Epistle To Dr Arbuthnot; Or, Prologue To The Satires Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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ADVERTISEMENTA
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This paper is a sort of bill of complaint begun many years since and drawn up by snatches as the several occasions offered I had no thoughts of publishing it till it pleased some persons of rank and fortune the authors of 'Verses to the Imitator of Horace ' and of an 'Epistle to a Doctor of Divinity from a Nobleman at Hampton Court' to attack in a very extraordinary manner not only my writings of which being public the public is judge but my person morals and family whereof to those who know me not a truer information may be requisite Being divided between the necessity to say something of myself and my own laziness to undertake so awkward a task I thought it the shortest way to put the last hand to this epistle If it have anything pleasing it will be that by which I am most desirous to please the truth and the sentiment and if anything offensive it will be only to those I am least sorry to offend the vicious or the ungenerousB
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Many will know their own pictures in it there being not a circumstance but what is true but I have for the most part spared their names and they may escape being laughed at if they pleaseB
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I would have some of them know it was owing to the request of the learned and candid friend to whom it is inscribed that I make not as free use of theirs as they have done of mine However I shall have this advantage and honour on my side that whereas by their proceeding any abuse may be directed at any man no injury can possibly be done by mine since a nameless character can never be found out but by its truth and likenessB
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P Shut shut the door good John fatigued I saidC
Tie up the knocker say I'm sick I'm deadC
The Dog star rages nay 'tis past a doubtD
All Bedlam or Parnassus is let outD
Fire in each eye and papers in each handE
They rave recite and madden round the landE
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What walls can guard me or what shades can hideF
They pierce my thickets through my grot they glideF
By land by water they renew the chargeG
They stop the chariot and they board the bargeG
No place is sacred not the church is freeH
Even Sunday shines no Sabbath day to meH
Then from the Mint walks forth the man of rhymeI
Happy to catch me just at dinner timeI
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Is there a parson much bemused in beerJ
A maudlin poetess a rhyming peerJ
A clerk foredoom'd his father's soul to crossB
Who pens a stanza when he should engrossB
Is there who lock'd from ink and paper scrawlsB
With desperate charcoal round his darken'd wallsB
All fly to Twit'nam and in humble strainK
Apply to me to keep them mad or vainK
Arthur whose giddy son neglects the lawsB
Imputes to me and my damn'd works the causeB
Poor Cornus sees his frantic wife elopeL
And curses wit and poetry and PopeL
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Friend to my life which did not you prolongM
The world had wanted many an idle songM
What drop or nostrum can this plague removeN
Or which must end me a fool's wrath or loveO
A dire dilemma either way I'm spedC
If foes they write if friends they read me deadC
Seized and tied down to judge how wretched IP
Who can't be silent and who will not lieP
To laugh were want of goodness and of graceB
And to be grave exceeds all power of faceB
I sit with sad civility I readC
With honest anguish and an aching headC
And drop at last but in unwilling earsB
This saving counsel 'Keep your piece nine years '-
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'Nine years ' cries he who high in Drury laneK
Lull'd by soft zephyrs through the broken paneK
Rhymes ere he wakes and prints before Term endsB
Obliged by hunger and request of friendsB
'The piece you think is incorrect why take itQ
I'm all submission what you'd have it make it '-
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Three things another's modest wishes boundR
My friendship and a prologue and ten poundR
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Pitholeon sends to me 'You know his GraceB
I want a patron ask him for a place '-
Pitholeon libell'd me 'But here's a letterS
Informs you sir 'twas when he knew no betterS
Dare you refuse him Curll invites to dineT
He'll write a journal or he'll turn divine '-
-
Bless me a packet ''Tis a stranger suesB
A virgin tragedy an orphan Muse '-
If I dislike it 'Furies death and rage '-
If I approve 'Commend it to the stage '-
There thank my stars my whole commission endsB
The players and I are luckily no friendsB
Fired that the house reject him ''Sdeath I'll print itQ
And shame the fools Your interest sir with Lintot '-
Lintot dull rogue will think your price too muchU
