A Singular Exhibition At Somerset House Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A BCDCEEFGHHIHI BBJKLLLMM EENN OHHHOPPPQQP RRFSSFPPTT TTTTFFUUVVVVHHVVVVGV MMVVWWCCVVXYCVVVTTCC VVZZOur Crummie is a dainty cow Scotch Song | A |
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On that first Saturday in May | B |
When Lords and Ladies great and grand | C |
Repair to see what each R A | D |
Has done since last they sought the Strand | C |
In red brown yellow green or blue | E |
In short what's called the private view | E |
Amongst the guests the deuce knows how | F |
She got in there without a row | G |
There came a large and vulgar dame | H |
With arms deep red and face the same | H |
Showing in temper not a Saint | I |
No one could guess for why she came | H |
Unless perchance to scour the Paint | I |
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From wall to wall she forced her way | B |
Elbowed Lord Durham poked Lord Grey | B |
Stamped Stafford's toes to make him move | J |
And Devonshire's Duke received a shove | K |
The great Lord Chancellor felt her nudge | L |
She made the Vice his Honor budge | L |
And gave a pinch to Park the judge | L |
As for the ladies in this stir | M |
The highest rank gave way to her | M |
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From number one and number two | E |
She searched the pictures through and through | E |
On benches stood to inspect the high ones | N |
And squatted down to see the shy ones | N |
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And as she went from part to part | O |
A deeper red each cheek became | H |
Her very eyes lit up in flame | H |
That made each looker on exclaim | H |
Really an ardent love of art | O |
Alas amidst her inquisition | P |
Fate brought her to a sad condition | P |
She might have run against Lord Milton | P |
And still have stared at deeds in oil | Q |
But ah her picture joy to spoil | Q |
She came full butt on Mr Hilton | P |
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The Keeper mute with staring eyes | R |
Like a lay figure for surprise | R |
At last this stammered out How now | F |
Woman where woman is your ticket | S |
That ought to have let you through our wicket | S |
Says woman Where is David's Cow | F |
Said Mr H with expedition | P |
There's no Cow in the Exhibition | P |
No Cow but here her tongue in verity | T |
Set off with steam and rail celerity | T |
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No Cow there ain't no Cow then the more's the shame and pity | T |
Hang you and the R A 's and all the Hanging Committee | T |
No Cow but hold your tongue for you needn't talk to me | T |
You can't talk up the Cow you can't to where it ought to be | T |
I haven't seen a picture high or low or anyhow | F |
Or in any of the rooms to be compared with David's Cow | F |
You may talk of your Landseers and of your Coopers and your Wards | U |
Why hanging is too good for them and yet here they are on cords | U |
They're only fit for window frames and shutters and street doors | V |
David will paint 'em any day at Red Lions or Blue Boars | V |
Why Morland was a fool to him at a little pig or sow | V |
It's really hard it ain't hung up I could cry about the Cow | V |
But I know well what it is and why they're jealous of David's fame | H |
But to vent it on the Cow poor thing is a cruelty and a shame | H |
Do you think it might hang by and by if you cannot hang it now | V |
David has made a party up to come and see his Cow | V |
If it only hung three days a week for an example to the learners | V |
Why can't it hang up turn about with that picture of Mr Turner's | V |
Or do you think from Mr Etty you need apprehend a row | G |
If now and then you cut him down to hang up David's Cow | V |
I can't think where their tastes have been to not have such a creature | M |
Although I say that should not say it was prettier than nature | M |
It must be hung and shall be hung for Mr H I vow | V |
I daren't take home the catalogue unless it's got the Cow | V |
As we only want it to be seen I should not so much care | W |
If it was only round the stone man's neck a coming up the stair | W |
Or down there in the marble room where all the figures stand | C |
Where one of them three Graces might just hold it in her hand | C |
Or maybe Baily's Charity the favor would allow | V |
It would really be a charity to hang up David's Cow | V |
We haven't nowhere else to go if you don't hang it here | X |
The Water Color place allows no oilman to appear | Y |
And the British Gallery sticks to Dutch Teniers and Gerard Douw | C |
And the Suffolk Gallery will not do it's not a Suffolk Cow | V |
I wish you'd seen him painting her he hardly took his meals | V |
Till she was painted on the board correct from head to heels | V |
His heart and soul was in his Cow and almost made him shabby | T |
He hardly whipped the boys at all or helped to nurse the babby | T |
And when he had her all complete and painted over red | C |
He got so grand I really thought him going off his head | C |
Now hang it Mr Hilton do just hang it anyhow | V |
Poor David he will hang himself unless you hang his Cow | V |
And if it's inconvenient and drawn too big by half | Z |
David shan't send next year except a very little calf | Z |
Thomas Hood
(1)
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