A Question Of Eligibility Poem Rhyme Scheme

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It was a bruised and battered chap	A
The victim of some dire mishap	A
Who sat upon a rock and spent	B
His breath in this ungay lament	B
	-
'Some wars I've frequent heard of such	C
Has beat the everlastin' Dutch	C
But never fight was fit by man	D
To equal this which has began	D
In our I'm in it if you please	E
Academy of Sciences	F
For there is various gents belong	G
To it which go persistent wrong	G
And loving the debates' delight	H
Calls one another names at sight	H
Their disposition too accords	I
With fighting like they all was lords	I
Sech impulses should be withstood	J
'Tis scientific to be good	J
	-
''Twas one of them one night last week	K
Rose up his figure for to speak	K
'Please Mr Chair I'm holding here	L
A resolution which I fear	M
Some ancient fossils that has bust	N
Their cases and shook off their dust	N
To sit as Members here will find	O
Unpleasant not to say unkind '	-
And then he read it every word	P
And silence fell on all which heard	P
That resolution wild and strange	Q
Proposed a fundamental change	Q
Which was that idiots no more	R
Could join us as they had before	R
	-
'No sooner was he seated than	D
The members rose up to a man	D
Each chap was primed with a reply	S
And tried to snatch the Chairman's eye	S
They stomped and shook their fists in air	T
And O what words was uttered there	T
	-
'The Chair was silent but at last	U
He hove up his proportions vast	U
And stilled them tumults with a look	V
By which the undauntedest was shook	V
He smiled sarcastical and said	W
'If Argus was the Chair instead	W
Of me he'd lack enough of eyes	X
Each orator to recognize	X
And since denied a hearing you	Y
Might maybe undertake to do	Y
Each other harm before you cease	Z
I've took some steps to keep the peace	Z
I've ordered out alas alas	A2
That Science e'er to such a pass	A2
Should come I've ordered out the gas '	-
	-
'O if a tongue or pen of fire	B2
Was mine I could not tell entire	B2
What the ensuin' actions was	C2
When swollered up in darkness' jaws	D2
We fit and fit and fit and fit	E2
And everything we felt we hit	E2
We gouged we scratched and we pulled hair	T
And O what words was uttered there	T
And when at last the day dawn came	F2
Three hundred Scientists was lame	F2
Two hundred others couldn't stand	G2
They'd been so careless handled and	H2
One thousand at the very least	I2
Was spread upon the floor deceased	I2
'Twere easy to exaggerate	J2
But lies is things I mortal hate	J2
	-
'Such friends is the disaster sad	K2
Which has befel the Cal Acad	K2
And now the question is of more	R
Importance than it was before	R
Shall vacancies among us be	L2
To idiots threw open free '	-

Ambrose Bierce

A Question Of Eligibility Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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