttoned with my soul insideH
I save my money and I save my prideH
-
Dinner Yes thank you just a human bodyH
Done to a nutty brown and a tear toddyH
To give me appetite and as for drinkJ
About a half a jug of blood I thinkJ
Will do for still I love the red red wineK
Coagulating well with wrinkles fineK
Fretting the satin surface of its floodH
O tope of kings divine Falernian bloodH
-
Duse take the shouting fowls upon the limbL
The kneeling cattle and the rising hymnL
Has not a pagan rights to be regardedH
His heart assaulted and his ear bombardedH
With sentiments and sounds that good old PanM
Even in his demonium would banM
-
No friends no Christmas here for I have swornN
To keep my heart hard and my knees unwornN
Enough you have of jester player priestH
I as the skeleton attend your feastH
In the mad revelry to make a lullO
With shaken finger and with bobbing skullO
However you my services may floutH
Philosophy disdain and reason doubtH
I mean to hold in customary stateH
My dismal revelry and celebrateH
My yearly rite until the crack o' doomP
Ignore the cheerful season's warmth and bloomP
And cultivate an oasis of gloomP

Ambrose Bierce



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