'Not sir if you revise it and retouch '-
All my demurs but double his attacksB
At last he whispers 'Do and we go snacks '-
Glad of a quarrel straight I clap the doorV
Sir let me see your works and you no moreV
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'Tis sung when Midas' ears began to springW
Midas a sacred person and a kingW
His very minister who spied them firstX
Some say his queen was forced to speak or burstX
And is not mine my friend a sorer caseB
When every coxcomb perks them in my faceB
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A Good friend forbear you deal in dangerous thingsB
I'd never name queens ministers or kingsB
Keep close to ears and those let asses prickY
'Tis nothingW
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P Nothing if they bite and kickY
Out with it Dunciad let the secret passB
That secret to each fool that he's an assB
The truth once told and wherefore should we lieP
The queen of Midas slept and so may IP
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You think this cruel Take it for a ruleZ
No creature smarts so little as a foolZ
Let peals of laughter Codrus round thee breakA2
Thou unconcern'd canst hear the mighty crackB2
Pit box and gallery in convulsions hurl'dC2
Thou stand'st unshook amidst a bursting worldC2
Who shames a scribbler break one cobweb throughD2
He spins the slight self pleasing thread anewD2
Destroy his fib or sophistry in vainK
The creature's at his dirty work againE2
Throned in the centre of his thin designsB
Proud of a vast extent of flimsy linesB
Whom have I hurt has poet yet or peerJ
Lost the arch'd eyebrow or Parnassian sneerJ
And has not Colly still his lord and whoreV
His butchers Henley his freemasons MooreF2
Does not one table Bavius still admitQ
Still to one bishop Philips seem a witQ
Still SapphoL
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A Hold for God sake you'll offendG2
No names be calm learn prudence of a friendG2
I too could write and I am twice as tallH2
But foes like theseB
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P One flatterer's worse than allH2
Of all mad creatures if the learn'd are rightI2
It is the slaver kills and not the biteI2
A fool quite angry is quite innocentA
Alas 'tis ten times worse when they repentJ2
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One dedicates in high heroic proseB
And ridicules beyond a hundred foesB
One from all Grub street will my fame defendG2
And more abusive calls himself my friendG2
This prints my letters that expects a bribeK2
And others roar aloud 'Subscribe subscribe '-
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There are who to my person pay their courtL2
I cough like Horace and though lean am shortL2
Ammon's great son one shoulder had too highP
Such Ovid's nose and 'Sir you have an eye'M2
Go on obliging creatures make me seeB
All that disgraced my betters met in meB
Say for my comfort languishing in bedC
'Just so immortal Maro held his head '-
And when I die be sure you let me knowN2
Great Homer died three thousand years agoN2
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Why did I write what sin to me unknownO2
Dipp'd me in ink my parents' or my ownO2
As yet a child nor yet a fool to fameP2
I lisp'd in numbers for the numbers cameP2
I left no calling for this idle tradeQ2
No duty broke no father disobey'dQ2
The Muse but served to ease some friend not wifeR2
To help me through this long disease my lifeR2
To second Arbuthnot thy art and careS2
And teach the being you preserved to bearS2
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But why then publish Granville the politeI2
And knowing Walsh would tell me I could writeI2
Well natured Garth inflamed with early praiseB
And Congreve loved and Swift endured my laysB
The courtly Talbot Somers Sheffield readC
Even mitred Rochester would nod the headC
And St John's self great Dryden's friends beforeV
With open arms received one poet moreV
Happy my studies when by these approvedT2
Happier their author when by these belovedU2
From these the world will judge of men and booksB
Not from the Burnets Oldmixons and CookesB
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Soft were my numbers who could take offenceB
While pure description held the place of senseB
Like gentle Fanny's was my flowery themeV2
'A painted mistress or a purling stream '-
Yet then did Gildon draw his venal quillW2
I wish'd the man a dinner and sat stillW2
Yet then did Dennis rave in furious fretX2
I never answer'd I was not in debtX2
If want provoked or madness made them printY2
I waged no war with Bedlam or the MintY2
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Did some more sober critic come abroadZ2
If wrong I smiled if right I kiss'd the rodA3
Pains reading study are their just pretenceB
And all they want is spirit taste and senseB
Commas and points they set exactly rightI2
And 'twere a sin to rob them of their miteI2
Yet ne'er one sprig of laurel graced these ribaldsB
