The King Of Brentford-s Testament Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCBDB EFGFE AHDHA AFAFIF AIDIAI JAGAAA GABADA BADADA KAEAJA DDDDED DDIDA DADD A AAE AAGAAA ALDLDM BBNBJB AAOADA AFGFA DAAADA APAQEJ DJE D DRO AE QDEDBD BAAAQA QAEAEA DJBJAJ QDGDAD DDADAD AAEAAA JDJDJD D E DA DDDDBD DASAD JDTDAD AAAAA A UQ JAAAVJ JAEAJA AAJAEA JEAEE AAAAAAAA ABABABThe noble King of Brentford | A |
Was old and very sick | B |
He summon'd his physicians | C |
To wait upon him quick | B |
They stepp'd into their coaches | D |
And brought their best physick | B |
- | |
They cramm'd their gracious master | E |
With potion and with pill | F |
They drench'd him and they bled him | G |
They could not cure his ill | F |
'Go fetch ' says he 'my lawyer | E |
I'd better make my will ' | - |
- | |
The monarch's royal mandate | A |
The lawyer did obey | H |
The thought of six and eightpence | D |
Did make his heart full gay | H |
'What is't ' says he 'your Majesty | A |
Would wish of me to day ' | - |
- | |
'The doctors have belabor'd me | A |
With potion and with pill | F |
My hours of life are counted | A |
O man of tape and quill | F |
Sit down and mend a pen or two | I |
I want to make my will | F |
- | |
'O'er all the land of Brentford | A |
I'm lord and eke of Kew | I |
I've three per cents and five per cents | D |
My debts are but a few | I |
And to inherit after me | A |
I have but children two | I |
- | |
Prince Thomas is my eldest son | J |
A sober Prince is he | A |
And from the day we breech'd him | G |
Till now he's twenty three | A |
He never caused disquiet | A |
To his poor Mamma or me | A |
- | |
'At school they never flogg'd him | G |
At college though not fast | A |
Yet his little go and great go | B |
He creditably pass'd | A |
And made his year's allowance | D |
For eighteen months to last | A |
- | |
'He never owed a shilling | B |
Went never drunk to bed | A |
He has not two ideas | D |
Within his honest head | A |
In all respects he differs | D |
From my second son Prince Ned | A |
- | |
'When Tom has half his income | K |
Laid by at the year's end | A |
Poor Ned has ne'er a stiver | E |
That rightly he may spend | A |
But sponges on a tradesman | J |
Or borrows from a friend | A |
- | |
'While Tom his legal studies | D |
Most soberly pursues | D |
Poor Ned most pass his mornings | D |
A dawdling with the Muse | D |
While Tom frequents his banker | E |
Young Ned frequents the Jews | D |
- | |
'Ned drives about in buggies | D |
Tom sometimes takes a 'bus | D |
Ah cruel fate why made you | I |
My children differ thus | D |
Why make of Tom a DULLARD | A |
And Ned a GENIUS ' | - |
- | |
'You'll cut him with a shilling ' | - |
Exclaimed the man of wits | D |
'I'll leave my wealth ' said Brentford | A |
'Sir Lawyer as befits | D |
And portion both their fortunes | D |
Unto their several wits ' | - |
- | |
'Your Grace knows best ' the lawyer said | A |
'On your commands I wait ' | - |
'Be silent Sir ' says Brentford | A |
'A plague upon your prate | A |
Come take your pen and paper | E |
And write as I dictate ' | - |
- | |
The will as Brentford spoke it | A |
Was writ and signed and closed | A |
He bade the lawyer leave him | G |
And turn'd him round and dozed | A |
And next week in the churchyard | A |
The good old King reposed | A |
- | |
Tom dressed in crape and hatband | A |
Of mourners was the chief | L |
In bitter self upbraidings | D |
Poor Edward showed his grief | L |
Tom hid his fat white countenance | D |
In his pocket handkerchief | M |
- | |
Ned's eyes were full of weeping | B |
He falter'd in his walk | B |
Tom never shed a tear | N |
But onwards he did stalk | B |
As pompous black and solemn | J |
As any catafalque | B |
- | |
And when the bones of Brentford | A |
That gentle king and just | A |
With bell and book and candle | O |
Were duly laid in dust | A |
'Now gentleman ' says Thomas | D |
'Let business be discussed | A |
- | |
'When late our sire beloved | A |
Was taken deadly ill | F |
Sir Lawyer you attended him | G |
I mean to tax your bill | F |
And as you signed and wrote it | A |
I prithee read the will ' | - |
- | |
The lawyer wiped his spectacles | D |
And drew the parchment out | A |
And all the Brentford family | A |
Sat eager round about | A |
Poor Ned was somewhat anxious | D |
But Tom had ne'er a doubt | A |
- | |
'My son as I make ready | A |
To seek my last long home | P |
Some cares I had for Neddy | A |
But none for thee my Tom | Q |
Sobriety and order | E |
You ne'er departed from | J |
- | |
'Ned hath a brilliant genius | D |
And thou a plodding brain | J |
On thee I think with pleasure | E |
On him with doubt and pain ' | - |
'You see good Ned ' says Thomas | D |
'What he thought about us twain ' | - |
