A Singular Exhibition At Somerset House Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: A BCDCEEFGHHIHI BBJKLLLMM EENN OHHHOPPPQQP RRFSSFPPTT TTTTFFUUVVVVHHVVVVGV MMVVWWCCVVXYCVVVTTCC VVZZ

Our Crummie is a dainty cow Scotch SongA
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On that first Saturday in MayB
When Lords and Ladies great and grandC
Repair to see what each R AD
Has done since last they sought the StrandC
In red brown yellow green or blueE
In short what's called the private viewE
Amongst the guests the deuce knows howF
She got in there without a rowG
There came a large and vulgar dameH
With arms deep red and face the sameH
Showing in temper not a SaintI
No one could guess for why she cameH
Unless perchance to scour the PaintI
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From wall to wall she forced her wayB
Elbowed Lord Durham poked Lord GreyB
Stamped Stafford's toes to make him moveJ
And Devonshire's Duke received a shoveK
The great Lord Chancellor felt her nudgeL
She made the Vice his Honor budgeL
And gave a pinch to Park the judgeL
As for the ladies in this stirM
The highest rank gave way to herM
-
From number one and number twoE
She searched the pictures through and throughE
On benches stood to inspect the high onesN
And squatted down to see the shy onesN
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And as she went from part to partO
A deeper red each cheek becameH
Her very eyes lit up in flameH
That made each looker on exclaimH
Really an ardent love of artO
Alas amidst her inquisitionP
Fate brought her to a sad conditionP
She might have run against Lord MiltonP
And still have stared at deeds in oilQ
But ah her picture joy to spoilQ
She came full butt on Mr HiltonP
-
The Keeper mute with staring eyesR
Like a lay figure for surpriseR
At last this stammered out How nowF
Woman where woman is your ticketS
That ought to have let you through our wicketS
Says woman Where is David's CowF
Said Mr H with expeditionP
There's no Cow in the ExhibitionP
No Cow but here her tongue in verityT
Set off with steam and rail celerityT
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No Cow there ain't no Cow then the more's the shame and pityT
Hang you and the R A 's and all the Hanging CommitteeT
No Cow but hold your tongue for you needn't talk to meT
You can't talk up the Cow you can't to where it ought to beT
I haven't seen a picture high or low or anyhowF
Or in any of the rooms to be compared with David's CowF
You may talk of your Landseers and of your Coopers and your WardsU
Why hanging is too good for them and yet here they are on cordsU
They're only fit for window frames and shutters and street doorsV
David will paint 'em any day at Red Lions or Blue BoarsV
Why Morland was a fool to him at a little pig or sowV
It's really hard it ain't hung up I could cry about the CowV
But I know well what it is and why they're jealous of David's fameH
But to vent it on the Cow poor thing is a cruelty and a shameH
Do you think it might hang by and by if you cannot hang it nowV
David has made a party up to come and see his CowV
If it only hung three days a week for an example to the learnersV
Why can't it hang up turn about with that picture of Mr Turner'sV
Or do you think from Mr Etty you need apprehend a rowG
If now and then you cut him down to hang up David's CowV
I can't think where their tastes have been to not have such a creatureM
Although I say that should not say it was prettier than natureM
It must be hung and shall be hung for Mr H I vowV
I daren't take home the catalogue unless it's got the CowV
As we only want it to be seen I should not so much careW
If it was only round the stone man's neck a coming up the stairW
Or down there in the marble room where all the figures standC
Where one of them three Graces might just hold it in her handC
Or maybe Baily's Charity the favor would allowV
It would really be a charity to hang up David's CowV
We haven't nowhere else to go if you don't hang it hereX
The Water Color place allows no oilman to appearY
And the British Gallery sticks to Dutch Teniers and Gerard DouwC
And the Suffolk Gallery will not do it's not a Suffolk CowV
I wish you'd seen him painting her he hardly took his mealsV
Till she was painted on the board correct from head to heelsV
His heart and soul was in his Cow and almost made him shabbyT
He hardly whipped the boys at all or helped to nurse the babbyT
And when he had her all complete and painted over redC
He got so grand I really thought him going off his headC
Now hang it Mr Hilton do just hang it anyhowV
Poor David he will hang himself unless you hang his CowV
And if it's inconvenient and drawn too big by halfZ
David shan't send next year except a very little calfZ

Thomas Hood



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