The King Of Brentford-s Testament Poem Rhyme Scheme

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William Makepeace Thackeray

The King Of Brentford-s Testament Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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The noble King of Brentford	A
Was old and very sick	B
He summon'd his physicians	C
To wait upon him quick	B
They stepp'd into their coaches	D
And brought their best physick	B
	-
They cramm'd their gracious master	E
With potion and with pill	F
They drench'd him and they bled him	G
They could not cure his ill	F
'Go fetch ' says he 'my lawyer	E
I'd better make my will '	-
	-
The monarch's royal mandate	A
The lawyer did obey	H
The thought of six and eightpence	D
Did make his heart full gay	H
'What is't ' says he 'your Majesty	A
Would wish of me to day '	-
	-
'The doctors have belabor'd me	A
With potion and with pill	F
My hours of life are counted	A
O man of tape and quill	F
Sit down and mend a pen or two	I
I want to make my will	F
	-
'O'er all the land of Brentford	A
I'm lord and eke of Kew	I
I've three per cents and five per cents	D
My debts are but a few	I
And to inherit after me	A
I have but children two	I
	-
Prince Thomas is my eldest son	J
A sober Prince is he	A
And from the day we breech'd him	G
Till now he's twenty three	A
He never caused disquiet	A
To his poor Mamma or me	A
	-
'At school they never flogg'd him	G
At college though not fast	A
Yet his little go and great go	B
He creditably pass'd	A
And made his year's allowance	D
For eighteen months to last	A
	-
'He never owed a shilling	B
Went never drunk to bed	A
He has not two ideas	D
Within his honest head	A
In all respects he differs	D
From my second son Prince Ned	A
	-
'When Tom has half his income	K
Laid by at the year's end	A
Poor Ned has ne'er a stiver	E
That rightly he may spend	A
But sponges on a tradesman	J
Or borrows from a friend	A
	-
'While Tom his legal studies	D
Most soberly pursues	D
Poor Ned most pass his mornings	D
A dawdling with the Muse	D
While Tom frequents his banker	E
Young Ned frequents the Jews	D
	-
'Ned drives about in buggies	D
Tom sometimes takes a 'bus	D
Ah cruel fate why made you	I
My children differ thus	D
Why make of Tom a DULLARD	A
And Ned a GENIUS '	-
	-
'You'll cut him with a shilling '	-
Exclaimed the man of wits	D
'I'll leave my wealth ' said Brentford	A
'Sir Lawyer as befits	D
And portion both their fortunes	D
Unto their several wits '	-
	-
'Your Grace knows best ' the lawyer said	A
'On your commands I wait '	-
'Be silent Sir ' says Brentford	A
'A plague upon your prate	A
Come take your pen and paper	E
And write as I dictate '	-
	-
The will as Brentford spoke it	A
Was writ and signed and closed	A
He bade the lawyer leave him	G
And turn'd him round and dozed	A
And next week in the churchyard	A
The good old King reposed	A
	-
Tom dressed in crape and hatband	A
Of mourners was the chief	L
In bitter self upbraidings	D
Poor Edward showed his grief	L
Tom hid his fat white countenance	D
In his pocket handkerchief	M
	-
Ned's eyes were full of weeping	B
He falter'd in his walk	B
Tom never shed a tear	N
But onwards he did stalk	B
As pompous black and solemn	J
As any catafalque	B
	-
And when the bones of Brentford	A
That gentle king and just	A
With bell and book and candle	O
Were duly laid in dust	A
'Now gentleman ' says Thomas	D
'Let business be discussed	A
	-
'When late our sire beloved	A
Was taken deadly ill	F
Sir Lawyer you attended him	G
I mean to tax your bill	F
And as you signed and wrote it	A
I prithee read the will '	-
	-
The lawyer wiped his spectacles	D
And drew the parchment out	A
And all the Brentford family	A
Sat eager round about	A
Poor Ned was somewhat anxious	D
But Tom had ne'er a doubt	A
	-
'My son as I make ready	A
To seek my last long home	P
Some cares I had for Neddy	A
But none for thee my Tom	Q
Sobriety and order	E
You ne'er departed from	J
	-
'Ned hath a brilliant genius	D
And thou a plodding brain	J
On thee I think with pleasure	E
On him with doubt and pain '	-
'You see good Ned ' says Thomas	D
'What he thought about us twain '	-