From slashing Bentley down to piddling TibbaldsB
Each wight who reads not and but scans and spellsB
Each word catcher that lives on syllablesB
Even such small critics some regard may claimP2
Preserved in Milton's or in Shakspeare's nameP2
Pretty in amber to observe the formsB
Of hairs or straws or dirt or grubs or wormsB
The things we know are neither rich nor rareS2
But wonder how the devil they got thereS2
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Were others angry I excused them tooD2
Well might they rage I gave them but their dueD2
A man's true merit 'tis not hard to findB3
But each man's secret standard in his mindB3
That casting weight pride adds to emptinessB
This who can gratify for who can guessB
The bard whom pilfer'd Pastorals renownC3
Who turns a Persian tale for half a crownC3
Just writes to make his barrenness appearJ
And strains from hard bound brains eight lines a yearJ
He who still wanting though he lives on theftD3
Steals much spends little yet has nothing leftD3
And he who now to sense now nonsense leaningW
Means not but blunders round about a meaningW
And he whose fustian's so sublimely badE3
It is not poetry but prose run madE3
All these my modest satire bade translateF3
And own'd that nine such poets made a TateF3
How did they fume and stamp and roar and chafeG3
And swear not Addison himself was safeG3
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Peace to all such but were there one whose firesB
True genius kindles and fair fame inspiresB
Blest with each talent and each art to pleaseB
And born to write converse and live with easeB
Should such a man too fond to rule aloneO2
Bear like the Turk no brother near the throneO2
View him with scornful yet with jealous eyesB
And hate for arts that caused himself to riseB
Damn with faint praise assent with civil leerJ
And without sneering teach the rest to sneerJ
Willing to wound and yet afraid to strikeH3
Just hint a fault and hesitate dislikeH3
Alike reserved to blame or to commendG2
A timorous foe and a suspicious friendG2
Dreading e'en fools by flatterers besiegedI3
And so obliging that he ne'er obligedJ3
Like Cato give his little senate lawsB
And sit attentive to his own applauseB
While wits and Templars every sentence raiseB
And wonder with a foolish face of praiseB
Who but must laugh if such a man there beB
Who would not weep if Atticus were heB
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What though my name stood rubric on the wallsB
Or plaster'd posts with claps in capitalsB
Or smoking forth a hundred hawkers' loadK3
On wings of winds came flying all abroadZ2
I sought no homage from the race that writeI2
I kept like Asian monarchs from their sightI2
Poems I heeded now be rhymed so longM
No more than thou great George a birthday songM
I ne'er with wits or witlings pass'd my daysB
To spread about the itch of verse and praiseB
Nor like a puppy daggled through the townC3
To fetch and carry sing song up and downC3
Nor at rehearsals sweat and mouth'd and criedF
With handkerchief and orange at my sideF
But sick of fops and poetry and prateF
To Bufo left the whole Castalian stateF
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Proud as Apollo on his forked hillW2
Sat full blown Bufo puff'd by every quillW2
Fed with soft dedication all day longM
Horace and he went hand in hand in songM
His library where busts of poets deadF
And a true Pindar stood without a headF
Received of wits an undistinguish'd raceB
Who first his judgment ask'd and then a placeB
Much they extoll'd his pictures much his seatF
And flatter'd every day and some days eatF
Till grown more frugal in his riper daysB
He paid some bards with port and some with praiseB
To some a dry rehearsal was assign'dF
And others harder still he paid in kindF
Dryden alone what wonder came not nighP
Dryden alone escaped this judging eyeP
But still the great have kindness in reserveL3
He help'd to bury whom he help'd to starveM3
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May some choice patron bless each gray goose quillW2
May every Bavius have his Bufo stillW2
So when a statesman wants a day's defenceB
Or envy holds a whole week's war with senseB
Or simple pride for flattery makes demandsB
May dunce by dunce be whistled off my handsB
Bless'd be the great for those they take awayN3
And those they left me for they left me GayN3
Left me to see neglected genius bloomO3
Neglected die and tell it on his tombO3
Of all thy blameless life the sole returnP3
My verse and Queensberry weeping o'er thy urnP3
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Oh let me live my own and die so tooF
To live and die is all I have to doF
Maintain a poet's dignity and easeB
And see what friends and read what books I pleaseB
Above a patron though I condescendF
Sometimes to call a minister my friendF
I was not born for courts or great affairsB
I pay my debts believe and say my prayersB
Can sleep without a poem in my headF
Nor know if Dennis be alive or deadF
