Farmer Stebbins Ahead Poem Rhyme Scheme

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DEAR COUSIN JOHN	A
	-
I'm very glad you sent that money through	B
By Cousin Seth an' not by mail as I requested you	B
The fam'ly's just so much ahead 'twere best it never came	C
If Jeroboam Jones had twined his fingers 'round the same	C
For that young man has principles fit only to abhor	D
And isn't the kind of relative that I was lookin' for	D
	-
My sakes Millennium's nowhere near when men so false can be	E
As to equivocate themselves into my family tree	E
An' on its honest branches graft the shoots of their design	F
An' make me think they're good because they're relatives of mine	F
While under those fraternal smiles a robber's frown is hid	G
But that's the inappropriate thing that Jeroboam did	G
	-
When Cousin Seth the tavern reached whose clerk o'ershadows me	E
He cried Where is my long lost son I've come so far to see	E
An' so to fill that father's heart with resurrected joy	H
I twisted 'round with him a bit to try an' find the boy	H
An' comin' where I had the luck that hymn book for to win	I
I opened quietly the door an' both of us went in	I
	-
The Superintendent still was there he gave a little start	J
But welcomed us apparently with overflowin' heart	J
An' told us all about the work an' how 'twas gettin' on	A
An' how much money those who gave unto the cause had won	K
But Cousin Seth though much impressed with what he heard an' saw	L
Said he didn't fix the envelopes an' b'lieved he wouldn't draw	L
	-
Just then the door was opened quick an' with a solemn grin	I
Young Jeroboam Jones appeared an' sidled softly in	I
An' with him was an older man who looked enough like me	E
To've been a reg'lar Stebbins too so far as one could see	E
But slappin' Seth upon the back I said My duty's done	K
For this is Jeroboam Jones your long lost oldest son	K
	-
My 'long lost oldest son ' said he he's 'bout as much my son	K
As you are the belov d babe of Gen'ral Washington	K
It strikes me that my married life was very much amiss	M
If I'm responsible for such a sneakin' face as this	M
He's blinded you by his supposed relationship to me	E
He's no one I have ever seen or ever want to see	E
	-
As when a fog above a field the sudden breezes tore	D
You spied a thousand things you did not even miss before	D
So all the facts of this affair as clear as summer skies	N
Straightway arranged themselves before my reconstructed eyes	N
That these were not veracious men an' this no Sunday school	O
An' naught was what it seemed except one old bald headed fool	O
	-
I held those two deceivers out with unassisted strength	P
An' by the collar shook each one to my arm's farthest length	P
They gasped an' danced an' skipped around without a word to say	Q
They put their heads together in a new an' painful way	Q
Due ninety dollars fifty cents an' not a penny less	R
I shouted an' I'll send you back your hymn book by express	R
	-
When finally in my discourse a breathin' pause occurred	S
The Superintendent counted out the cash without a word	S
Which with a manner dignified I coldly repossessed	T
An' still retainin' Jeroboam that scamp I thus addressed	T
An' so you are the bogus friend and relative so free	E
To spend his time a makin' fools of poor old men like me	E
	-
I'm Supervisor of the town where I have lived so long	U
There ain't a man in all that part will say I've done him wrong	U
There ain't a man will claim but what I'm ordinary keen	V
But when I plant myself in town I grow exceedin' green	V
An' any kind expressioned man who acts a civil part	J
Can always find my soul to home an' house room in my heart	J
	-
It's sad for such a smile as yours to find so mean a fate	W
An' there's some good in you at least enough to use for bait	W
Without some kindness in your heart you couldn't have landed me	E
An' as to how you've used your gifts just pause a bit an' see	E
I've gambled by you're callin' it a charitable name	C
And my self valuation sunk with unaccustomed shame	C
	-
I've done what I'd have whipped my boys for even lookin' at	X
An' don't suppose but what I own part of the blame for that	X
I thought I saw a chance to make five dollars out o' one	K
Which with strict justice all around is very seldom done	K
But up to that outrageous point remember I was led	Y
By your assumed relationship an' several things you said	Y
	-
Do you reflect young man upon the fruit you're growin' to	B
There's prison gates a waitin' now to stand in front of you	B
There's grief of unexpected kinds an' every sort of shame	C
To send you some time from this world much poorer than you came	C
Your guilty head you hang before us sinners standin' by	Z
What angle do you s'pose 'twould take 'mongst angels in the sky	Z
	-
	-
	-
There's hope e'en on the death bed for a square straightforward thief	A2
But Judases have always come to most peculiar grief	A2
The Lord has pity I suppose for errin' men an' weak	B2
But no good satisfact'ry place in which to put a sneak	B2
An' when a man wins men's esteem then thrives by their mistakes	C2
He makes himself a bigger fool than all the fools he makes	C2
	-
	-
	-
Then my adopted relative I seated in a chair	D2
With amply necessary help an' sev'ral pounds to spare	D2
Then Seth an' I with dignity bade both the scamps good day	Q
Advisin' them to gain their bread in some dissimilar way	Q
An' as we thundered down the stairs with heavy rural tread	Y
I felt that I'd at last come out some several rods ahead	Y
	-
A S	R

William Mckendree Carleton

Farmer Stebbins Ahead Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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