- | |
'Though small was your allowance | D |
You saved a little store | R |
And those who save a little | O |
Shall get a plenty more ' | - |
As the lawyer read this compliment | A |
Tom's eyes were running o'er | E |
- | |
'The tortoise and the hare Tom | Q |
Set out at each his pace | D |
The hare it was the fleeter | E |
The tortoise won the race | D |
And since the world's beginning | B |
This ever was the case | D |
- | |
'Ned's genius blithe and singing | B |
Steps gayly o'er the ground | A |
As steadily you trudge it | A |
He clears it with a bound | A |
But dulness has stout legs Tom | Q |
And wind that's wondrous sound | A |
- | |
'O'er fruits and flowers alike Tom | Q |
You pass with plodding feet | A |
You heed not one nor t'other | E |
But onwards go your beat | A |
While genius stops to loiter | E |
With all that he may meet | A |
- | |
'And ever as he wanders | D |
Will have a pretext fine | J |
For sleeping in the morning | B |
Or loitering to dine | J |
Or dozing in the shade | A |
Or basking in the shine | J |
- | |
'Your little steady eyes Tom | Q |
Though not so bright as those | D |
That restless round about him | G |
His flashing genius throws | D |
Are excellently suited | A |
To look before your nose | D |
- | |
'Thank heaven then for the blinkers | D |
It placed before your eyes | D |
The stupidest are weakest | A |
The witty are not wise | D |
Oh bless your good stupidity | A |
It is your dearest prize | D |
- | |
'And though my lands are wide | A |
And plenty is my gold | A |
Still better gifts from Nature | E |
My Thomas do you hold | A |
A brain that's thick and heavy | A |
A heart that's dull and cold | A |
- | |
'Too dull to feel depression | J |
Too hard to heed distress | D |
Too cold to yield to passion | J |
Or silly tenderness | D |
March on your road is open | J |
To wealth Tom and success | D |
- | |
'Ned sinneth in extravagance | D |
And you in greedy lust ' | - |
'I' faith ' says Ned 'our father | E |
Is less polite than just ' | - |
'In you son Tom I've confidence | D |
But Ned I cannot trust | A |
- | |
'Wherefore my lease and copyholds | D |
My lands and tenements | D |
My parks my farms and orchards | D |
My houses and my rents | D |
My Dutch stock and my Spanish stock | B |
My five and three per cents | D |
- | |
'I leave to you my Thomas' | D |
'What all ' poor Edward said | A |
'Well well I should have spent them | S |
And Tom's a prudent head' | A |
'I leave to you my Thomas | D |
To you in TRUST for Ned ' | - |
- | |
The wrath and consternation | J |
What poet e'er could trace | D |
That at this fatal passage | T |
Came o'er Prince Tom his face | D |
The wonder of the company | A |
And honest Ned's amaze | D |
- | |
''Tis surely some mistake ' | - |
Good naturedly cries Ned | A |
The lawyer answered gravely | A |
''Tis even as I said | A |
'Twas thus his gracious Majesty | A |
Ordain'd on his death bed | A |
- | |
'See here the will is witness'd | A |
And here's his autograph ' | - |
'In truth our father's writing ' | - |
Says Edward with a laugh | U |
'But thou shalt not be a loser Tom | Q |
We'll share it half and half ' | - |
- | |
'Alas my kind young gentleman | J |
This sharing cannot be | A |
'Tis written in the testament | A |
That Brentford spoke to me | A |
'I do forbid Prince Ned to give | V |
Prince Tom a halfpenny | J |
- | |
''He hath a store of money | J |
But ne'er was known to lend it | A |
He never help'd his brother | E |
The poor he ne'er befriended | A |
He hath no need of property | J |
Who knows not how to spend it | A |
- | |
''Poor Edward knows but how to spend | A |
And thrifty Tom to hoard | A |
Let Thomas be the steward then | J |
And Edward be the lord | A |
And as the honest laborer | E |
Is worthy his reward | A |
- | |
''I pray Prince Ned my second son | J |
And my successor dear | E |
To pay to his intendant | A |
Five hundred pounds a year | E |
And to think of his old father | E |
And live and make good cheer '' | - |
- | |
Such was old Brentford's honest testament | A |
He did devise his moneys for the best | A |
And lies in Brentford church in peaceful rest | A |
Prince Edward lived and money made and spent | A |
But his good sire was wrong it is confess'd | A |
To say his son young Thomas never lent | A |
He did Young Thomas lent at interest | A |
And nobly took his twenty five per cent | A |
- | |
Long time the famous reign of Ned endured | A |
O'er Chiswick Fulham Brentford Putney Kew | B |
But of extravagance he ne'er was cured | A |
And when both died as mortal men will do | B |
'Twas commonly reported that the steward | A |
Was very much the richer of the two | B |
William Makepeace Thackeray
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