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Why am I ask'd what next shall see the lightF
Heavens was I born for nothing but to writeF
Has life no joys for me or to be graveQ3
Have I no friend to serve no soul to saveQ3
'I found him close with Swift Indeed no doubtF
Cries prating Balbus something will come out '-
'Tis all in vain deny it as I willW2
'No such a genius never can lie still '-
And then for mine obligingly mistakesB
The first lampoon Sir Will or Bubo makesB
Poor guiltless I and can I choose but smileR3
When every coxcomb knows me by my styleR3
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Cursed be the verse how well soe'er it flowN2
That tends to make one worthy man my foeN2
Give virtue scandal innocence a fearJ
Or from the soft eyed virgin steal a tearJ
But he who hurts a harmless neighbour's peaceB
Insults fallen worth or beauty in distressB
Who loves a lie lame slander helps aboutF
Who writes a libel or who copies outF
That fop whose pride affects a patron's nameP2
Yet absent wounds an author's honest fameP2
Who can your merit selfishly approveN
And show the sense of it without the loveO
Who has the vanity to call you friendF
Yet wants the honour injured to defendF
Who tells whate'er you think whate'er you sayN3
And if he lie not must at least betrayN3
Who to the dean and silver bell can swearJ
And sees at Canons what was never thereJ
Who reads but with a lust to misapplyP
Make satire a lampoon and fiction lieP
A lash like mine no honest man shall dreadF
But all such babbling blockheads in his steadF
Let Sporus trembleS3
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A What that thing of silkT3
Sporus that mere white curd of ass's milkT3
Satire or sense alas can Sporus feelU3
Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheelU3
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P Yet let me flap this bug with gilded wingsB
This painted child of dirt that stinks and stingsB
Whose buzz the witty and the fair annoysB
Yet wit ne'er tastes and beauty ne'er enjoysB
So well bred spaniels civilly delightF
In mumbling of the game they dare not biteF
Eternal smiles his emptiness betrayN3
As shallow streams run dimpling all the wayN3
Whether in florid impotence he speaksB
And as the prompter breathes the puppet squeaksB
Or at the ear of Eve familiar toadF
Half froth half venom spits himself abroadF
In puns or politics or tales or liesB
Or spite or smut or rhymes or blasphemiesB
His wit all see saw between that and thisB
Now high now low now master up now missB
And he himself one vile antithesisB
Amphibious thing that acting either partF
The trifling head or the corrupted heartF
Fop at the toilet flatterer at the boardF
Now trips a lady and now struts a lordF
Eve's tempter thus the Rabbins have express'dF
A cherub's face a reptile all the restF
Beauty that shocks you parts that none will trustF
Wit that can creep and pride that licks the dustF
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Not Fortune's worshipper nor Fashion's foolZ
Not Lucre's madman nor Ambition's toolZ
Not proud nor servile be one poet's praiseB
That if he pleased he pleased by manly waysB
That flattery even to kings he held a shameP2
And thought a lie in verse or prose the sameP2
That not in Fancy's maze he wander'd longM
But stoop'd to Truth and moralised his songM
That not for Fame but Virtue's better endF
He stood the furious foe the timid friendF
The damning critic half approving witF
The coxcomb hit or fearing to be hitF
Laugh'd at the loss of friends he never hadF
The dull the proud the wicked and the madF
The distant threats of vengeance on his headF
The blow unfelt the tear he never shedF
The tale revived the lie so oft o'erthrownP3
Th' imputed trash and dulness not his ownP3
The morals blacken'd when the writings 'scapeL
The libell'd person and the pictured shapeL
Abuse on all he loved or loved him spreadF
A friend in exile or a father deadF
The whisper that to greatness still too nearJ
Perhaps yet vibrates on his sovereign's earJ
Welcome for thee fair Virtue all the pastF
For thee fair Virtue welcome even the lastF
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A But why insult the poor affront the greatF
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P A knave's a knave to me in every stateF
Alike my scorn if he succeed or failV3
Sporus at court or Japhet in a jailV3
A hireling scribbler or a hireling peerJ
Knight of the post corrupt or of the shireJ
If on a pillory or near a throneP3
He gain his prince's ear or lose his ownP3
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Yet soft by nature more a dupe than witF
Sappho can tell you how this man was bitF
This dreaded satirist Dennis will confessB
Foe to his pride but friend to his distressB
So humble he has knock'd at Tibbald's doorJ
Has drunk with Cibber nay has rhymed for MooreJ
Full ten years slander'd did he once replyP
Three thousand suns went down on Welsted's lieP
To please a mistress one aspersed his lifeR2
He lash'd him not but let her be his wifeR2