	-
'Though small was your allowance	D
You saved a little store	R
And those who save a little	O
Shall get a plenty more '	-
As the lawyer read this compliment	A
Tom's eyes were running o'er	E
	-
'The tortoise and the hare Tom	Q
Set out at each his pace	D
The hare it was the fleeter	E
The tortoise won the race	D
And since the world's beginning	B
This ever was the case	D
	-
'Ned's genius blithe and singing	B
Steps gayly o'er the ground	A
As steadily you trudge it	A
He clears it with a bound	A
But dulness has stout legs Tom	Q
And wind that's wondrous sound	A
	-
'O'er fruits and flowers alike Tom	Q
You pass with plodding feet	A
You heed not one nor t'other	E
But onwards go your beat	A
While genius stops to loiter	E
With all that he may meet	A
	-
'And ever as he wanders	D
Will have a pretext fine	J
For sleeping in the morning	B
Or loitering to dine	J
Or dozing in the shade	A
Or basking in the shine	J
	-
'Your little steady eyes Tom	Q
Though not so bright as those	D
That restless round about him	G
His flashing genius throws	D
Are excellently suited	A
To look before your nose	D
	-
'Thank heaven then for the blinkers	D
It placed before your eyes	D
The stupidest are weakest	A
The witty are not wise	D
Oh bless your good stupidity	A
It is your dearest prize	D
	-
'And though my lands are wide	A
And plenty is my gold	A
Still better gifts from Nature	E
My Thomas do you hold	A
A brain that's thick and heavy	A
A heart that's dull and cold	A
	-
'Too dull to feel depression	J
Too hard to heed distress	D
Too cold to yield to passion	J
Or silly tenderness	D
March on your road is open	J
To wealth Tom and success	D
	-
'Ned sinneth in extravagance	D
And you in greedy lust '	-
'I' faith ' says Ned 'our father	E
Is less polite than just '	-
'In you son Tom I've confidence	D
But Ned I cannot trust	A
	-
'Wherefore my lease and copyholds	D
My lands and tenements	D
My parks my farms and orchards	D
My houses and my rents	D
My Dutch stock and my Spanish stock	B
My five and three per cents	D
	-
'I leave to you my Thomas'	D
'What all ' poor Edward said	A
'Well well I should have spent them	S
And Tom's a prudent head'	A
'I leave to you my Thomas	D
To you in TRUST for Ned '	-
	-
The wrath and consternation	J
What poet e'er could trace	D
That at this fatal passage	T
Came o'er Prince Tom his face	D
The wonder of the company	A
And honest Ned's amaze	D
	-
''Tis surely some mistake '	-
Good naturedly cries Ned	A
The lawyer answered gravely	A
''Tis even as I said	A
'Twas thus his gracious Majesty	A
Ordain'd on his death bed	A
	-
'See here the will is witness'd	A
And here's his autograph '	-
'In truth our father's writing '	-
Says Edward with a laugh	U
'But thou shalt not be a loser Tom	Q
We'll share it half and half '	-
	-
'Alas my kind young gentleman	J
This sharing cannot be	A
'Tis written in the testament	A
That Brentford spoke to me	A
'I do forbid Prince Ned to give	V
Prince Tom a halfpenny	J
	-
''He hath a store of money	J
But ne'er was known to lend it	A
He never help'd his brother	E
The poor he ne'er befriended	A
He hath no need of property	J
Who knows not how to spend it	A
	-
''Poor Edward knows but how to spend	A
And thrifty Tom to hoard	A
Let Thomas be the steward then	J
And Edward be the lord	A
And as the honest laborer	E
Is worthy his reward	A
	-
''I pray Prince Ned my second son	J
And my successor dear	E
To pay to his intendant	A
Five hundred pounds a year	E
And to think of his old father	E
And live and make good cheer ''	-
	-
Such was old Brentford's honest testament	A
He did devise his moneys for the best	A
And lies in Brentford church in peaceful rest	A
Prince Edward lived and money made and spent	A
But his good sire was wrong it is confess'd	A
To say his son young Thomas never lent	A
He did Young Thomas lent at interest	A
And nobly took his twenty five per cent	A
	-
Long time the famous reign of Ned endured	A
O'er Chiswick Fulham Brentford Putney Kew	B
But of extravagance he ne'er was cured	A
And when both died as mortal men will do	B
'Twas commonly reported that the steward	A
Was very much the richer of the two	B