Let Budgell charge low Grub street on his quillW2
And write whate'er he pleased except his willW2
Let the two Curlls of town and court abuseB
His father mother body soul and MuseB
Yet why that father held it for a ruleZ
It was a sin to call our neighbour foolZ
That harmless mother thought no wife a whoreJ
Hear this and spare his family James MooreJ
Unspotted names and memorable longM
If there be force in virtue or in songM
-
Of gentle blood part shed in honour's causeB
While yet in Britain honour had applauseB
Each parent sprungW3
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A What fortune prayN3
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P Their ownP3
And better got than Bestia's from the throneP3
Born to no pride inheriting no strifeR2
Nor marrying discord in a noble wifeR2
Stranger to civil and religious rageX3
The good man walk'd innoxious through his ageX3
No courts he saw no suits would ever tryP
Nor dared an oath nor hazarded a lieP
Unlearn'd he knew no schoolman's subtle artF
No language but the language of the heartF
By nature honest by experience wiseB
Healthy by temperance and by exerciseB
His life though long to sickness pass'd unknownP3
His death was instant and without a groanP3
O grant me thus to live and thus to dieP
Who sprung from kings shall know less joy than IP
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O friend may each domestic bliss be thineP3
Be no unpleasing melancholy mineP3
Me let the tender office long engageX3
To rock the cradle of reposing ageX3
With lenient arts extend a mother's breathY3
Make languor smile and smooth the bed of deathY3
Explore the thought explain the asking eyeP
And keep a while one parent from the skyP
On cares like these if length of days attendF
May Heaven to bless those days preserve my friendF
Preserve him social cheerful and sereneP3
And just as rich as when he served a QueenP3
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A Whether that blessing be denied or givenP3
Thus far was right the rest belongs to HeavenP3
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VARIATIONSB
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After VER in the MSB
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Is there a bard in durance turn them freeB
With all their brandish'd reams they run to meB
Is there a 'prentice having seen two playsB
Who would do something in his semptress' praiseB
-
VER in the first editionP3
-
Dear Doctor tell me is not this a curseB
Say is their anger or their friendship worseB
-
VER in the MSB
-
If you refuse he goes as fates inclineP3
To plague Sir Robert or to turn divineP3
-
VER in the former editionP3
-
Cibber and I are luckily no friendsB
-
VER in the MSB
-
For song for silence some expect a bribeK2
And others roar aloud 'Subscribe subscribe '-
Time praise or money is the least they craveQ3
Yet each declares the other fool or knaveQ3
-
After VER in the MSB
-
But friend this shape which you and Curll admireJ
Came not from Ammon's son but from my sireJ
And for my head if you'll the truth excuseB
I had it from my mother not the MuseB
Happy if he in whom these frailties join'dF
Had heir'd as well the virtues of the mindF
-
After VER in the MSB
-
Who if two wits on rival themes contestF
Approves of each but likes the worst the bestF
-
After VER in the MSB
-
To bards reciting he vouchsafed a nodF
And snuff'd their incense like a gracious godF
Our ministers like gladiators liveZ3
'Tis half their bus'ness blows to ward or giveA4
The good their virtue would effect or senseB
Dies between exigents and self defenceB
-
After VER in the MSB
-
Friendships from youth I sought and seek them stillW2
Fame like the wind may breathe where'er it willW2
The world I knew but made it not my schoolZ
And in a course of flattery lived no foolZ
-
After VER in the MSB
-
P What if I sing Augustus great and goodF
A You did so lately was it understoodF
P Be nice no more but with a mouth profoundF
As rumbling D s or a Norfolk houndF
With George and Fred'ric roughen every verseB
Then smooth up all and Caroline rehearseB
A No the high task to lift up kings to godF
Leave to court sermons and to birthday odesB
On themes like these superior far to thineP3
Let laurell'd Cibber and great Arnal shineP3
P Why write at allH2
A Yes silence if you keepL
The town the court the wits the dunces weepL
-
VER in the MSB
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Once and but once his heedless youth was bitF
And liked that dangerous thing a female witF
Safe as he thought though all the prudent chidF
He writ no libels but my lady didF
Great odds in amorous or poetic gameP2
Where woman's is the sin and man's the shameP2
-
After VER in the MSB
-
And of myself too something must I sayN3
Take then this verse the trifle of a dayN3
And if it live it lives but to commendF
The man whose heart has ne'er forgot a friendF
Or head an author critic yet politeF
And friend to learning yet too wise to writeF

Alexander Pope



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